Part 03

The Harem (known by Brian), (known by Stupid Fuzzbutt)

Stupid Fuzzbutt - Bunnygirl
Flopsie - PsiDyke
Hazel - Blessed Jokette
Bigwig - Xerablondi
The March Hare - Megami-Sama
Captain Campion - Officer Jenny
Holly - Nurse Joy
Mopsie - MaryAnn Drews
Cottontail - MaryAnn Drews
Bugs - Seraph
Thumper - Demon-Goddess
Gennie / General Woundwort - Chibi Wolf Queen
BOOM - G-Splice (effectively Charred Battle Battle Angel {Fire-type})
Blackberry - Tenebrous Love Dove
Easter - Blessed Nidogg

Angie's Harem
Sam - Neo-Iczel
Happy - Demon-Goddess
Jodie - HyperDoll

      "Are we there yet?"

      "No."

      "Are we there yet?"

      "No."

      "Are we there yet?"

      "No."

      "Are we there yet?"

      "No."

      "Are we there yet?"

      "No."

      "Are we there yet?"

      "No! Can't you see the village!?" Stupid Fuzzbutt shouted at Hazel.

      "Of course I know. I just wanted to know if you did," the Jokette replied.

      "Yes! I know! Now quit asking!"

      "Are you mad at me?"

      "No."

      "Are you mad at me?"

      "No."

      "Are you mad at me?"

      "No."

      "Are you mad at me?"

      "Yes I am! I'm furious!" Stupid Fuzzbutt screamed.

      "You don't look furious. You just look fuzzy," Hazel replied.

      "AUGGH!" the Bunnygirl screamed as she threw herself at the Jokette, and missed. "Thank you for catching me," she told Jodie.

      "Don't mention it," the HyperDoll replied.

      "Why not?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asked, and looked around. Hazel had taken off at a run towards the shore. Campion shook her head and went after her. The March Hare had stopped atop a small rise.

      The Megami-Sama stared at the signals the Jokette hand signed, and the bent Pokègirl smiled. "Here is where we lay our ambush," The March Hare said, "We move the village, so the villains crash into that sandbar, and we have a series of mines here to tie down and weaken the landing forces. Meanwhile, we catch them in a cross fire between this point and the ridge over there." The Megami-Sama pointed and gestured to sketch out her plan. Bigwig climbed to the ridge to stand beside the Megami-Sama. After a moment, she nodded her approval.

      "Shouldn't we talk to the villagers first?" Angie asked, "They live her you know."

      "Not for very long," Stupid Fuzzbutt said, "They don't have any street signs."

      Angie blinked and then headed towards the Megami-Sama. "What will you do if they don't follow your plan?"

      "They must! It won't be funny if they don't. Besides, my Megami-Sama disguise is perfect. Everyone trusts the Megami-Sama, the insufferable suck-ups," The March Hare explained as she began walking towards the village.

      Angie caught the warning glance from Flopsie, and decided to drop the subject. "Does it worry you that the only other rational one is the Jokette?"

      "What do you mean 'other one'?" Flopsie said, "I think I'm beginning to like it here."

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      In the village square, the group receives a heartfelt and unabashed review. "Why aren't we getting the army?" the elder complains, "We pay taxes. We should get the Legion, not cops and a kid Tamer."

      "Now you know why all the kids in this village go on their Tamer's Journey, and never come back," Brian says, "Not exactly the most welcoming environment."

      "Is that why there are no boys or girls your age in town?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asks, "The elders drove them away? Yeesh. If they hadn't done that, they'd have the forces to defend themselves." The Bunnygirl's revelations shocked no one, but are not well received.

      "What does a Bunnygirl know?" another elder demands.

      "That there's nothing in this town worth the effort to steal," Stupid Fuzzbutt replies, "And if you're so mean to my Master, who came to help you because he's loving and wonderful, you must have been mean to the pirates . . . and we should leave. You're getting what you deserve!" she declares. That sets the elders squirming, as Brian and the others consider it.

      "What does a Bunnygirl know about anything?" Flopsie asks, "There's a dead Mantis, and a couple of Jokettes who would ask the same question. If they'd made it through their battles against her."

      "Yeah, well she didn't finish the job," the first elder adds.

      "They've penetrated my disguise," The March Hare glooms.

      The elders glance around at the obvious example, and then at the Megami-Sama.

      "A troop of comedians," the first elder dismisses them.

