Part 02

      The morning came. He wakes slowly, his head pillowed. Soft, warm, he thinks before coming completely awake, Relax, she doesn't lie, and it's still 'today'.

      In the dim light, he watches her sleeping, and occasionally crying out softly. Hell, it ought to be a fun way to die. He makes tiny licks on one nipple, while touching the other, feather soft. He notes them getting bigger and harder. Either I'll get a Taming, or I'll get out of here. Either way, it can't get any worse from here. 'Narm' is a whole other issue. he thinks as he slips a hand between her legs, She's already wet, and her little friend has come out to play. Maybe I should introduce her to my little friend. He stroked her, enjoying her sleepy squirming and cries. Too bad that doc never taught me her trick to stay up all night. It hurt like Hell, but was it useful.

      The Jokette cries out and clamps her legs firmly around his hand. As her eyes open, she glares at him and hisses. His trapped fingers keep stroking her clit. "It's still today, and I didn't wake you up to put it to waste."

      The Jokette's confusion is comical. "Me?"

      "You've got a beartrap hidden down there?"

      She closes her eyes as his fingers probe deeper. "NO, a joy button."

      She whimpers as he wriggles his fingers inside her. "And the Prof thought I wasn't paying attention. His little rants when he was pissed off were always more useful than the damn course work." Resting his chin in her cleavage, his legs trapping hers as best he could, with one hand stroking and tweaking her hard nipple, while the other driving her to squirm and rub her legs against each other, like two entwined worms on a hot sidewalk.

      The Xerablondi sits up as the Jokette covers her face with a pillow and screams into it. The Xerablondi stares at Narm's room, then she shakes her head and lies back down.

      As the Jokette lies still, he pulls the pillow aside. "Happily squealing Pokègirls, that's what I became a Tamer for in the first place," he tells the panting Jokette. "Let's see if I can alert my friends from here," he tells her as he releases her to spread her legs.

      Not as tight as some others, but they haven't had a sewer pipe shoved up there, or up theirs either.

      He glides in and out, ignoring her murmurs and cries by imagining a running commentary by Fuzzbutt on what he is doing. When her pussy grabs him, he stops, instead concentrating on singing frogs, dancing rainbows, and cute little mouse-girls who won't come out of their teapots.

      "I thought I was better than that," the Jokette teases.

      "Oh, you are. It's just that, I'm only good for about twice, and       "

      "And I need it more than you," the Jokette says and laughs bitterly, "Poor lost, little lamb needs big, virile man to show her that the world isn't all mean and pain. If that's a joke, it isn't funny."

      "Even I don't find this world funny," he replies, "I just thought you might enjoy a Taming that didn't make you bleed. I also didn't hear you tell me to stop, and I am still chained to this bed, so you could have walked away anytime you wanted. Yeah, I wanted to fuck a girl who I could watch and enjoy. My Alpha seems to think because fucking her is like fucking an earthquake, I might enjoy Taming a PsiDyke. You seemed to like it."

      "So the universe likes giving you low blows? Maybe you'd like to hit back?" the Jokette smiles pleasantly as she clamps her warm breasts around his erection. "Let's take care of this, and then your mind will be clear. Of course I'll let you see my face, until you cover it up. And of course, our spying friend here knows just what to do, and is even giggling inside about doing it."

      The Xerablondi sits up and grins at the Jokette. "It'll be a pleasure watching him use that on you. I'll even make a gag at no extra cost."

      "I think we're all gonna enjoy that," the Jokette says and grins back, making Brian very nervous.

---

      "We shouldn't have left," Fuzzbutt says as the lifts a rock to look under it, "Someone should have       " She burst into tears. "I want my Master back! Waaah!"

      Bugs sighs and catches the thrown rock, before it breaks a window. "When I said 'he might have crawled back under his rock.'" She looks up and down the raked paths of the stone garden. "I didn't mean it literally."

      Fuzzbutt stops with a different rock held aloft. "What are you talking about?" she asks, completely mystified, "His rock would be miles from here, practically in the next county. If he was hiding under his rock, we'd be looking somewhere else." She runs up to the Seraph and screams at her, "Don't try to cheer me up! I want to feel bad! I didn't protect my Master, the best, kindest, cleverest Master who ever lived! I have to find him and beg his forgiveness! If I can't find him, I have to be punished!"

      The Bunnygirl looks at the rock garden hopelessly. "Now you made me lose my place! I'll never find him this way! WAAAH! I'll have to start all over! WAAAH!"

      "Start at this end then," the Seraph offers, "And work towards the middle. You're looking here, because the light's better?"

      Fuzzbutt lifts rock after rock, giggling the entire time. "You're silly! I'm looking here - AH ha!" She holds up a short strand of silk. "I found it!" She stands up and sneers at the Seraph. " 'The light's better here.' Anybody with eyes can see the light's terrible here! And people think I'm stupid!"

      Bugs shakes her head and passes Flopsie as she heads out. "Your witless, counselor," she tells the PsiDyke, "Maybe you can figure out what's going on."

      The Bunnygirl holds up the piece of cord and dances. "We're gonna find Master! We're gonna find Master!" She holds the cord up over her head with both hands.

      "Careful, you'll drop it," Flopsie warns.

      "I - I will not!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shouts at her, then holds it out towards the PsiDyke. "It's even sticky so I -" She tries to let go, and can't. Tries to pull her hands loose, and can't.

      "It's very sticky!" Flopsie grins and tells her.

      "HELP! HELP! It's got me!" She waves her hands around wildly.

      Flopsie dodges, avoiding getting caught on the stick strand.

      "HELP! HELP! It's got my EARS! Let go of my EARS!"

      Flopsie grumbles, but grabs the Bunnygirl telekinetically, holding her immobile, and straining desperately just to manage that. "Why don't you put those sharp teeth to good use and carefully bite through it? Then your hands and ears will be free." She carefully sets the girl down and gets out of range.

      "Yay!" Stupid Fuzzbutt squeals, "I'll be free!" She puts the cord in her mouth and bites through it. Her ears pop loose and her hands come free. "Way!" she shouts. "Merfl? Meef. Merfergle?! Wamafulgepsamazahnadana!"

      "I'm so sorry." Flopsie cups her ear. "Can you speak more clearly? I can't make out what you're saying." The PsiDyke laughs at the Bunnygirl. "Maybe you shouldn't talk with your mouth full!"

      Stupid Fuzzbutt grabs her and shakes her while screaming, "Heebhoopen meref! Goo gogen mofe, wefeblm sas!"

      "You idiot rabbit!" the PsiDyke shouts back, "Now I'm stuck too!"

      "MAAW!" Stupid Fuzzbutt cries, shaking her head.

      "Not the ears too," Flopsie says darkly, "If you try to kiss me, I'll strangle you!"

      "MAAW!" Stupid Fuzzbutt cries and hugs the PsiDyke.

---

      As long as an arm, one end all the strands knotted together expertly, braided along the length as long as a forearm. Another knot, then each strand hangs separately, until they meet a crossways strand, and they were spliced in, making a smooth fan of cords.

      "Come on, Tiger," the Jokette teases, "Quit admiring the craftsmanship, and put that thing to use." The Jokette wiggles her bare bottom in the air to show the target. "Hey, you awake? Or are you one of those softy Tamers who doesn't like to hurt his girls?"

      Brian frowns at that. "I never hit Fuzzbutt."

      Not that I didn't try, he admits, Once. After that I never even thought about it.

      "And you've been hurt," he tells her.

      "That toy won't hurt me as much as Narm's treatments," the Jokette assures him, then rubs her fingers on his inner thigh, "Why do you think she goes overboard that way? Because her Tamer really got turned on whipping a girl who'd crawl up and beg for more. Her former prissy-ship couldn't handle the idea that inflicting pain could also bring pleasure to the one hurt. Sure, it'll leave little welts and a few bruises." She smirks as she carefully runs her nails across his thigh. "But sometime a little discomfort is       exciting. You aren't likely to use that thing to draw blood. You'd need a real cat to do that, and you'd never agree to use one. Tell you what. You give me a good whipping, get me all lathered up, and a good hard Taming after, and I'll free your legs too. What you do from there, is your business, but I think you won't be too quick to leave. There's a Megami-Sama to be captured, and a Jokette. Power and money, you aren't going to run away from that too quickly." The Jokette laughs at his sardonic expression.

      "I ain't gonna do it," he tells her, then before she can frown, "Get in my lap, free my legs, and I'll give you what you asked for."

      "Oh," she happily squeals, "The hands-on approach. The personal touch."

      The instant she's draped across his lap, he brings his hand down on her firm rump. The meaty smack and the joyous squeak blend.

      "Easy Tiger, let me get these loose first," she tells him, "A burn would dampen your enthusiasm."

      "Hurry. Hurry. Hurry," he tells her, swatting her lightly with each word.

      "Done, Tiger n -OW!" she squeals as he hit her hard again and she squirms, "Nice, don't hold back. We Po - OK - girls are tough."

      She arches her back and grinds her waist on his leg as he brings his hand down again. "Oh, somebody's getting as excited as I am." She reaches in his shorts and runs her hand down in an oddly soothing manner, "Don't get over excited y - OU - can hold it," she says, her voice as smooth as honey. "We can BO -th enjoy this, and YOU can learn to CON - trol YOUR - self." She purrs as he begins rubbing the silky cat on her bare back. "EV -il," she coos, Ev - IL little man. No, I guess YOU aren't SO little. ARE you? Some - ONE's gotten a whipping BE - fore. And SOME - one wants to GIVE it back," she teases, "Don't WO - rry. I'll SPAN - k you a little LA - ter. Then you CAN do all kinds OF things to PUN - ish me."

      She laughs, despite the hard spanking.

---

      "From the strand of silk you recovered," the Tamer mage tells them, "I can pinpoint where your kidnapper is. Yes, Miss Fuzzbutt?"

      "She's not ours, we just want back what she took," the Bunnygirl politely corrects, "But if you can pinpoint her, can you stick some pins where they're really hurt, so she'll know how unhappy we are?"

      "Uh - I think it's better I tell you where she is, and let you deal with her."

      "She's afraid she'll steal his heart," Flopsie says.

      "EWWW!" the Bunnygirl squeals, "We would have found the rest of him already then!"

      The mage looks around at his Harem, and Fuzzbutt's group, then continues, "Miss Fuzzbutt, I know you helped us with the Mantis hunt, and I impressed you with my skills. But someone erased all traces of him, someone very powerful. They also erased the traces of the kidnapper, but they couldn't erase the traces on her webbing, especially since it was shielded by the rocks."

      "You mean -!" The Seraph hangs her head.

      "Which is what I sent you to find, and you did."

      "Yay me!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shuts happily, and hugs herself, "Ooh, can't breath. Can't get loose. Help!"

      The Demon-Goddess and the Seraph pry her arms loose before she suffocates.

      "Most of your hugs are like that," Flopsie scolds, "You might want to be gentler."

      "People never complained about my hugs," Fuzzbutt gasps.

      "Because they can't breathe," Thumper tells her.