      Angie shakes her head. "So much for being civil," she whispers.

      "The Megami-Sama has a plan to move your town, in relation to the sandbar. To lead the pirates into a trap," Bigwig offers reasonably.

      "Fine," a third elder replies.

      Brian covers the Bunnygirl's mouth, to prevent her comment on their automatic willingness to accept the Megami-Sama's plan.

      "I'll draw it up and we shall build it," The March Hare intoned.

      Brian and Angie roll their eyes at the instant and vaguely enthusiastic approval of the Megami-Sama's pronouncement.

------------------------------

      Angie walked towards the sound of Stupid Fuzzbutt talking. What does she know about flower arranging? Angie knew she didn't want to ask, and as she approached she realized, She doesn't know anything about it. Someone is egging her on.

      One of the pirates captured at the roadblock was bound to a tree, gagged, and wearing an expression of murderous fury. The Bunnygirl droned on and on, as the pirate strained at her bonds. Then the pirate dissolved in red light. Angie glanced at Hazel, who, with the two MaryAnn Drews was preparing to release another girl.

      "And you tie her to a tree?!" Angie asked.

      "And then we just talk to her," Hazel said, ignoring the giggles of the two others, "How else do you make land mines?" Hazel asked as the trio of Harlequin evos bound the She-Captain to a tree. They then gagged her.

      "Land mines! You said if I helped you I'd get out of digging! Just because I'm a Bunnygirl, people think I'm only good for two things!"

      "Two?" Angie asked and regretted it.

      "Yeah! Eating carrots and tripping over my own ears. Bunnygirls can do lots of other things too!"

      Angie retreated while her sanity was intact. Land mines! Only a Jokette could develop a plan like that, she realized, Tie someone to a tree and let that deranged rabbit go on and on, with Hazel egging her on, then Pokèball the victim. You get a Pokèball full of someone who'll kill the first person they see, especially if they're talking. Short-lived, but effective. At least I hope Hazel came up with that idea. The notion that someone else came up with it is too frightening to contemplate.

      She climbed the hill where the main jaw of the trap was being built. The village and the villagers were still moving. But if they make it out of the trap, she thought, This is where the business will be done.

      "Officer," Campion called as she checked the progress against the maps The March Hare had generated.

      "Hazel and Stupid Fuzzbutt are in the woods making land mines," Angie said. The Officer Jenny didn't even nibble the bait.

      "The village is mostly moved."

      "How are the other preparations going?" Angie asked.

      "We've got the slit trenches dug, and the dugouts." The Officer Jenny looked around. "Wouldn't it be easier if everybody knew about everybody?"

      Angie considered, then shook her head. "Somehow, I don't think so. None of them are the most stable, and their relationships are . . . fractious. Adding the complication of the two leaders getting to know more people, wouldn't help us. After the battle, they should know, but not before. If they see another, they'll assume they're mine."

      "I'm just seeing the new crew is a greater problem than the enemy. And against this enemy, we may need a lot more unity than we've seen," Campion said, "There's also something about this village. Oddly it was something that ditzy bunny said. She was complaining about splinters, about not getting them. Maybe they've had to rebuild a lot, but salt-sprayed wood should splinter like crazy."

      "Paint and varnish?" Angie asked.

      "Whitewash," the Officer replied, "Or they have the people to completely rebuild and they strip the old building for good stuff, and burn the old. This village is dying. Few kids and no teen-agers or young adults."

      "We still have a job to do Officer. And as for their unity, I'm afraid that's our job. Because I don't think the League would want this as a smoothly running Harem."

      The Officer Jenny considered, and gulped. "I think you're right."

      "I'll check on the other defenses. What do you think of the crew anyway?"

      Campion sighed. "I hate to say this, but aside from some off-the-wall stuff, Hazel and Flopsie are the most rational of the lot. The fact that they decided to Tame me silly last night, all night, has nothing to do with my opinion."

      "None?"

      "Other than seeing I still considered myself an outsider," she admitted, "I haven't felt that wanted in a long time. They were smart or psychic enough to pick it up, and discerning enough to want to deal with the problem. Yes, they had some weird tastes, but nothing painful, gross or violent. I was kind of fun, and not just in the way an adventure is fun, in retrospect. They were gentle and very kind. Although they encouraged me to try out some things on them that . . . well, I've never admitted to them before, and now is not the time."

      "Don't be ashamed that they encouraged you to play. Hazel's a Jokette still, and they like having others lose their inhibitions. Flopsie has an eye for pretty girls, and a sense for the adventurous ones. It's what she and her Master do to relax, girl watching. What about the others?"

      "Gennie is a sweet kid, while I think General Woundwort is mostly growl, and almost no bite, if you're a friend. BOOM is just too shy. Bugs and Thumper are too busy giggling about all of this to really be helpful. The rest are a pack of mixed nuts I wouldn't trust as parking enforcement. But it works, somehow."

      "True. Bugs and Thumper being in the hidden Harem doesn't help. He's already thinking the villagers are gaslighting him, because they keep mentioning those two," Angie said and chuckled.

      Angie walked to the other redoubt, and was glad to see, even knowing what to look for and with her trained eyes, no evidence of activity until she was practically on top of it. While her Harem, and Stupid Fuzzbutt's secrets would occupy the main defense, here Brian and his secrets would protect the villagers. She saw the deep trenches with their firing step. Are they already done? she asked herself as she proceeded to the dugout that would hold the villagers. Her three and the rest of the secrets were there, playing cards, inspecting or just brainstorming. In the corner, Blackberry and Gennie were teaching their Nurse Joy some basic fighting. Slips of paper with various chores written on them festooned the table, the pot and the player's reserves.

      "Too bad you're so insular," Flopsie said, "We could have put Taming privileges in the pot to spice things up. What about a landslide?"

      "Not enough high land to slide, and that sandbar would anchor them against it," Happy replied as she examined her cards.

      "You're playing cards against a Telepath," Angie pointed out.

      "I thought PsiDykes were telekinetics," Jodie complained.

      "Some are telepaths too," Flopsie said, "But I don't cheat at cards."

      "Unless Taming privileges were on the table," Angie replied, and the PsiDyke shrugged, "What I'd really like is you Taming him, or your girls. He's actually not bad. Not many normal, whole Tamers would be willing to use a strap on, or care about using it correctly."

      Angie squirmed a little at that. "Why not use what he's already got?"

      "Look, I don't mind him sticking it in my mouth, I can always dream about biting it off. But I don't see the attraction of the taste. So I'm not gonna let him stick it somewhere I can't gargle. Besides, a strap-on feels different, and it stays hard."

      Angie shook her head at that, but looked over the page of potential ideas. "Why'd you cross off 'Burmese Tiger Trap'?"

      "Got no place to sell a Burmese Tiger," Blackberry told her as she picked up and looked over the list. When she noted how quiet it had gotten she looked around. "Come on, with this crowd, you know that's what were gonna catch." She walked over and resumed teaching.

      "It made sense," Jodie offered worriedly, "I think we've been hanging around these people too long."

      Angie left them to relax, their assigned work done. If they finished, they deserve a break, she thought as she walked back towards the village. She found the last of the team exactly where she suspected, surrounded by woman. A couple were under eight, and the rest were over forty. Brian and the kids were repairing the nets, while the grandparents were braiding the conductive net that would serve as the basis of one of the traps. He waved and shot her a pleading look. You're keeping the kids out of our hair, she wanted to tell him, That's service enough. But in a village this size, there should be more. They're right, this place is dying. So what are the pirates interested in? The March Hare says there's no great treasure around here, and I can't believe that they're holding a hostage the pirates would be after. Maybe it is just a grudge match. Or two groups just going through the last death throes together. Well, we'll administer the sedan de grace, and drop a truck on them. Good Lord, I've been hanging around them too long!

      She continued to survey the defenses. Even right now, they're adequate. They'll get better in a few days, as we think about them. But how much time will we have for that? She headed back to the woods, and saw that Hazel and Stupid Fuzzbutt had another frothing at the mouth pirate tied to a tree.

      Lunch, she thought as she headed to the makeshift canteen.

------------------------------

      It is a dark and stormy night, when the pirate ship appears, practically on top of the village.

      In the slit trenches, the Megami-Sama looks across the darkness at their target. "In their haste to steal a march, they have doomed themselves," she intones as the image of the ship hovering over her hand vanishes. The need for it ended.

      "Yep, if they stole you, it would doom them," Gennie said as the medium-sized ship crashed headlong into the sandbar, "Noisy!"

      "If they were expecting to do a high-speed pass on the village, then luff the sails for landing, I think they'll be disappointed," Easter adds, "Too bad."