      "Then they should go outside," Bugs suggests in an empty-headed tone, "There's plenty to breathe out there."

      "Are you making fun of me?" Fuzzbutt demands.

      "Any -way!" the mage interrupts, "This is where your - where the kidnapper is. Your lost Master should be there."

      "He isn't lost!" Stupid Fuzzbutt insists, "He was taken!" She looks around at the others. "Why does everybody think I'm so stupid I'd lose my Master. We've gotten separated, but I always found him. I've never lost him! People are mean! WAAAAH!" the Bunnygirl announces.

      The stunned mage turns to the others. "Do you need my assistance, or my assistants?"

      "BWAAHHH! HAAA! HA! HA! Ha!" Fuzzbutt wipes the tears from her eyes. "That's funny!"

      "Thank you, no," Flopsie says, "I wouldn't do that to anyone."

---

      He leans over her, standing beside the bed she lays on, his weight pressing down on her breasts. He looks at her ankles bound behind her head. He pinches her nipples, slowly and harder than he would have for most girls. Squeezing them in time with each stroke. The slow, very hard thrusts give him time to think. Ignore the angry red marks all over her soft bottom, or how hard you're slapping your hips against them. If she wasn't looking more out of it than Fuzzbutt usually does, when she isn't grinning like a fool       I wouldn't be doing it, he thinks, She told me she wanted this, so this is what she gets. I'm loose, if I didn't want to do it, I could just run away. But I want to catch that Megami-Sama, crazy or not.

      The Jokette makes no sound, her eyes rolled back up in her head, only the stroking of his forearms with her fingers as he slams himself against her, shows she's even awake.

      Suddenly, her pussy clamps shut, her eyes open and she easily lifts his arms off her breasts. Bared teeth and a grim expression show her struggle. "Gonna make you cum," she challenges, as her muscles are doing the most impossible, incredible things to him.

      Fuzz       she did a       what stupid       he tries and fails to distract himself, he goes, Like all the strength going too.

      He hears her bonds snap, and feels her legs wrap around him, holding him in place as she lowers his body to lie face-down on her breasts. If she's trying to smother me in her breasts, it'll work. I can't move.

      She wraps her arms and legs tightly around him and moves him so he won't smother.

      He looks up at her. Why not kill me? She had the chance, and the deal was 'don't hurt me'. He sees her worried expression and that it softens into an impish grin as he relaxes onto her soft curves. Then she lays her head back and starts to laugh, as if she's heard the funniest joke.

      Then he gets it. Oh       oh crap! he thinks before burying his face in her huge, soft breasts and laughing like a madman himself.

      The Xerablondi stands by, looks at the pair, still locked in each others' embrace: arms, legs and pussy all hanging on for dear like, and both still laughing like loons. "Okay. I'll admit it, I don't get it."

      "Ah ha!" the mad Megami-Sama announces, "Trying to escape? Bwahaha! You shall be punished, severely! And seducing this poor innocent to help you."

      " 'Innocent'? I'm insulted," the Jokette says in disgust, "And I'm also interrupted."

      "Actually," Brian says, "I seduced her so I couldn't escape. As you can see, she still has quite a grip on me. She prevented my escape at my request. Or was it my quest? That's always bothered me: if you don't have a quest in the first place, how can you request anything? Even though requests are questions, asking should only be making a quest to get an answer. Before you request who knows, your first quest may be successful. Knights had lots of quests, but not a lot of questions. I wonder if that was part of being a knight: you couldn't question, you had to quest instead. Or outstead, or outside, or at the outset to set out on a quest."

      The Xerablondi gets up and walks away, quickly. The Jokette sticks her fingers in her ears and starts to hum.

      "I guess that's why there are no more knights, everyone has questions these days. It's kind of sad. Like donut holes. I don't mean donut holes are sad, or at least not as sad as whole donuts. Little bits of forgotten deliciousness left to get dry and stale, unloved and unwanted. I mean donut sounds like do not, 'Do not forsake me oh my darling'," he sings the last and continues, "And hole sounds like whole. Although the latter sounds more alike than the former. But that's how questions are formed, sooner or latter. Do you suppose donut holes get sad, being sold separately from the donuts they came from? I guess it depends how aware you are, to determine if you're sad or not. Some people are really out of it, so they might not be sad, but I suppose if the donut hole never knew it was related to a particular donut, it couldn't relate to being sad when it was sold separately. Don't you think? I mean of course you think, you couldn't breathe if you didn't think, but about what I said. What did I say? I hate forgetting what I'm talking about, cause when you remember, you get deja vu. So if you get deja vu, is it because you remembered what you were talking about, or because you had been there before, or that you just had been here and were talking about it and you remembered what you were talking about, but didn't remember you were talking about it here."

---

      "We have to save him! Now!" Stupid Fuzzbutt insists, "Who knows what terrible things they are doing to him!" The tears ran down her cheeks as she thought about her Master.

      "If we can wait for the morning, we can get more of those Tamers -" Bugs suggests.

      "If we wait till the morning, they may escape!" the Bunnygirl shouts, "If we attack now, we have surprise."

      "What makes her think they won't turn that jackass loose when they're done?" Flopsie mutters.

      "What makes you think I can't hear every word every one of you has ever said?" Fuzzbutt asks as she confronts the PsiDyke, "These are ears, not a hat!" The Bunnygirl turns to the others. "Just for the record. That 'jackass' taught me how to defeat a Demon-Goddess, and a Seraph. Me, a Bunnygirl, one-on-one. Could any of you do that?"

      "No," the PsiDyke mumbles.

      "That 'jackass' taught us the trick that let us kill that Mantis, and capture that pair of Jokettes. Without losing anybody on our side! So, since I'm stupid, let's add it up together. A Demon-Goddess, a Seraph, a Mantis, and two Jokettes, all in less than six months. Many be I'm too stupid to have read it somewhere, but I haven't heard of many Tamers who could match that in their lifetime."

      The Seraph put a hand on the Bunnygirl's shoulder, drawing her away from physically assaulting the PsiDyke.

      "I understand you don't respect him. I understand you don't like him," she says as she cries, "But I love him, he's kind and he's never hit me. Maybe you understand that he's mean, but maybe you don't understand he's just lonely and afraid. He needs someone to love him." She challenges the Demon-Goddess. "Maybe that's how he knew how to beat you! I'm too stupid to think of that, but you never even tried! Maybe I didn't want to go with Marty Jenkins and his pencil fetish! Not the nice wood ones with the eraser, but mechanical ones. Click! Click! Click! Click!"

      Thumper backs away from the angry Alpha.

      Fuzzbutt holds out a Pokèball. "Anyone who doesn't want to help me go find him, can go back in their ball, and stay there!"

      "Fuzzbutt," Cottontail, one of the MaryAnn Drews says, "I think neither you, nor the others are thinking straight. You've been up for hours without rest. That's how bad mistakes are made. So, I really only have one thing to tell you, besides I do look forward to meeting our Master."

      "Yes?" Fuzzbutt says.

      "Return."

      Fuzzbutt vanishes in a pool of red light, and Mopsie hands the Pokèball to Thumper.

      "Thank you," Thumper says.

      "She's right you know," Mopsie says, "When they tell this story, he'll still have trained a Bunnygirl up to take out a Demon-Goddess, and a Seraph. Cottontail and I are here, and here we stay, with her and the rest of you."

      "Sometimes we forget why she's Alpha," Thumper says, "Cottontail, you feel up to heading out and keeping an eye on this place? There's always the chance she's right."

      The MaryAnn Drews vanishes.

      "The rest of you, get some rest. We will hit them, in two hours. I want everyone wide awake and rested when we do. I haven't really been fighting, so I can stay at full alert for a few more hours."

      Flopsie and Mopsie disappear into their Pokèballs.

      "I had hoped my life would be remembered with some dignity," Bugs says.

      "Oh, when they make the movie, they'll improve it. Only historians will care about the truth, or I should say, only historians will care about the facts, the truth will be self-evident to all, it's just that they'll pick their truths. He was a Legend, she was, they were, we were incompetent       take your pick"

      "Gee, thanks. And here I was thinking I couldn't feel any worse," Bugs says.

      "Get some rest," Thumper tells her, "I need you clear-headed as a field general, while I keep our Alpha under control."

      "Any idea what our plan will be?"

      " 'Someone very powerful', the mage said. So we scout it out and we either steal him back and run, or we flatten them and capture the lot of them," Thumper replies.

      "What do you think would happen if we send her in there alone?"

      "Do you want Mountaintide and Storm Gale as Harem-sisters?"

      Bugs considers, "No." She vanishes into her ball.

---

      "But then coal wouldn't be coal, now would it? Although it is wood, or used to be," Brian says, and giggles.

      The Megami-Sama, slack-jawed and drooling, vanishes in a pool of red light. The Xerablondi lowers the Pokèball which isn't even rolling or flashing. "I think I lost about a hundred IQ points," the Xerablondi says, "I could feel them just fizzing away while you talked."

      The Jokette pulls her fingers from her ears. "Are you aware that some jokes just feel awful? I couldn't here, and yet       I knew."

      Brian put his head down on her huge breasts. "Please tell me I'm not a brain dead moron who'd actually understand all that drivel! Waah!" he cries, "Damn I'm tired, I didn't think seeming braindead would be exhausting!"

      "There, there, rest, I don't think you have anything to worry about," the Jokette soothed, "If you ever start acting that way for real, I will kill you."

      "Oh, you say the sweetest things," he says and flutters his eyelashes at her, "Just out of curiosity, are you ever gonna let go?"

      "I kind of like having you in there," she teases, "Makes sure you can't put it in somewhere else, and no one else can get in. And this       " She grins and her muscles begin massaging and squeezing, "Give you the most adorable expression."

      "What is going on?" the Xerablondi asks, "You beat her, she's trapped in here, you don't have to keep the act up."

      "Let's get The March Hare packed up, then I can explain to you and Hazel, Big Wig, while we're headed into town."

      " "Bigwig'? Is that a hair joke?"

      The Jokette bursts out laughing.

      "Yes, to both questions," Brian says and grins, then chuckles.

---

      The troops assemble. "What are we waiting for?" Stupid Fuzzbutt demands as she paces. Every time she turns, everyone ducks to get out of the way of her ears.

      "For our scout," Thumper says, and ducks as the ears come around.

      "And - "

      The MaryAnn Drews lands atop the Bunnygirl. "Wahh! I broke my bunnyplace!" the MaryAnn Drews wails.

      "Oh." Stupid Fuzzbutt hugs her. "Waaah! We'll get some glue! Waaah! Then stick it up! Wahh!"

      "Glue?!" the stunned MaryAnn Drews asks.

      "Sure, otherwise all the cookies will fall out."

      "Cookies?"

      "Sure."

      "Oookay," the nervously grinning MaryAnn Drews says as she stands up and walks behind Thumper and Bugs, "Master walked out of there, with two new girls, and they're on the way to to-OWN! Can't breathe - ribs cracking."

      "Master's safe, Master's alive!" Stupid Fuzzbutt squeals as she dances around while hugging the MaryAnn Drews.