      "Places," he orders, and the group disperses to await the pirates' reaction. The Pokègirls who'd been thrown from the ship had one more surprise. Electricity from the buried conductive net plays through them. Hidden launchers behind them release Pokèballs by the dozens. Most who'd fallen are captured, and the rest aboard ship and ashore fire their preprepared fusillade in the wrong direction.

      "Easter, get those balls, but don't be seen," he orders, "Let them wonder."

      "Unseen I do best," she replies as she disappears.

------------------------------

      "We got their captain," Bigwig said as she peered through the IR binoculars. The rest of the crew dithered aboard ship. "They can't retreat, and they have to clear the 'minefield' before they can advance."

      One or two jumped down from the ship.

      "They're either immune, or Hazel turned off the juice," Angie commented as she watched through her own multi-optic headset.

      "She knows enough not to give up our trick for two or three electric-types," Bigwig replied, "Insane, vicious, warped, yes; but stupid, no."

      The scouts located all the Pokèballs they could, but found them all empty.

      "BOOM, Gennie and Easter must have collected all the others," Bigwig said.

      "Probably while the crew was trying to reorient themselves," Angie agreed, "I knew they'd do something like that, but I never saw them."

      "Darkness and rain work both ways," Bigwig said. "DOWN!" she hissed, as several shots sailed over them and crashed into the village. "Somebody's having a temper tantrum."

      The village remained dark, as if the villagers were still sleeping through the attack. A Brass jumped from the ship and stalked towards the village.

      "Let Bugs and Thumper take her out, quietly," Bigwig suggested.

      Mopsie nodded and used a hooded lantern to signal the flank guards.

      "I can't believe we're following a Jokette's battle plan," Bigwig admitted.

      "You couldn't find any flaws in it," Angie said, "Nor could I."

      "That's what worries me."

      The Brass ignored the tall stakes driven into the ground. The lightning drew closer, and the rain intensified, both illuminating and shielding the deception. The stakes ignored the lone girl.

      "It would be just our luck to have lightning hit that ship, or the stakes," Bigwig said and frowned, "Not that we'd lose, but it would add the chaotic element that is always missing from our battles."

      "Don't trust things until they go kaflewie?" Angie teased.

      "A Bunnygirl who can take down a Seraph and a Demon-Goddess based on a snide comment from her Master? The same Master who Recognizes a near Penanced Jokette, and brings along a loopy near Legendary in a peasant skirt? If we were crooks, we'd be Team Kaflewie, and not the Navy, the PLC nor the SLIS could stop us. Although after stealing the world's entire supply of vomit-flavored jellybeans, I doubt they'd want to."

      "First house," Angie brought her back to the subject at hand, "Yeah, that's subtle, tear the door off its hinges, and what do you know, no one's inside." She watched the Brass check out two more houses the same way, then the pirate signaled the crew.

      "Must mean 'nobody's home'," Bigwig reasoned as the Brass went back to searching, when none of the crew deigned to join her.

      A particularly close and loud flash of lightning blinded everyone, and the thunder that followed pressed everyone down.

      "That was close," Mopsie said, then reported, "They took her down. Hazel and Easter attracted the lightning, and you're welcome."

      "I hope they're okay," Angie said, "Hmm, they aren't reacting. I guess we wait." Angie watched the crew anxiously awaiting their crewmate.

------------------------------

      Hazel is grinning like a Jokette as we wait.

      Well that answers that, he thought as he cataloged the last of the girls they'd captured, Even with the cop getting the top third 'for questioning', we're way ahead on the deal.

      "I expected her to be more impatient," Easter says as she glances as Hazel, "She seems almost . . . serene."

      "There's a beauty to watching the joke unfold. To appreciate the hard work revealing itself," he tells her.

      "Is that you, or her?" the Nidogg asks.

      "My interpretation, her poetry," he replies, "She can enjoy the next act unfolding." He moved off to check on Holly and the civilians in the heavily reinforced dugout.

      "When do I get to fight?" Blackberry asks as he passes her guard post.

      Hopefully never, he doesn't tell the villagers' guard.

      "When we've got them contained aboard ship. Hazel will want everyone for the storming party," he tells her.

      The Lovedove gives a half smile.

      He steps inside and locates the Nurse Joy amid all the frightened expressions of the villagers. You don't deserve to be rescued from your own bad attitudes, he thinks of them, But if I can keep Hazel and The March Hare, I will put up with you.

      "Everyone okay?" he asks when he'd gotten her away from the Nervous Nellies.

      "At the moment," she admits, "They'll start being a problem when the shooting starts."

      "It should be well away from them," he assures her, gives her a peck on the cheek and heads back to his post. "Any change?" he asks Hazel.

      "The electric-types searched for the mines, but missed the net that carries the charge. We should be able to zap the crew when they land," Hazel assures him.

      "You're enjoying this," he says, "Good, I am too."

      She grins. "One good lightning bolt to fire the ship, and we'll have them."

      "Or attract the answering bolt yourself," he replies, and glances at the storm still raging overhead, "You and Easter got lucky. Their other electric-type must be working overtime to keep their grounded ship from taking a bolt or two. Better to have them hide aboard. Then they're trapped and contained. Our cop friend won't like having them running loose. Untidy paperwork if that happens," he warns her.

      "Oh, well, yes, untidy paperwork," Hazel agrees solemnly, "Can't have that. Ah, here they come!"

      "The landing party is twenty-five, out of the forty on board," The March Hare pronounces, "And some of those fifteen are prisoners . . . or most are."

      "End run?" Hazel asks.

      "Why do I think this is going too easy? Let them get tangled up in the minefield," he counsels as the pirates approach the tall pillars. "NOW!"

      The 'landmines' Hazel and Fuzzbutt had prepared are released en masse, and attacked whoever is nearest.

      "Twenty-three temporarily insane Pokègirls, against twenty-five," he gleefully exults, then the other redoubt fired into the seething mass. "Okay Hazel, end run, take everybody you need aboard ship. Prisoners if practicable. The captives I want alive," he orders.

      "Okie dookie," she says and salutes, "You save'em, I rave'em."

      "Acceptable," The March Hare replies as she and the others head towards the ship.

      He looks through the special binocs. Why do I keep expecting another ship to pop up? MH said there was only the one, and the next ship should be the Navy. He scans the battlefield and the sea again for hidden enemies. All I see is Gennie, BOOM and The March Hare sweeping out to board the seaward side of the ship, while Flopsie, Hazel and Easter take the landward.

      The light of capture beams, and the occasional flash of lightning illuminate the scene, but not long enough to eliminate the confusion.

      A powerful flare rose high above. Giving steady light to the battlefield.

      "Go!" he whispers his urges for the rest of the team storming forward to support the forces he'd sent. "Angie and Bigwig take the rest of the force in to deal with the shipboard forces," he says to himself, "After dealing with the ground pounders." He sighs and looks around again. "This is going too well . . . Ack! That's where Blackberry is! Holly and the Nellies!" he hurries back to the dugout to keep the villagers from helping.

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      Hazel ducks around the corner and shoves BOOM out of the way. The massive lightning bolt misses both of them, but sets the bulkhead afire.

      "So much for not bringing the place down around our ears," Hazel grumps.

      "Boom?" the G-Splice asks quietly.

      "Tempting, but we'd never hear the end of it from The March Hare," Hazel says, and sighs when she checks the wind, "Time for plan M." Hazel bends over and pulls her suit aside. "Hey Lightning Bug! Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?" she shouts as her chalk-white ass glows faintly.

      "No tricks! Release me or the hostages . . . !"

      The sound of a bagpipe birthing a full-grown tuba shook the ship. The flames caused by the lightning flickered blue, before going out completely. Likewise every torch and lamp in the corridor flickered and died.

      "Boom!" the G-Splice complains vociferously.

      "Unless she has life support, that's it for her," she retorts as she and Boom crept forward.

      They met General Woundwort and Bugs, standing over a scantily-clad Pokègirl, and several cells full of unconscious people.

      "When I smelt it," the Battle formed Wolf Queen says, "We decided a pincer attack was warranted."

      "Help us carry the captives to cleaner air," the Seraph demands.

      "It was that or a firefight." Hazel gestures at the locked cells. "How do we -?"

      Woundwort and Bugs ripping the cell doors out of the frames answers the question.

      "Well, Master didn't want them hurt . . . MASTER!!" Hazel bolts towards the ladder.

      "Go!" Bugs orders the other two, who race after her.

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      Angie watched the almost comically easy mop up. The full force of Brian and Fuzzbutt's Harem sections was enough to cow the remainder of the beaten pirates into surrender. The supply of Pokèballs did the rest.