      "Blue's definitely your color," Bugs tells her.

      "Why? I'm happy," Fuzzbutt says, and lets the girl slither out of her grip and pool on the floor. Stupid Fuzzbutt walks over and whispers to Bugs, "I knew she was fooling about her bunny place. I mean, we don't even know where she lived, how would she have a bunny place? Silly."

      The Seraph declines to comment.

      "So do we go after him, or wait here?" Thumper asks.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt looks around at each girl, her terror growing. She looks again, staring at each in turn, then bursts out in tears. "WAAAH!"

      "Making a decision isn't that hard. We can - "

      "Not that! WAAAH!" Stupid Fuzzbutt cries, "Gonna - have a - party! Then I - realized -"

      "We can have a party," Bugs soothes.

      "There's too many!" Stupid Fuzzbutt sobs.

      "We can get a bigger room," Bugs tells her.

      "Are - you - stupid?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asks, then sobers, "In the Harem! In the Harem! WAAAH! Why am I the only one who can count past six?! WAAAH!"

      The other girls look around, and realize what 6 + 2 really means in their world.

---

      "This isn't going to work," the hooded figure says as the walk through town. People ignore the two hodded figures for the girl with the rainbow-colored dreads.

      "What do you mean?" the hooded man asks.

      "I can't lie. Every time I try, I start to smile, and me smiling will blow the whole thing."

      "How do you tell a joke if you can't lie, Hazel?" the girl with the multicolored dreadlocks asks.

      "Jokes are different. There's no expectation of truth in a joke."

      "This is a joke. A joke on the whole world," the dreadlocked girl says.

      The hooded girl stares at her from under her hood. "I thought you didn't 'get' jokes."

      "I don't think anything is funny, but I do appreciate cleverness."

      "What an encounter this is going to be. Come on Hazel, Bigwig, let's do this."

      The trio entered the Pokècenter.

      "Ma'am, I have a problem."

      "A big problem," Bigwig says.

      "I think I ran into a Legendary, a mean one." He waits for the NurseJoy to stop shaking, before he continues, "She did       she did this." He pulls back Hazel's hood and looks at the terrified NurseJoy.

      "Yeah, shriek, cry, OMG!, terror," Hazel says in a bored, brain-dead tone, "WHATEVER!"

      The confused NurseJoy pulls a Pokèdex, aims it a Hazel, makes several adjustments, aims it at Hazel, then stares at the readout.

      "Jokette, right?" Brian asks, "That's what mine reads too. I've heard of girls who could disguise their signatures, but never of one who could alter anothers'."

      "I warned you that the make-up would get you in trouble, but you just knew better," Bigwig says, shaking her dreads, "Wait til she sees what happened to your poor Megami-Sama."

      "We'll run her through a Level 5 Healing Cycle, then we'll see. I'm sure she'll be all right," he says as he hands the ball over and the nurse puts the ball in the machine.

      Hazel snorts. "Believe what you want. We are well and truly Tamed."

      "The rooms are back there," the Nurse Joy offers, watching Hazel very closely.

      Hazel pulls a very large, very sharp knife, and places it on the counter. She sighs and shakes her head.

      "Knock, knock," Bigwigs asks.

      "Who's there?" Hazel asks in a bored tone.

      "Little old lady."

      "Little old lady, who?" Hazel asks.

      "I didn't know you could yodel," Bigwig says.

      "What's the difference between a Titmouse and an Evangelion?"

      "I don't know," Hazel says, "What is the difference between a Titmouse and an Evangelion?

      "Use your 'dex stupid!" Bigwig says, "I used to have a job counting spiders. I wasn't very good until I realized I could just count their legs and divide by eight."

      Hazel turns to the nurse. "You can stab her if you want, I certainly won't stop you."

      The Nurse Joy picks up the knife and hands it hilt first back to Hazel.

      "Making me the butt of your joke?"

      The Joy grimaces. "I think you've proved your point. Jokettes are funny." The healing machine rings, indicates its completion. The nurse looks confused. "If there was anything wrong, it shouldn't have finished so quickly." She pales as Hazel grabs her arm, and she looks at Hazel's intense expression.

      "Don't say that when he lets The March Hare out. She's mostly harmless, unless someone says she's not funny. Something about her jokes being beyond your understanding will keep you alive, but mostly just politely applaud and smile." She lets the Joy go, and fixes a normal smile on her face as the Joy hands the ball back to Brian. The entire group braces as The March Hare materializes.

      "You let him escape?" the Pokègirl in the smiley buttons and bows accuses.

      "It was your plan," Bigwig replies, "And the Nurse Joy is completely fooled. She's certain that Hazel's a Jokette and you're not."

      "Oh, completely fooled, completely," the Joy assures her.

      "HA! HA! HA! HA! My master plan is working to perfection!" She stops and looks around, then whispers to Hazel, "What is my master plan again?"

      "Return," Brian says, then looks at the Joy as they all relax from the crazy Megami-Sama's removal, "I think you can see the problem. You said the machine didn't find anything physically wrong with her?"

      "No," the Joy says and shrugs, "Perhaps a high order Taming Cycle."

      He hands her two other Pokèballs. "Try a Level 4 on these. They're twins who now think 'Incest is best.' If a Level 4 won't cure them, then Level 5 them and give them to separate, good homes. The Megami-Sama       I'll deal with that if the Level 4 doesn't work on them. I'd rather not Level 5 her if I don't have to."

      "I understand." The Joy takes the balls. "Uh, you should also purchase some Limiter Earrings, even if you don't want her to think she's a Megami-Sama. Whether she thinks she is, or not, she'll need them."

      "Thank you." He hands her his 'dex to download all the information.

      "I have to contact the League authorities and prepare the proper forms." She hands the 'dex back.

      "Thank you," he says, "Do you need us to stay?"

      "Oh, no. Thank you, I've had enough excitement for one day. Check in tomorrow."

      "Thanks, sorry for the trouble." They leave.

      "Why'd you drop them off?" Hazel asks.

      "We need a red herring, and frankly, I've already got a lesbian Pokègirl in my Harem. I don't need a pair of incestuous ones. My tolerance only goes so far."

      "Understood," Bigwig says.

      "So what about Fiver, and Holly, and Campion and       " Hazel glances around carefully, then whispers, "General Woundwort?"

      Brian looks back at the Pokècenter. "You're right. Something has to be done about that." He walks back in.

---

      "Master! Master! Master!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shouts as she runs towards her Master and the Penance-skittish Pokègirl beside him, another takes up a position in front.

      I'm actually happy to see her, he thinks, but still side-steps the headlong rush. Allowing Stupid Fuzzbutt to crash into Bigwig, nearly toppling the Xerablondi.

      "You aren't my Master," Stupid Fuzzbutt says while Bigwig holds her up.

      He tugs gently on one of her ears.

      "Ouchie."

      "Stand up," he tells her, "Greet your new Harem-sisters."

      "You?!" the dumb bunny asks as she looks from one to the other, "Master caught you all by himself?"

      "Yeah." Bigwig set her back on her feet, while Hazel looks on nervously. It attracts Stupid Fuzzbutt's attention.

      "So you like Taming him and cuddling him!?" she asks eagerly, making Hazel more and more nervous.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt grabs Hazel and jumps for joy. "Yay! Yay! Yay! Master has another - OUCHIE!" She lands and rubs her chin. "Why'd you hit me with your breast?"

      "Why did I -?" Hazel asks, then stops as the Bunnygirl fondles the huge mammalries. Her Master suppressing an attack of the giggles doesn't help in the slightest.

      "Oh! Master caught a Milktit!"

      "Not exactly," Hazel tells her.

      "Master got a Milktit caught and Tamed her, you didn't evolve into a Minotaura did you?"

      "No he didn't, and not - that I remember," Hazel says and glares at her Master.

      The Bunnygirl stops and considers. "Master beat up Team Rocket baddies, and stole their Milktit."

      "No," Hazel yells at her, pulling out a large mallet, "Where's your 'any' key? I have to hit it."

      "Oh. Oh no! Not that!" Stupid Fuzzbutt yells. Hazels looks vaguely guilty and puts away the mallet. "Master has to take the Storage Test to keep all his girls!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shouts and tugs on her ears, "Or they'll make you give away some of your girls."

      "Oh," Hazel says in a mockery of the rabbit, "He could have gotten rid of someone we know? It's that a revolting development."

      "I just finished the Harem Master interview," he replies, spoiling Hazels fun, "I'm just waiting on the results."

      "With that Megami giggling," Hazel says, "I think she's going to make them pass you."

      " 'Harem Master'?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asks, her eyes filled with love and joy, "Master's gonna be a Harem Master?"

      "Maybe," he says cautiously.

      "Celebration Taming!" the rabbit shouts, grabs her Master and runs off.

      Hazel vanishes, reappearing in front of Stupid Fuzzbutt. She easily trips the Bunnygirl and teleports again to catch her Master.

      "Ouchie," Stupid Fuzzbutt says as she lays sprawled in the dirt, "Why do you always make me fall down?"

      "I like pratfalls," Hazel tells her.

      "I thought that was my butt," the Bunnygirl says, "My stupid fuzzbutt." She giggles.

      Hazel carefully sets down her Master and walks over to Stupid Fuzzbutt. "Look, he likes your enthusiasm and joive de vive, but it's like salt, too much is worse than none."

      "He thinks I've been assaulting him?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asks.

      Hazel backs away, as the Bunnygirl stands. "You should be a little gentler. Slowly. He's less likely to run, if you don't act like you're chasing him. Go ahead and run towards him." Hazel ignores his warning hiss, "But walk the last few feet. Don't tackle him, unless it's to protect him, or you're already in bed together." She sighs at the girl's clueless expression. "Now show me how you should approach him."

      Fuzzbutt run up, grabs him and runs off. "You're silly!" she shouts as she runs away.

      "Yes, I am," Hazel admits, "Trying to change a primal force of the universe."

      Bigwig approaches from one direction, while a PsiDyke, Seraph and a Demon-Goddess approach from another.

      "I gave him the ropes to restrain her, and the cat. I think she'll learn. If not, what you gave him will really torture her," the Xerablondi says, "I have to appreciate the - effect - of it on her. Oh, company."

      "So are you all walking around loose?" the PsiDyke asks, "Or did you get looped into playing the Universe's butt monkey?"

      "I was already that, before I met him. Hoist by my own petard. Be careful what you wish for, and all that," Hazel says, "This is Bigwig, I'm Hazel."

      "Bugs, Thumper, Flopsie, Mopsie and Cottontail."

      "That does it," Bigwig says, "He's Peter from now on."

      "I thought you didn't tell jokes."

      "Even my resistance to the patently ridiculous has limits," Bigwig says.

      The two MaryAnn Drews approach Hazel closely, staring at her face. The Jokette backs away slightly and growls at the pair. Each pulls a marker from somewhere and doodle a single black tear under each eye, matching their own markings.

      "Thank you I -" Hazel stops as they each add a half a handlebar moustache and cat whiskers. "That was completely predictable, and thus, not funny."