      "Don't get too confident," Bigwig warned her, "Part of it is they haven't seen their leader, the Dark Lady. The other, lesser part was the display of overwhelming firepower. They get their feet under them, and get an explanation that their leader is dead, and they'll coalesce around another leader."

      Angie nodded, then spotted Hazel running across the beach screaming incoherently at the top of her lungs. Woundwort and BOOM pursuing closely moved it out of the joke realm.

      "Stay with them Jodie!" Angie called as she broke into a dead run. She ran, and closed on the Jokette. Happy easily flew ahead and picked up the Pokègirl, taking her where she directed. Thumper and Sam picked up Angie and raced after Happy.

      At the dugout where the civilians had been hidden, they found Blackberry. The Lovedove looked asleep, except for the pool of blood staining the packed earth beneath her.

      "Come on!" Thumper urged as they plunged into the saferoom. Hazel was standing over Holly. The Nurse Joy was whispering apologies, as she tried to heal the terrible injuries someone had inflicted on her.

      Hazel turned and stared at Angie. "Where are they officer?" she asked politely with a terrifying and eerie calm, "Where are all those people you dragged us out here to protect? Where are their worthless hides? So I can nail each and every one of them to the will." The Jokette began trembling with rage, while her voice stayed seeming calm and conversational, "He's not here, so I can only hope he's still alive. But I can't feel him anymore. Do you have any idea what that's like?"

      She might as well be talking about the rain, except she's shaking like a leaf. Don't ask 'What happened?' Angie warned herself, moving very slowly and carefully to see what she could of the evidence their entry had disturbed, It will only set her off. Someone's kidnaped Brian, and shielded him. There's only a few people I know who could do that. Now she can't feel him. So I've got an unfettered Jokette on my hands.

      She glanced at Thumper, General Woundwort, and BOOM, and realized, And I don't know who they'll side with in a fight.

      "I'm not going to strike you or your girls, officer," Hazel whispered, "I am going to destroy you, and your bosses. Only the League has the resources to pull this off. And I'm going to make sure everyone knows what you people did here," Hazel hissed, "I am going to make sure everyone with a high-level girl knows that any SLIS or Legion request for help, is a trap so the League can seize those high-level girls. The next all-hands call, all you'll get are newbies. The powerful Harem Masters will know it's a trap."

      She means it, and even if it only hits a few places . . . just one Widow or Mantis call out, and . . . Angie thought, What were they thinking?

      Hazel smiled. "So I don't have to strike you, officer."

      The punch that broke her jaw and sent her sprawling came not from Hazel.

      "I AM going to kill you! You rotten bitch!" Stupid Fuzzbutt raged as Thumper and General Woundwort pulled her away from Angie. The Bunnygirl kicked at Angie and tried to squirm out of their grasp. "You KNEW this village was fake, the clues were all over the place, Lady Detective Officer! And you think we didn't see?! I knew only the pirates were real, but I thought this was some test for Hazel," the maddened Bunnygirl screamed as she struggled against the two much more powerful girls, "Only I was stupid enough to trust you! I should have known you were going to kidnap my Master! All the time you spent with him, all the time you spent trying to be friends with us!" Stupid Fuzzbutt was literally foaming at the mouth as she twisted and struggled to land another blow on Angie. "Are you going to kidnap every Master of every powerful Harem to blackmail their girls into surrender to you?!"

      The red capture light of Sam's police-grade Master Ball enveloped the Bunnygirl. Stupid Fuzzbutt shrugged it off.

      "I'm not going anywhere until I've skinned you alive!" the Bunnygirl screamed as the two powerhouses managed to wrestle her to the ground.

      "Get her out of here!" Bigwig roared as she arrived and overheard the accusations.

      Sam and Happy carried Angie away. The screams and shrieks of the outraged Bunnygirl pursued them into the storm for more than a hundred yards.

      "This is not going to end well," Happy said.

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      Neither the darkness nor the beating had bothered him. His dad used to do this to him all the time, beat him then lock him in the basement. Nobody seemed to care, I wonder if that's why I grew into such a happy person, he wondered as he searched his mind for the link with Hazel. The lack felt like a missing tooth, still bloody from the extraction. To a lesser extent he felt the 'missingness' of the other girls too. Never happy with what you've got until it's gone. What a time to figure that out.

      The Domina entered, along with the PsiDyke. He filled his head with all the experiments he'd done with Flopsie, often on the other girls, sometimes on her, and how much they'd all enjoyed it. The PsiDyke turned about three shades of purple before throwing up. Then he realized how much he missed his PsiDyke's affectionate hostility, and the other PsiDyke went through dry heaves that almost looked like convulsions.

      The Domina stared at her partner in stunned confusion. The Domina whipped the PsiDyke once, and when that failed to get any reaction, she dragged her partner out and closed the door.

      He almost smiled at the sound of furniture being piled against the door. The March Hare could teach you a thing or two about cruelty, he thought and tried to go back to sleep.

------------------------------

      A fully trained up and prepared Police Officer getting her ass kicked by a Bunnygirl is actually less humiliating than it would seem. What bothered me is the way every healer would look at my injuries, and say 'there's nothing I can do' and proceed to the next case. Did Hazel mark me some way, or did The March Hare? Angie wondered as she woke from the pain of having her jaw broken and reset. The mage who'd done it seemed to want her out of his office as quickly as possible. Normally guys want to chat up the pretty girl, this guy looks like he wants to go boil whatever part of him touched me.

      She let Jodie lead her out of the office, to where Sam and Happy waited.

      "Bad news boss. They were right, it is the SLIS," Happy said, not looking at all happy, "Seems they need some bait to get some higher ups, and a shmuck able to bond a Jokette is exactly the guy they needed."

      "Hi - ow."

      "Don't try to talk," Jodie warned, unnecessarily.

      "We're off the case, and headed for a liaison op in the Noir League," Sam told her, "Our tickets and we've got an escort." She glanced at the two very nervous rookies who didn't know what to expect, and it showed on their faces.

      "We haven't been able to find them, so we can't tell them anything," Happy told her, "Even if we were allowed to."

      "Crap," Angie mumbled as she let the girls lead her to the waiting car.

      I've got a Megami-Sama and a Jokette convinced that I set them up, Angie thought, If the higher-ups wanted to keep a death-threat hanging over my head, they could hardly have come up with a better way. Damn Special Crimes division and their games. The only thing I could do for them is not report who injured me.

      The door closed and we were off the case and out of their lives. Whoever is going to try to follow up on this is going to have an incredible headache. Maybe nobody is.

------------------------------

      Holly walked out onto the patio behind the Ox Nads Pokècenter. She approached Hazel, and considered the extensive makeup disguising the girl. "I'm sorry, I know -"

      "Nurse, you couldn't possibly know what I'm going through right now," Hazel growled, "You have no clue how a Jokette sees the world. Sees past all the little kindnesses and courtesies. Did you know that the rules of etiquette were invented to keep people from knifing each other at the dinner table? That half of being polite is just groveling so you can get something, even if that something is a little peace and quiet?"

      Hazel stared at her and continued, "I know all this. I knew it the instant I evolved. I knew the world was all lies and deception layered on top of each other so we don't have to worry about killing each other above replacement rates. Jokettes refuse to play that game, and it gets lonely. Terribly, terribly lonely. So you punctuate your inevitable march to the grave with a bit of fun, and to teach others the futility of it all."

      "But Brian . . . ?"

      The Jokette's expression softened. "Brian showed me that someone could understand all that. And someone could be an exception to the rule. That maybe in this universe, everybody has one person they can have faith in and count on. Maybe he's got someone like that idiot rabbit who's either too stupid to realize, or madder than we think, and maybe all the lies are more true than false for our little group." Hazel stood, and staggered. She steadied herself and stared at Holly. "But someone ripped that away from me. Tore the one shaft of light into a very, very dark hole. And now, I'm not just a Pokègirl without a Master. I'm a menace without a control. I feel the world slipping away from me, and I stop caring about the pleasant lies and see only the ugly truth."

      Holly stepped towards the Jokette, and laid a hand on her shoulder. When the Jokette grimaced at her, Holly only smiled wider.

      "I could kill you, and your idiotic pack of concerns. But I won't. Today. Tomorrow, maybe. So now you'll have to think about killing me. And all the politeness stops being because we advance each other's goals, or keep the darkness away, but because you have to be close enough to strike," Hazel told her, "That's what I'm going through, Nurse Joy, the caring Pokègirl. And if you are lucky, you haven't the faintest idea what that's really like."