      Both girls clutch their ample chests and fall to the ground to writhe soundlessly.

      "Welcome my fellow butt monkey," the Seraph extends an hand, and clasps Hazel's, only to pull back a glove on a stick. Bugs sighs. "I think she's going to fit in. I'm not sure what that says about us though."

      "Aren't Bugs and Thumper boy rabbits?" Hazel asks.

      "So are Hazel and Bigwig," Thumper counters, "If you're expecting rational and reasonable, they took a train out of here the day we arrived, and haven't been seen since."

      "Welcome to Purgatory," Flopsie offers and glances at the others in her group.

      "Considering I was in Hell," Hazel replies, "That's a step up, a big one."

      "So you think he's wonderful-marvelous, the bestest Tamer in the world too?" Flopsie asks.

      "Not by a country mile. But he got me out of Hell, that's enough."

      "Can we talk?" Bugs asks and looks around the street, "Somewhere private."

      "I think that's a very good idea." Hazel signals for Bigwig to fall in with them.

      "I thought your breed was totally fearless," the Seraph says, putting herself between the Jokette and the rest of the group.

      "There's fear, and then there's knowing the Universe is out to get you, and just wanting to make it through another day without it noticing you - again." Hazel sees that Bugs doesn't believe her. "Okay, I'm not frightened. I'm tired. There's a difference between being punished for painting a moustache on the Mona Lisa, and being punished for just talking about it. I'm tired of having to applaud a rank amateur, while my best ideas get shot down and raked over the coals. I'm tired of never knowing if suggesting good or evil courses of action will get me punished. And mostly, I'm tired of being the only person in the Universe who is always expecting reality to take a great, big crap on my head."

      "Reality still takes regular craps on us."

      "But I wouldn't be alone. I could have someone to share the popcorn with, while that Bunnygirl digs through it looking for the cute Ponytaur."

      "She'd find one too," Thumper adds. Hazel nods.

      "Besides, I can restrain myself enough to limit myself to harmless, or to direct my special attention on the evil you no doubt want to seek out. Actually, it would amuse me no end."

      "Like I said," the PsiDyke says and offers her hand, "That makes all of us. You won't believe who's Alpha."

      "I would. What's the matter, none of the rest of you wanted the job?" Hazel asks, "Who's Beta?"

      "We never needed one," Thumper admits.

      "Now you just might," Bigwig tells them.

      "Oh, one other little thing," Hazel says, "You are a Seraph right, not just a Malakim?"

      "Yes," Bugs says and before she can dodge, Hazel throws a fireball at her.

      Hazel curses from the burns on her throwing hand, while Bugs enjoys the fire dancing over her. Thumper looks from one to the other. "That's just sick. Who'd Bless one of you?"

      "That's something else we have to talk about," Hazel says, and hisses as Bugs take her hand. The Seraph traces her finger over the burns, leaving only unmarked skin behind.

      Bugs embraces the Jokette tightly. "Keep your word, and I will protect you also." She kisses the Jokette on the lips. "Welcome."

      "If that was a test, I can't use Smilex. I have       other oral abilities, that I'd rather not go into in the middle of the street."

      Bigwig slaps Hazel on the back of the head. "There should have been a 'Thank you' in there somewhere." Bigwig looks at the others. "She can't lie. If she said it, she meant it." She holds up a belt with eight Pokèballs on it. "There were ten, but we gave away two, and three empties. That's why he took the Harem Master's exam."

      "Uh, he doesn't know about us," Bugs tells them, "Just Flopsie and 'Stupid Fuzzbutt'."

      "He has to have looked at the registration section," Hazel protests, "Ah, wait, he hasn't. Pure dumb luck, accent on the dumb." Thumper and Bugs nod. The two MaryAnn Drews approach Bigwig, who produces a whip and cracks it to send them running.

      "I can almost feel the trouble coming off that belt," Flopsie says as she stares at it.

      "Believe me, most are good girls, just eccentric," Hazel warns.

      "There's one," Bigwig interjects, "Who will be a problem."

      The Demon-Goddess snorts as they enter the Pokècenter, "Against us? You haven't seen what we can do."

      "So he doesn't know about all of you," Hazel says, "And she doesn't know about all of us. I think it might be fun to keep it that way." When the others look at each other and smirk, she says, "I think I am gonna like it here."

      "Once we're alone," Bugs says, "You all better start speaking clearly, or I'm going to get intense."

      "Hazel laughs. "I am gonna like it here!"

---

      The Jokette pulled one ball from the belt. "Let's leave The March Hare right there for the moment," she says, carefully placing the ball on the table. She looked around the large lounge they had assembled in. "Besides, I swear she's aware of the world outside her ball, so she'll see all of you as well. Let's start easy. General Woundwort."

      "Not more rabbits," Flopsie complains.

      "What's wrong with rabbits?" Hazel asks as she thumbs the release.

      The little girl who appears is anything but a rabbit. The two-foot tall canine girl in the loose night shirt with the huge, soulful, violet eyes, and the ears that drooped at the tips tugs at the heartstrings of every Pokègirl in the room.

      The clutches at her shirt and nervously looks from one face to another, as if seeking someone or something in each face. She looks at Hazel and Bigwig and frowns slightly at them. She brightens as she looks at Bugs, Thumper, Flopsie, Mopsie and Cottontail.

      "Come on," Mopsie says as she smiles and waves the girl forward.

      The little one turns. "It is okay, Hazel?" she asks. She glances around worriedly, before whispering, "She won't punish me?"

      "It's all right, Gennie," the Jokette replies wistfully.

      The big, deep eyes turn back towards the MaryAnn Drews. "Are you gonna be Harem-Sisters?"

      The girl nods.

      "Can we be       friends too?" she asks nervously.

      "Of course little one. I-"

      Mopsie fell silent as she was embraced by a 12-foot-tall, armored, lupine monster. "I'm so happy!"

      Bugs and Thumper stare at the Jokette. "Chibi Wolf Queen?"

      "Right down to the personality. Six-years-old, solid Moe, twenty-seven ingenue full of hope and love in her battle form."

      "And no in-between?" Bugs asks as she stares at the huge warrior hugging and dancing the MaryAnn Drews around, "At least she knows enough not to strangle her, like our Alpha."

      "And you're proud of that, no doubt," Thumper says darkly.

      The Jokette considers, smiles and nods. She holds up another Pokèball. "This one came as is. I know stacking Templates is impossible       I blew up an Amachamp that way once. But a Charred Battle One Hot Knight is the only explanation. Maybe she's a genesplice, but       " She releases - a large turtle shell, British Racing green, with purple flames. Hazel shrugs. "I painted her, sue me. BOOM dear, I think there's someone at the door, could you check?"

      Several hatches open in the shell, revealing nozzles. Several flare briefly, propelling the shell over to the door. Several others flare so she lands softly. While the others stare, the door opens, then closes.

      "Thank you dear. General Woundwort, Gennie."

      "Yes," the huge Wolf Queen sets the stunned MaryAnn Drews aside.

      "Your friend BOOM is over there," Hazel says, "And probably uneasy about all these people."

      "BOOM?" the lupine warrior asks and smiles.

      "BOOM!" the small, cute wolf-girl charges over and dives head-first into the largest opening in the shell. Armored lupine legs, arms, tail and ears sprout from the shell's openings. "BOOM!" the adult voice comes from the shell as it spins wildly. The Wolf Queen's tail stands straight out, while her arms and legs flail wildly, like a spider on a warm stove.

      "Round and round and round she goes," Cottontail says.

      "Where she stops," Mopsie adds.

      "When she makes you faint," Hazel says with a happy smile.

      The Wolf Queen's arms, legs and tail begin to droop, until they drag on the floor, slowing the fast spinning shell to a stop.

      "Boom," comes from inside the shell, not in Gennie's voice. The Wolf Queen's limbs retract as she chibifies.

      Hazel catches Bugs' arm as she rushes forward. "She's safe. Gennie becomes a Chibi when she passes out, and BOOM won't hurt her, or anyone who doesn't try to hurt her family."

      Bugs stares at the Jokette. "I told you that we'd fit in here," the Jokette says.

---

      "Master, why did you tie me up?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asks as she struggles against the frame in the Taming room.

      "You wanted me to get some restraints," he tells her as he sits beside her, "What do you think restraints are?"

      "Oh! I forgot!" she giggles, "So am I gonna get a Taming? Ah, Master, what's that?" She asks of the collection of silken lines spliced and knotted together. "Is that a fan?"

      He cracks it, exactly as Bigwig taught him.

      "You, you aren't going to - hit me - are you?" she asks in fear as he strokes her ears with it. "You aren't going to hurt my ears, are you, heh heh?" she laughs from the tickling and her nervousness.

      "You ignored the advice of your Beta. You will be punished for that. But this," he says, as he carefully strokes her ears and her face with the soft cords, "You won't get." He puts it away and gets out the real torture implement.

      "Awww!" she complains, then her nose twitches, "Is that -?" she asks hopefully.

      "Yes," he says as he unwraps the cake. "Carrot cake, with carrot icing, and carrot shaving." He sets the cake on her stomach. She stares at it from between her breast, trying to get a better view of the treasure. "Such sweetness, such spiciness, and all overlaid with such carrotness. But you have to be punished." He pulls a fork, and stabs it down.

      She gasps, and gasps again as he pulls out a fork full of that marvelous cake. She looks eagerly, ears alert, mouth drooling as the cake gets nearer and nearer and       goes into her Master's mouth. "The cake!"

      "It was to celebrate you cooperating with your new Beta. Since you didn't do that, you're going to watch me eat the whole thing." He eats another piece, then picks the platter off her stomach as her struggles intensify. "Better for you to imagine this is a bad dream. That neither I nor the cake is here." He takes another bite. "For you, the cake is a lie."

      "WAAAAHH! The cake is lying to me WAAAHH! It's delicious cake! I can smell it! Hit me, beat me, pull my ears, but let me have some cake!"

      "What cake?" he asks between bites, "The cake you can't have? Just put it out of your mind."

      "Can't you just put it out of my mind by putting it in my mouth?" she asks desperately.

      "No."

      "WAAAAHHHHH!"

---

      "Who else?" Thumper finally asks the drunkenly grinning Wolf Queen practically pours out of the Hot Knight's shell. The shell soft lands next to the Wolf Queen. The small girl wraps her arms around the shell and seems to go to sleep.

      "Just two, then my Masterwork," Hazel says, and stares unhappily at the Pokèball on the table, "The one that finally came back to bite me." She releases the figure.

      The brunette bird-girl looks around as if bored to death, she only smiles when she locks eyes with Bugs. Then she flops down in a chair and stares at the others, as if they disgust her.

      "Tenebrous," Flopsie says.

      "So's your egg-layer," the Love Dove replies.

      "People, Blackberry," the Jokette says, "Our most enthusiastic member."

      "Go Tame yourself," the creature says, leans back and closes her eyes, "Wake me for the fight."

      "Oh, I see how this is going to work," Thumper says, "So you like fighting?"

      The girl perks up for a moment, then lays back. "Don't tease me."

      "Seems like she's perfect for you," Bugs tells Thumper, "Promise her a fast fight after, and you can go Tame her now."

      "Not funny." The Demon-Goddess looks at the others.

      "That's what I thought," Hazel says, "But curing that condition hasn't been very successful"

      "Nuts to both of you," Blackberry says.

      "The March Hare did manage to get her to quit swearing at everybody," Hazel says, and glares at Blackberry. Cottontail sits next to Hazel, pokes a finger deep into the Jokette's breast, and lets it rebound with a boing. The Jokette growls.

      "Next person who tries to make me eat soap is gonna get hurt," Blackberry tells them.

      Cottontail pokes Hazel again. This time the Jokette hits the MaryAnn Drew's hat, making it squeak happily, and driving it down over her eyes. Blackberry looks up, then closes her eyes again. Hazel removes a balloon from her glove and inflates it. The long, gray, cigar-shaped balloon clearly reads 'Hindenburg' on the side. Cottontail pulls her hat up, making the same happy squeak. Hazel hit her on her hat again with her Hindenburg balloon which announces 'Oh the Humanity.' Cottontail tries to pull her hat up.

      The pair chases each other about the room, the Jokette beating on the MaryAnn Drews' hat. 'Oh the' -squeaks - 'Humanity.' 'Oh the Humanity!' squeak. The rest watches the pair with growing frowns.

      Bugs tugs on Thumper's sleeve, glancing at Boom and Gennie, then at the battling pair.

      'Oh' - squeek- 'the Humanity!' 'Oh' - squeak - 'the' -squeak - 'Humanity!'

      "So Hazel there, was tortured by The March Hare?" Bugs asks, "What breed is she?"

      "Megami-Sama," Bigwig explains. Gennie whimpers and snuggles closer to BOOM.

      "I have you at my mercy!" Hazel says and laughs maniacally as the heel of her stiletto pumps rests against the MaryAnn Drews' large breast, as if she could pop it like a balloon.

      "Weren't they both wearing hiking boots when they started?" Flopsie asks and looks at the deadpan faces around her, "Right, just go with it."

      With a sound like a carbon-arc light igniting, Mopsie inflates her own zeppelin balloon, this one labeled 'Graf Titties'. "My name is Indiana Montana! You killed the funny, prepare to die!"

      Hazel throws purple dye all over Mopsie and the duel begins in earnest, with Cottontail taking various Frazetta-esque poses, draped over one or the other's feet.

      "I suggest about early March, we locate Macavity and inflict them on her," Bugs suggests, "I always wondered what it would take to make the Chaos Kitty become a nun."

      "Don't joke," Flopsie suggests, "Our Alpha might just pull it off." The group nods, then clambers out of the way as the sword fight as the combatant traverse the couches.

      "You're using Capeti's defense against me?" Hazel asks. 'Oh the Humanity!'

      "Fitting, considering the rocky terrain," Mopsie replies.

      "Who you calling a rock-type?!" Blackberry complains, as Bigwig restrains her from joining the battle.

      "Leave it to the pros," Bigwig hisses at the struggling bird.

      "Better fighters?" Blackberry challenges.

      "Crazier," Bigwig replies, and the bird-girl quits struggling.

      Bugs kicks Mopsie's legs out from under her. Hazel thrusts her sword at the two MaryAnn Drews, as Cottontail takes the Pocahontas 'kill him - kill me' pose over her fallen colleague.

      "Fool, you've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders! The first, never get involved in a land war in Asia," Bugs tells the two MaryAnn Drews.

      "The second," Hazel crows triumphantly, "Is never go up against a Sicilian, when death is on the line! Ahaha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" The Jokette collapses into Thumper's arms, still managing to bury the Demon-Goddess' face in her cleavage. Thumper quickly rearranges the Jokette, so her face is buried in Thumper's cleavage, and the Demon-Goddess squeezes the Jokette's head between her breasts. The Jokette struggles, then goes limp.

      "With the intermission over," Thumper says, "Can we continue? To the end?"

      "Or do we let The March Hare out," Bigwig asks, "And let her check our grooming." The trio vanishes from the grip of whoever had held them, and reappear on the couch. With Mopsie covering her eyes, Cottontail covering her ears, and Hazel covering her mouth.

      "I guess 'have no fun' is implied," Bugs says, "Okay Bigwig, who's the last one."

      "Penultimate before the storm?" the Xerablondi asks as she plucks the ball from the table. Cottontail and Mopsie clutch each other and silently cry.

      "Anyone who tries to get near me with an Angel Stone dies," Hazel growls as she glares at the pair.

      "Understood," Thumper says in a bored tone, "One Orange Island disaster is enough."

      "Ha ha, you made a funny," Hazel growls.

      "Too bad your mom didn't," Blackberry sneers.

      Hazel rises from her seat, only to see Gennie in her adult form, and BOOM, glaring at her. She glances at the last ball remaining on the table, as if it were a live land mine. She sits as Bigwig thumbs the release.

      "This one, even I have to admire The March Hare's artistry," Hazel comments as the girl materializes.

      Before the girl can fully form, Bugs falls on the floor, rolling around laughing. The girl merely hangs her head. The girl's lower body coils and uncoils in frustration. "I was a terror to all who saw me." She glares at the giggling Seraph. "Now they laugh. I HATE MY LIFE!" the Blessed Nidogg hollers.

      "Seems she fits in just fine," Thumper says, then hauls Bugs to her seat and covers her mouth, "A little compassion?"

      The Seraph struggles to contain herself.

      "And you're right," Thumper says, covering the Seraph's face with a cushion, "About keeping her from meeting Fuzzbutt. She's afraid of snakes."

      "She is?" the Blessed Infernal asks, and grins almost as much as Hazel.

      "Yeah," Hazel says as she stands next to the snake-girl, "The dime-store plastic ones are the worst, you'll never be able to scare her as much as one of those, Easter."

      The newly-named Easter frowns. "It's not fair."

      "She is also Alpha," Flopsie says as she sidles up to the snake-girl, "At least it's not the Megami-Sama."

      Bugs shoves the pillow away from her mouth. "Speaking of The March Hare," Bug says, "I assume she's the one who Blessed both of you. Why didn't you do something truly evil, to make her remove it?"

      The Jokette and Nidogg laugh bitterly. "Have you ever been around someone who can't seem to lose?"

      Bugs, Flopsie, and the others look at each other. "YES," they say together.

      "Well       " Easter says, "The 'The March Hare' is it? She's like that."

      "We burned down an orphanage," Hazel admits tiredly.

      "BOOM, Gennie and I got all the kids out, before they ignited the place," Bigwig explains, then frowns, "Turns out the caretakers were       Taming some of those kids."

      All the Pokègirls squirm at the image of that.

      "And he was paying off some of the locals, to look the other way," Easter adds, "All that turned up during the investigation. So 'You were so good! But it was extreme.' Our whole punishment was no ice cream for a week."

      Bugs snorts, and Thumper slaps her in the stomach. "You didn't give up?" Thumper asks.

      "We beat up a bunch of little old-ladies who were trying to cross a couple of busy streets," Hazel says with a snarl.

      "Someone barely passed Evil 101," Flopsie mutters.

      "It wasn't supposed to be evil," Hazel replies defensively, "It was supposed to be funny!" She calms down. "And it was."

      "They broke up a ring of S-Goth who were trying to kill some researchers into anti-Feral treatments," Bigwig explains.

      "They kept recrossing the same streets because the Bimbo-spawn they were trailing, couldn't remember which side of the street their own apartment was," Easter gripes.

      "We put a depilatory in The March Hare's shampoo," Hazel says.

      "She put it down to 'wacky hijinks', then she punished us, severely," Hazel explains, "See, it's a leash, a locator, and a powerful attack, that is worse than useless against her. So it's to her benefit to leave it in place. You want to tell her about the fuzzy poms?"

      "I want to forget that fuzzy poms exist!" the Nidogg says coldly.

      "So you couldn't do something really evil, and when you tried to do something nasty and funny, she punished you severely," Bugs says, "Why not steal a couple of Angel Stones, go the whole way, and then go the Fallen Angel route?"

      "Have you even seen an Angel Stone in these parts?" Hazel shouts back.

      "One in the big Tamers' Center in Redwood, two in fact," Mopsie tells her.

      Both of the Blessed Pokègirls bow their heads.

      "That's why we stayed away from there, once the MaryAnn Drews evolution was discovered," Cottontail says, "Who'd be stupid enough to slap an Angel stone on a Jokette?"

      "How about two at once?" Bigwig asks, and smiles at the pair, "I'm going to look forward to the meeting between our new Alpha and The March Hare."

      BOOM suddenly lifts up and rotates. "Master's coming."

      The girls scramble for the Pokèballs. BOOM, Bugs, Thumper, Gennie, Mopsie, Cottontail, Blackberry and Easter all vanish, leaving just Flopsie, Bigwig and Hazel.

      Hazel finds herself with one particular Pokèball in her hand. "Too bad they won't see it." She thumbs the release.

      Their Master walks in. Stupid Fuzzbutt runs in front of him, and drops to her knees as if praying. "Cake?!" she wails.

      "What cake?" her Master asks as she steps by her.

      The others stare in shock at the pair.

      The Bunnygirl runs around in front of him again, tears running down her fuzzy cheeks. "Cake?!"

      "The cake - "

      "The cake wasn't a lie!" Stupid Fuzzbutt whimpers, "I smelled it! It was on my belly!" She grabs his collar and shakes him. "Cake is NOT a lie!" She breaks down in tears and collapses to the ground. "The cake is not a lie. Delicious cake." Then she dashes over to Hazel, and grabs her in one of her spine-shattering hugs. "YouaremyBetaI'mhappytomeetyouI'msurewe'regoingtohaveawonderfulfuturetogether." She releases Hazel, letting the Jokette gasp for breath, while the Bunnygirl rushes back to her Master. She's halfway there, when she turns around and runs back to the Jokette.

      "Ok - OW!" the Jokette says as she's crushed again.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt tells her, "I'm very sorry I didn't take your advice. From now on, please keep advising me." She releases Hazel again, racing past the Megami-Sama, who watches all of this with her jaw hanging open.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt drops to her knees, stares worshipfully at her Master, and falls over laughing. "She's so funny!" the Bunnygirl laughs, her fuzzy feet waving in the air.

      "Have I said anything yet?" the stunned Megami-Sama whispers to Hazel.

      "No. Quit while you're ahead."

      "All those bows use granny knots!" the Bunnygirl gets out between the laughter, "They'll all fall off."

      "There, there," Hazel consoles the stricken Megami-Sama, "We'll get you some appropriate clothes."

      The bunny's laughter stops, and she's on her knees, before her Master, and crying again. "Delicious carrot cake?"

      "I'm sure The March Hare will be glad to make one for you," their Master tells her.

      Hazel gasps, but hold her tongue. "Bleech. Wash my hands."

      "Make me a cake! Make me a delicious carrot cake!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shouts as she runs at the Megami-Sama, who looks on benevolently, until the Bunnygirl adds, "Before all your ribbons fall off and you embarrass yourself."

      With an angry scowl the Megami-Sama answers, "Very well." She raises her hands.

      The door blows open.

      "Oh look, the cavalry," Brian says as he spots the mustachioed man in the Team Rocket uniform.

      Three Neo-Iczels and three Demonesses charge into the room ahead of their Tamer.

      "Surrender your Pokègirls and yourself to Team Rocket's UltraHeavy Brigade."

      "They think you're fat," Hazel whispers to The March Hare.

      "You dare!" the Megami-Sama shrieks as her hair stands on end, surrounding her head in a sparking aura, "I bet you think I'm not funny either!" She gestures. Hazel is seriously disappointed by the lack of fireworks, the others are utterly stunned.

      "CAKE!" Stupid Fuzzbutt squeals delightedly as she launches herself at her targets, the tasty treats.

      The March Hare stares at the Bunnygirl. "Red button," Hazel whispers to the Megami-Sama who remains slack-jawed as the Bunnygirl devours carrot cake after carrot cake.

      "Should I turn them back?" the horrified Megami-Sama asks.

      "Absolutely not," Hazel assures her, "It would be unfunny. Red button."

      The numbed Megami-Sama never takes her eyes off the Bunnygirl gobbling down cakes as she hands Hazel the device. Hazel teleports next to the female partner of the horrified Tamer. She yanks down the woman's skirt and panties, then slaps the button against the human's crotch and lets the clothing go with a snap.

      As the woman yelps, Hazel warns, "I wouldn't move or pee if I were you." Hazel mimes an explosion before she teleports away. The device begins beating softly. She watches as her Master catches the exhausted Megami-Sama as she collapses.

      "Limiter earnings," he says, "But I'm glad she didn't get them yet."

      The man screams in agony as Stupid Fuzzbutt, lost in the ecstacy of delicious treats, sinks her teeth into another.

      "Pthew! Icky!" Stupid Fuzzbutt complains and spits, then she punches the man, "You're not carrot cake! You can't trick me! You just taste funny!"

      Hazel's expression brightens with madness. She pulls a pair of switchblades. "He - tastes - funny?" she announces from the madness place, as the the switchblades snap open, revealing a four-foot long dinner knife and fork. "He tastes funny!" she says excitedly.

      The Rocket Tamers both faint.

      "I HATE it when they do that!" Hazel shouts.

      "BRACK!" Stupid Fuzzbutt belches, then pats her full belly, "Excuse me."

      "How are we going to explain this?" Bigwig asks as she and Flopsie help their Master arrange The March Hare on one of the couches.

      "Not our problem," their Master assures them.

      "BRACK!" Stupid Fuzzbutt announces, "Sleepy full now."

---

      Officer Jennies tend to be similar, Hazel thinks as she walks through the police station, occasionally showing her new ID when the officers react to her appearance and their instruments. Camouflage, once you smell right, they just let you in. Like this one. The differences appeal to my sense of humor. You look at her, and you automatically think, 'Oh, a slim, buxom 4' 10"' and so cute you'd swear she's forged of pure Moe. Hazel grins, then reduces it to 'amused Goth' levels. Until you get up close. Then the 'I'm little, I'm cute, please don't hurt me' expression vanishes, to be replaced by the mask of a professional cop. You also realize it wasn't 'please don't hurt me', it was 'please don't think I'll hurt you'.

      "Yes?" the seven-foot, five-inch Jenny asks as she peers suspiciously at Hazel.

      The Jokette offers her I.D., which shows she's a Make-Up Artist Goth. "I know what your scans all say. I can wait while you run away screaming," Hazel tells her in a bored tone and frowns, "Big joke, ha ha."

      "What do you want?" the Jenny asks as she hands back the card.

      Hazel turns the officer's hand over and looks at the callouses. "Soft hands, that'll be useful." She smirks as the Jenny yanks her hand away. "Seems the G-men need a Jenny to watch a Harem, although this bunch doesn't need to be watched. They need to be looked after. You got picked, congratulations." She hands the confused Pokègirl the forms. "Now you really might want to laugh. It staves off the crying."

      The Jenny scans the papers, occasionally glancing over the top of them at Hazel, who lounges against the wall, as Goth-like as she can.

      I'd better get out of here before I hurt myself, Hazel thinks, Her expression is priceless!

      "Why do I have to answer to 'Captain Campion?'"

      "Because Elmer Fudd was taken," Hazel replies as she examines her nails, endures the questioning stare of the Officer Jenny, "Hey, I just work for the Bunnygirl. I don't even try to understand her."

      Oh, she's tempted. She has orders, she's heard about our little battle-group, Hazel thinks, Only our Master and our Alpha really don't know what we've got, and among our little group, she'd be the normal one. That and her tits are as big as mine, although not proportionally. I think - I know my Master will want someone he can snuggle with, and she'd just love being the big, cuddly teddy bear. The land-dwelling, long-eared, furred octopus can get a little intense for most people's tastes. The rest of us are either crazy, guilt-as-charged, or clearly able to rip him to pieces. BOOM and Bugs don't fall into those categories, but he doesn't need to know that, yet.

      "I'll need to pack, and transfer my duties," the Jenny, Caption Campion tells Hazel.

      "Just send your confirmation quickly. They're getting nervous, and bureaucrats are very dangerous when they're       nervous. I wonder if that's their Feral state, they tend to get suddenly stupid when a crisis hits."

      "It kicks them in the pants and gives them a concussion," Campion replies.

      Captain, I'm gonna like you, I'm also gonna lick you, but that's for later.

---

      "Ooo, too much delicious cake," the Bunnygirl murmurs as the doctor examines her distended belly, "Cake's not a lie, but it is mean."

      "Yes," he says and glances at the Nurse Joy who shakes her head. The doctor and nurse leave the isolation room and return to the worried group. "None of them have changed back from carrot cake, although they have expanded slightly, but nowhere near their original size."

      "I got the Moon Stone bracelets for the Megami-Sama, and she's wearing them, although we have to go shopping for something more appropriate. That should probably wait a bit," Brian says.

      "I'm afraid a Level 4 didn't cure the other two, nor did a Level 5," the Nurse Joy explains, "I'm afraid you'll have to find some other means of dealing with her."

      "I've already considered that. Where are the others?" he asks Flopsie.

      "Ah, oh, BOOM and Easter are Taming Gennie. I think Blackberry is going through the fight ads. I think she's looking for a 'fighting Tamer'."

      Hazel arrives and gives Brian a peck on the cheek and a swat on the ass. "Good luck finding one who wants a Tenebrous Love Dove."

      Brian notes the frightened and expectant faces on the doctor and the Nurse Joy. "I see when you eggheads are gonna screw somebody over, you all get the same expression," he says, "Hazel already guessed, and even intercepted some of the paperwork, so out with it."

      "Your       Hazel may have you convinced she's under your control, but the League needs to monitor that. So, you either leave her here, or a Nurse Joy and an Officer Jenny will accompany you."

      "Master, a moment?" Hazel asks, Brian lets her lead him away, "One, it's not just me, they're scared shitless about The March Hare. Two, insist on picking the Nurse Joy and the Officer Jenny yourself. I've already handled the latter, and that Nurse Joy with him       take her hat off, and she could suck start the Langoud and Tame a Vixxen on Lust Dust to exhaustion, and I think you'll like her - kinks." She wiggles her eyebrows at him, them puts them back on her forehead.

      Brian smirks at that, then glances at the Joy. "Yeah, she's nice, I just hope she's not as prissy as some."

      "She isn't. Third, considering the number of times you've ended up in the hospital, having a Nurse Joy on call won't be bad." She grins at his frown. "See, even when they screw with you, you can screw them back."

      He nods and returns to the doc. "Okay, but I'll pick the Nurse Joy and the Officer Jenny. I don't want anyone who can't handle the craziness." He looks squarely at Stupid Fuzzbutt, blown up to 'third trimester pregnant'.

      "Tricky, sneaky carrot cake!" she exclaims, "BRAACK!"

      "Is that gonna switch over to the other end?" Hazel asks, "We may want to get her into the fresh air before that happens."

      "We gave her a purgative to ease her symptoms," the doctor says.

      "Runny bunny," Hazel says.

      "And I get to name them."

      "No doubt the Officer and the Nurse have -"

      "Doctor," the Nurse Joy interrupts, taking the doctor's arm, " 'Peter' doesn't know I used to be called 'Holly'." She giggles.

      Hazel shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "Sometimes you just can't compete."

      "Oh, you can compete," Holly explains, "You just can't win."

      "Yes, I see," Hazel says, "Welcome."

      "OH! Sneaky carrot cake!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shouts and leaps off the bed to dash out of sight.

      "Runny bunny," Hazel says.

---

      "What will we call ourselves? The Sour squad?" Brian asks as he looks from one ball to another. He releases Gennie, who immediately hops into his lap and snuggles against him. She smiles up at him and hugs him. "You like your new sisters?" he asks.

      "They're funny," Gennie says.

      She hasn't met Stupid Fuzzbutt yet. I wonder why Hazel suggested we keep that a secret. 'Easter' I can understand, but why the rest? Considering the scrutiny Hazel and The March Hare are getting, maybe that's a good thing, he thinks.

      Gennie's ears perk up as she scrambles out of his lap and activates her Pokèball before the visitor sees her. Hazel arrives with Holly, and a very tall, very busty Officer Jenny in tow.

      "Look what I caught Master!" Hazel says excitedly. The other two shake their heads.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt arrives with Bigwig and Flopsie. The Bunnygirl runs across the distance to him, only to trip half way there. "WAAAH! Why does the gravities like me and carrot cake doesn't?! WAAH!"

      Hazel tries to think of something to say, and bows her head when she can't manage anything.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt sits up and glares at Hazel. "You stole them!"

      "I had forms that said I could!" Hazel replies and sticks her tongue out at Stupid Fuzzbutt, then she runs at Brian. She manages to 'trip' over Stupid Fuzzbutt and land head-first in front of Brian. The Nurse Joy blanches at that. Hazel clasps her hands and pleads with him, "I caught them fair and square! Can I keep them PLEASE!?"

      The two new comers look at Flopsie and Bigwig, who just shrug.

      "Did you check their teeth, check for sway back, and make sure their hooves are clean?" he asks.

      "Like this?" the Officer Jenny asks, then bends backward until she can touch her heels with her palms.

      "Ouchie," Hazel and Stupid Fuzzbutt whisper together.

      The Officer cartwheels over to a point between the Alpha and Beta, picks them both up and drops them side-by-side on one of the couches. "I'm not going to be the 'stick-in-the-mud' of this bunch," the Officer whispers to Brian, "No way, no how." She cartwheels to another chair, brushes it off, then regally sits. She imperiously surveys her new Harem sisters.

      "O - kay," he says.

      Hazel strains to open the metal can she picked off the couch. "Can you get this open?" the Jokette asks as she hands it to the Bunnygirl, "I'd really like some peanut brittle." Flopsie and Bigwig sit as far away from the pair as possible.

      "Sure!" Stupid Fuzzbutt asks, "Why don't they make carrot brittle?"

      "Chill anything and it'll get brittle," Hazel tells her, "Hold it between your legs, that way you can use both hands."

      "It's not tight."

      "I must have loosened it," Hazel says as the lid comes off, and it isn't candy inside.

      "SNAKE! Snake trying to get at my bunny place!" Stupid Fuzzbutt screeches as she leaps straight up and way. "Sneaky snake hiding in candy cans! Carrot cake jumping out of me the same way! WAAAH!" the Bunnygirl laments as she jumps around.

      "6.2, 6.7, 6.4, and a 2.3 from the Crescent League judge," Brian says, "You're trying too hard."

      "Yes, Master," the Jokette pouts.

      "Sit up straight."

      "Yes, Master."

      "Eat your vegetables."

      "Yes Master." Hazel grins, draws her switch blades and stalks Stupid Fuzzbutt.

      "All right. We need to get The March Hare some better clothing," he says as the Bunnygirl rounds on the Jokette, "Since we can't get her an attitude adjustment, we'll keep her in her ball until a better idea comes along."

      "From this bunch?" 'Captain Campion', the Officer Jenny, asks. She jerks her thumb at the Bunnygirl mock-biting the Jokette, who turns and runs away, after seeing the Bunnygirl's sharp incisors.

      "Don't underestimate them," Bigwig points out, "There more than meets the eye."

      The police Pokègirl nods.

      "Of course they may just be complete loons," Flopsie says as the Jokette dives under the couch to 'hide'. Her entire backside quivers in fear.

      "We've decided to accept the SLIS's job," Brian says, "Not just for the pay, which is substantial, but because - "

      "It's the right thing to do!" Stupid Fuzzbutt announces and slaps the Jokette where she can reach.

      "We get to kill lots of bad guys!" Hazel shouts excitedly from under the couch.

      "You're a true patriot and love the land of your birth," Bigwig says.

      "She wins," Hazel says, and Stupid Fuzzbutt nods.

      "Even I'm not dumb enough to believe that."

---

      The dress was understatedly elegant, durably made, but had nary a bow, bell or frill on it. "The March Hare actually looks pretty good in that," Brian whispers to Bigwig.

      "But can Hazel sell her on wearing it?" Bigwig asks in reply, "That's the real question."

      Elsewhere in the store, Stupid Fuzzbutt had released Bug and Thumper to help collect the supplies, while Flopsie keeps an eye out for their Master.

      "You could tell him," she suggests.

      "He'll be cranky," Stupid Fuzzbutt replies and shakes her head, "He hasn't been cranky lately, but this will push him over the edge."

      The PsiDyke shakes her head, then glares at a Sapphron who giggles at her and makes the 'guy sticking it in you' gesture of a finger through a circle.

      "OH! Peanut brittle." Stupid Fuzzbutt heads to the small candy counter in the supply store.

      "Why are your ears standing straight up?" Flopsie asks.

      "I'm thinking," the Bunnygirl replies.

      "First time for everything," the PsiDyke mutters, "That's real candy."

      The Bunnygirl stares at her. "Why else would I buy it?" The Bunnygirl shakes her head. "And people call me dumb. You have a five-gallon can!"

      "Yes ma'am, your friends can enjoy it too, and it reseals easily." An Ingenue running the counter tells her.

      "Good, we had trouble with another can, one of the little ones."

      "A lot of people like the resealable metal can to hold other things after they eat the peanut brittle," the clerk continues her spiel.

      "I'll take one," Stupid Fuzzbutt says, "I can pay, I just need to get my wallet out of my bunny place."

      "You keep your wallet there?" Flopsie complains.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt reaches between her breasts. "Sure. Why not?" she says, "Where did you think my bunny place is?" she asks as she buys the can and a cloth bag to put it in.

      "I - you said - " Flopsie sighs and points at her crotch.

      "That's SICK!" the Bunnygirl squeals, "How would I get Tamed if it was down there?! Eew." She shoos the PsiDyke away. "Go with Bugs, I don't want to be around you any more. Eew!" she orders.

      The confused PsiDyke slinks away. "I read her mind, I knew it was down there," she mutters as she walks away.

      "Where does she get these ideas?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asks.

      "I wouldn't know," the clerk replies.

---

      "Okay Angie, who'd you piss off to get this assignment?" the Hyperdoll asks her Mistress.

      "I would have had to have pissed on someone to get this one," the SLIS agent replies as she looks around, "Pokècenter or general store?"

      "Store," the Demon-Goddess says, then turns to the Neo-Iczel, "Behave, I know you can."

      "Ha," the girl says as the quartet moves towards the small group lugging the large quantity of supplies.

      "Brian? Or should I call you 'Peter'?"

      "You can call me whatever you like," the young man says with a smile as he checks her out, then he glances sideways, "Watch out for Flopsie." He points behind her.

      Angie turns and looks straight into the face of a PsiDyke who's drooling. "Charmed I'm sure."

      The Jokette teleports over and grabs the PsiDyke's ear and drags her away. "Down stud," she grumbles, "Even Master managed to keep it in his pants."

      "But she's - " the PsiDyke complains.

      "Normally they don't bother outsiders," the Xerablondi tells her, "As long as you don't threaten the boss, or - you know -" She glances at the Megami-Sama in the purple and green farmer's dress. "You'll be fine." The Xerablondi looks over her Master's shoulder at his Pokèdex, then she looks at the quartet. "We have enough problems, I'm not even gonna ask."

      "We'll have enough time at the village for long stories," Angie tells them.

      "Hey Hazel! You want some peanut brittle?" the Bunnygirl calls, "They sell it in metal cans."

      "Not that old gag," the Hyperdoll mutters.

      The Jokette rolls her eyes, and smiles indulgently. "Sure." As she turns to see, a five-gallon can in a cloth bag swings around and connects with her head.

      "Laugh that off, clown," the Bunnygirl tells the unconscious Jokette. She sets the badly dented can beside her Beta and walks away happily humming.

      "Snake jokes are off limits," Brian tells them, "Understood?"

      "Not really," Angie says, "But I'll take your word for it."

      "That was just - wrong - on so many levels," The Megami-Sama says in great distress, "But it was       funny."

      "I don't think it hurt the peanut brittle too bad," Holly says as she checks on her new patient.

      "There's that too," the Megami-Sama checks on the Jokette, "Nothing broken that wasn't broken before."

      The SLIS agent looks around at her allies, then at her Harem. "This is going to be interesting."

---

      "On the road again! I just can't wait to get on the road again!" Stupid Fuzzbutt sings, with more enthusiasm than talent.

      "It keeps away the Buzzbreasts," 'Peter' explains to Angie.

      "I read the reports," the SLIS agent says, "How did this - really happen."

      "The universe hates me," he tells her, then Holly, Bigwig, Hazel and The March Hare all join in and it actually sounds decent. "Sometimes I wonder about who's running this place. Other times I'm sure, and I'm sure I don't want to meet him."

      "Do you want a rundown on what's happened at the village?" Angie offers.

      "You mean actually plan something, instead of letting it just happen?" he asks, aghast, "With this bunch?"

      She looks over the group marching through the woods, and the flankers out of sight beyond the edge of the woods. "Nope, you're right, a plan is not the best course of action. Although it would be a framework to make changes on."

      "This bunch would make it into something resembling bad modern art," he replies, "Things seem to       work out so we survive. Better than that, I can't really hope for."

      The cop's absolutely neutral expression tells him he stepped in it, again.

      "So why'd you decide you weren't interested in guys?" he asks.

      Hey, I already blew my shot with her, he thinks, Might as well go for the gusto.

      "When one of them did to me, what you think the universe does to you. With a large, rough pipe," she tells me.

      "Sorry, bad memories," he doesn't quite apologize.

      "At least my girls love me. Yours love you, you know."

      "Yeah, a Jokette, a Megami-Sama who is even crazier, a Bunnygirl who beats even them, and a bunch of others who are stuck. The only sane one in the whole bunch is the PsiDyke. That says something about my world," he tells her.

      "Yeah, they've have to be nuts to put up with you," she replies, and grins at his glare.

      "Ah, HA! I challenge you for your MaryAnn Drews!"

      "See what I mean?" he asks the agent. "Hi Melon Drop," he answers, "Your mouse throw lightning bolts and Rorschach blots out her ass now?"

      "I've gotten even better girls, and I'll add your MaryAnn Drews to my Harem," his old rival tells him.

      "She thinks you're a MaryAnn Drews," Hazel tells The March Hare.

      "He thinks you are," The March Hare replies haughtily, "I am clearly a Jokette."

      "That's not what the 'dex says!" Melon Drop tells them, then his eyes bug out, "Where'd you get girls like that?!"

      "Bargain basement," he tells Melon Drop, "Red Button. I know Melon Drop's too smart to press it."

      "Ha! No one can resist the red button!" The March Hare shouts and pulls a dinner plate sized object with a raised red button right in the middle. "Ignore that!" She tosses it right in front of him.

      Written across the red button is 'Press for Orgasm'.

      "A Megami-Sama would never - " Melon Drop manages as he stomps on the button.

      The resulting explosion of glue and feathers gets most of Melon Drop's Harem too, while Angie's and Brian's girls had all scrambled for cover. The March Hare starts laughing, laughing more and more as each person realizes their predicament, until. "OoH!" she squeals.

      "Nobody said who gets the orgasm, Melon Drop," he shouts at his rival, "Let's go."

      "How long will it take them to find the zippers?" Hazel asks, loudly enough that the Titmouse hears.

      He rolls his eyes and considers the road ahead.

      "What, no 'the World hates me?'" Angie asks.

      "Sometimes       I do win," he admits.

---

      The darkness surrounds then, only the small campfire holds it at bay. "And then the hunters killed the big scary monster," Stupid Fuzzbutt says, "And everybody lived happily ever after!" She grins.

      "You're right," Hazel says, "That is a scary story."

      "Peanut brittle?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asks angrily.

      The Jokette gulps and moves away. "How come you balled the others?"

      "Cause you get balled a different way," he tells her, recalling the Bunnygirl. He glances at the other. "Might as well show you the secret." He releases the four girls. The little, furry girl runs up and hugs him. The large shell rotates to face Holly and Captain Campion. Ominous metal sounds come from within. The LoveDove takes a look around and walks a little ways away to practice. The Nidogg settles down around the fire.

      "Gennie is a Chibi," he says defensively as Happy and Jodie giggle. As they look at the huge furred figure threateningly towering over all of them, their laughter ceases.

      "I'm also General Woundwort," the huge Pokègirl growls, "Laugh it up, I can take it."

      "They're on our side, Gennie," he tells her, "And you're blocking BOOM's line-of-fire."

      The look of panic and the sudden leap by the Wolf Queen frightened the 'superpowered' girls. The little Chibi snuggling up against him reassured them.

      "Blackberry is practicing," he says, then shouts to her, "You are on guard duty, you can beat up anything that tries to sneak in."

      "Oh joy," comes the call back from the darkness.

      "Easter, here is . . ." he says, pointing to the dragon-type rubbing her tail on the cop's feet, "- not exactly pleased with the March Hare. Stupid Fuzzbutt doesn't know about them, and I'd like to keep it that way. With their experiences at The March Hare's hands, they hardly deserve to have to deal with that particular ditz."

      "I understand," Angie says, then moves her feet out of the way of the Nidogg, "Considering her feelings towards snakes, I can see the problem."

      Easter grins at the cop. "I can show you all kinds of tongue tricks," Easter offers innocently.

      "I quite happy with my girls," Angie tells her.

      "Problems with anything long, round and muscular?" the Nidogg asks.

      "Only when they've got no brains," Angie says sharply.

      "The March Hare blessed her," he tells the SLIS agent.

      "You should get an Angel Stone then," Angie replies, "Quickly."

      "You get one of those damned things near me and Recognition or no, I'll rip you into little pieces!" Hazel shouts.

      "I have neither the money nor the desire to spend it that way," he tells her, "Of course, I could just let some shlep see you, live through it, and split it with him."

      "We could buy a small country after a few times!" Hazel exclaims excitedly.

      "And you'd have half the hunters of SLUT after you," Angie warns.

      "Wouldn't that be an interesting show," he considered, "Pretty girls for the dads, and Stupid Fuzzbutt for the kids."

      "And blowing up Vampires with garlic-impregnated dynamite for the teen-agers," Jodie adds.

      "It could get good rating," Gennie insists.

      "Say, BOOM, you want to be a television star?" Easter asks.

      The disintegrator beam seemed a clear answer as it plunged them into darkness.

      "Okay, first we collect more wood, then we sell her to Smokey Bear," the Nidogg says as she uncoils from around Angie and her Harem.

---

      "You gotta promise not to tell Master." The Bunnygirl stood in front of Angie, bouncing nervously on her feet, setting her ears and boobs bouncing.

      "Tell him what?" Angie asked and glanced to her Harem, "Not that I - haven't already figured it out. I am a detective."

      "Then Master knows?!" the Bunnygirl wailed, "But he'll be cranky! It's supposed to be a wonderful surprise and he knows! WAAHH!"

      The Bunnygirl sank to the ground in tears.

      "NO, he doesn't know anything about your secret Harem. I'm sure of it!" Angie leaned down and soothed the Bunnygirl.

      Stupid Fuzzbut stared at Angie. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

      "The girls you've kept hidden from him," she said, "I know about them, but I'm sure he doesn't."

      Stupid Fuzzbutt's mystification wasn't reduced an iota. "Are you feeling okay? You are thinking some really weird stuff. Maybe you hit your head. I hit my head and woke up and thought I was a Bunnygirl."

      "You are a Bunnygirl," Angie told her.

      "Yeah, but you don't wake up thinking about it," Stupid Fuzzbutt said, and edged away from the SLIS agent, "Do you?"

      "Then what were you talking about?" Angie asked, her own bewilderment nearly matching the Bunnygirl's.

      "That I don't like carrot cake any more," Stupid Fuzzbutt told her, "What else would I have been talking about."

      "World peace," Angie said desperately.

      "No," the Bunnygirl giggled, "They're too hard to catch and eating them make me dizzy."

      " 'Eat', 'dizzy'       whirled peas," Angie said, "Of course."

      "Oh! Is that how you're supposed to do it, you eat them already dizzy!" The Bunnygirl shook the agent's hands. "Thanks a lot! Thanks so much!" She bounded away.

      "What just happened?" Angie shouted to her Harem and whatever powers were listening.

---

      "Damn," he said as he lowered the telescope, "There's at least thirty of them blocking the road."

      "We could take them," Bigwig said as she accepted the telescope to look, then grinned, "Master, why don't you and Agent Douglas go into the woods with Hazel. I need to go into the other side with our Alpha."

      Stupid Fuzzbutt looked confused, then whimpered, "She's going to steal my Master."

      "Don't be stupid," Sam said, "She's a Lesbian."

      "She's gonna steal my Master," the Bunnygirl sniffled and whined, "And make him a fraternally pledge!"

      Flopsie covered the Bunnygirl's mouth before she wailed. "Even I'm not going to try to parse that one. Go."

      Master and the agent disappeared into the woods. "Bigwig wanted them to go away, so you could release Mopsie, Cottontail, Bugs, and Thumper to go deal with those bad guys." Don't yell, we want everybody surprised.

      "Oh, oh yeah right!" Stupid Fuzzbutt exclaimed in a whisper, "So he's not going with her to Lesbia?"

      "Only if he gets hit with Gender dust," the PsiDyke explained.

      "You have to be a girl to get into Lesbia? That wouldn't work," Stupid Fuzzbutt said, "Who'd you have sex with then?"

      "They don't, that's why they come out here and find a nice girl to settle down with," Flopsie said.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt said, and sniffled. "That's so sad."

---

      "The carnage is unbelievable!" Angie says as she walks through shattered remnants of the timber and concrete blocks that had once blocked the road, "Not a lot of blood, and all the girls were balled?"

      "Of course," Bigwig says proudly, "It was a simple triple envelopment , Cannae in three dimensions."

      "Maybe for you," he says, "It seems pretty uncanny to me. You caught all of them?"

      "We can Level 5 them and sell them," Bigwig assures her Master, "None of them are a match for what you already have."

      He nods. "Weird we didn't hear much," he says, "I can only hope they didn't hear much. I'd like to walk in unannounced."

      "Good instincts," Angie says as she scans the area around them, "I think that we can slip in unseen."

      "I think, we can't," Jodie says, pointing to the woman who floats into view.

      Busty, gorgeous with flowing black hair and a skin-tight, red and black leather outfit that manages to imply a lot more than it conceals. She looks over the destroyed blockade and the lack of her troops retreating from the scene. "So, I find an opponent worthy of my attentions? Who dares challenge my power? You are bold, even admirable. Your lingering deaths will bring much joy to me, as I glut my loins and belly on your pathetic forms as you expire."

      "Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!" Hazel chants as she dives back into the ruins and tries to hide.

      "So, brave little mice, come out." The figure beckons and croons, "Come out and meet your doom!"

      "Sorry," The March hare says, "No doom meetings today. Just jokes, humor and laughter." She spins around, arms outstretched. "And while you're something to laugh at, you certainly aren't someone to laugh with." She stops spinning and stares. Which Tatfirs did your make up? And just how blind and crippled were they when they worked on you? Because only a committee could make such a travesty. Is that your hair, or are a pack of chibi Godivas waging a war on the largest flat spot they could find?"

      A quick 'dex scan reveals and is confirmed by Angie's scan, that the Dark Lady hovering over them, is not amused.

      "You? You Jokette-copycat did this? Slaughtered my slaves? Thought to upset my plans? You who wear a peasant's finery and a Make-UIp Goth's drunken spackling dare insult true beauty? You believe such crude attempts at humor would serve as a defense against my magnificence?"

      "Dive, rig for collision, seal all hatches, hatch all seals, abandon all hope!" Hazel chanted as she tries to make herself both smaller, and one with the ground. Digging herself into the loose earth piled up around one of the concrete blocks.

      "It works, and even you have to adjust the hammer."

      "Oh crap! Oh crap!" The Jokette manages to half bury herself, and the rest of the party begins to realize this is a survival tactic, not an attempts at humor or a prank. They dive into the ruins and follow suit.

      "Crude and unamusing," the Dark Lady says, "You take       pride .. . in such a pathetic display. The rest, burrowing like worms in the dirt provides at least passing amusement. Even those brain-damaged children can do better."

      "I had no idea I had such a connoisseur on my hands. I should have washed them first," The March Hare says darkly, "I assure you, my next jape should impress even you."

      "No, not a Jokette, a jumped up little goddess," the Dark Lady coos, "Who is your Master, shall I peel the flesh from his bones, or yours, and make the other watch and hear each exquisite scream? You could hardly do anything amusing. You probably could do nothing arousing. Your body most certainly proves that beyond doubt. Maybe I will show him what a real woman can do       or was the woman yours? Your body could never satisfy a man, even a child. I shall have to find amusement myself." She shouted to the group, "I'll leave just enough of you alive, so you can see what I do to those who summoned you against my will. The children, they have such dear little screams. Their tears will brighten my heart. Not too soon will they learn their place."

      The March Hare seems utterly calm, and totally rational. "I think you will be       otherwise occupied," the Megami-Sama says cheerfully, but her expression, especially her demure smile, chills the hearts of all around her.

      "You, a peasant in dress and manner. What could you do to me? I think you would be hard pressed to lift your hands from the dirt, to soil my person with them."

      "Quite true." The march Hare bows. "You shall do it, but I thought it."

      The bolt from Heaven strikes the Dark Lady, whose sneer never falters.

      "DOWN!" The March Hare orders, throwing herself into the wrecked fortifications. With a gesture she cast a shield barrier over all the cowering Harem-members who huddled there for protection.

      The scream sounds of both agony and fury, as if someone were eviscerating the Dark Lady, and she was disemboweling them in reply. Then came the lightning, as if platoons of Thunder gods fought a sudden-death tournament for the title of sole Thunderer. The Harem-members turn their faces away, or bury them in the loose ground, Victory remains an impossible goal, only survival could be hoped for. The March Hare's shield flickers and dances under the tiniest part of the battle, providing the only safety as everything else near the Dark Lady faced the Hellish onslaught of her power.

      The HyperDoll raises her head. "What's that?" Jodie whispers her question as a new sound intrudes. One that seems to make the gentle wind in the trees, a faint clinking in the distance, and the creaking of the wood of the ruin stand out in stark relief. The others strain to hear.

      "It's sure loud," he says, hearing the rushing blood in his ears.

      The March Hare stands, looks around, smiles and begins laughing. It sense shivers down the spines and limbs of both entire Harems.

      Angie stands to see the source of the joke, while all the Pokègirls remain cowering, as if they knew the terrible truth already.

      The Dark Lady is gone. Only a pit of fused glass remains where she floated. It clinks and hisses as it cools. While chunks of steaming, smoking meat dot the landscape. A short tug topples the officer, and she is caught in her Demon-Goddess's arms.

      The Jokette confronts her. "Now you tell me how I shouldn't be afraid of someone who can plan and carry out something like that?"

      "I'm not even sure what she did," Angie admits.

      "She Blessed her," Hazel tells her.

      Angie's expression froze, as if her blood ran cold.

      "If they hate, and kill Celestials       " the Jokette offers.

      "What better way to destroy one," Sam continued.

      "Than make her a Celestial," Hazel finishes, with Angie staring open-mouthed in growing horror. "I know when I'm in the presence of a Master. And it scares the Hell out of me. So I don't set her off."

      The SLIS Harem exchange glances, then nod.

      "We won! We survived! She gave us a barbecue pit as a going-away present!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shouts as she dances with delight.

      "Speaking of people who scare me," Hazel says as she stands and walks towards her Master.

      "Trouble," Sam tells her Master.

      "Yeah."

---