      Holly bowed her head. "No Nurse Joy is that lucky. Yes, I was planning something. But not murder," she said as she caressed the Jokette's face, and pulled a small bundle from her skirt pocket. She put the bundle in the Jokette's hands and close her hands over it. "Revenge, but not on you. I do care. It's instinctive and automatic. Like what you saw. I saw it too: a world of suffering, frightened people. And my place was between them and total despair." She stared back at Hazel, and the Jokette shifted uncomfortably. "People come to us, broken in body and soul, with friends, teammates and Masters. And always with the same expectation, that a Nurse Joy can make it right, a Nurse Joy can make it better, or failing that, a Nurse Joy can make their death less of a trial. I have stood alone on the bridge and fought despair until my strength was spent, my fingers bled and my own soul cried out for release. Not I or any of my breed will give up until we're beaten and dragged from the field. You may come tomorrow, with murder in mind. And tomorrow, and the next day, I will see it as a howl of agony, a cry of despair. And I will fight it. With you, or in your despite, but I will win you one more day among the living. That is who I am."

      Hazel nodded. "It seems I know less than I thought."

      "Don't judge me too lightly. I will cut healthy tissue to save a life, and that is what I'm doing now. Two Angel Stones are for sale in that Tamer's Supply. I think you know what that bundle of money means."

      Hazel considered, then handed the money back. "If who I am is going to die. I shall do it my way, affirming my life and love." Hazel walked off the edge of the patio, and spotted Stupid Fuzzbutt. The Jokette headed straight at the Bunnygirl with an unpleasant gleam in her eye.

------------------------------

      The Bunnygirl considers her fate, and the unfairness of the world. Why'd he hide so many girls from me? she wonders, Why did I hide those girls from him? Because I knew he'd be cranky, but did he think I . . . did he not want to hurt my feelings, or he couldn't be bothered?

      "Thinking about your screw-up, rabbit?" Hazel asks offhandedly.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt reacts as if slapped. "Huh? I didn't lose him."

      " 'I didn't lose him' you sure as Hell didn't try to keep him!" Hazel says as she grabs the Bunnygirl's arm, "What was the idea of leaving him without more guards? What was the idea of keeping all your power players hidden so he couldn't use them? What was the idea of not assigning any to keep an eye on him?"

      Stupid Fuzzbutt shakes her head, trying to weather the assault that too closely matches her own ponderings. "I did what I could! If we'd had more time - "

      "You don't get more time! You talk about how you care about him but you - "

      "I DO CARE ABOUT HIM AND DON'T YOU DARE THINK DIFFERENT!" she shouts at Hazel.

      "BUT you didn't care enough to risk him being angry with him!" the Jokette shot back, "You were more worried about your feelings than his safety!"

      "I wasn't!"

      "You let them take him because if you told him about all the others, 'he'd be cranky'," Hazel shouts at her, "Well better cranky than kidnaped! You don't care, you just care about yourself! Alpha! Ha! You were never the Alpha! We did what we wanted and laughed about you! He kept you around out of pity! You embarrassed him!"

      "No, he loved me!"

      "Like a crippled, used up old pet maybe! You never showed him you were anything else!" Hazel tells her, "You were afraid if he thought you weren't completely useless, he'd sell you!"

      "He wouldn't sell me," she whimpers, tears forming, "He loved -"

      "HA! 'Loved', now you prove you wish he was dead," Hazel shouts, "You wanted to get away from him. You never wanted him. You wanted to let him suffer and die, alone and unloved."

      "NO!" the Bunnygirl wails.

      "Then why aren't you looking for him!? You claim you can always find him, but we're hiding here! Are you waiting for your real Tamer to pick you up? Are you waiting to sell off the rest of us? Was that the deal you made?"

      "I'd never! I care about you, I meant loves, I haven't figured out how to find him yet, I'm not just stupid! I'm good at oral sex! He thinks my tail is cute! I can so cook instant soup! He thinks I'm a good Alpha! You do not love him more than I do! I can so be a good leader! I'm smart enough to -"

      The Bunnygirl went rigid as she begins to glow. Ears and feet receded, and legs change towards the human norm.

      The punch flattens the grinning Jokette, who takes the blow with good humor as she climbs to her feet.

      "Hazel, I know your way, but that is among the most despicable things - "

      "Come on," Hazel grabs her hand and drags her after, "I'm not through being despicable yet."

      "I'd like to point out that I don't have any clothes," the newly evolved Ingenue tells Hazel.

      "We'll take care of that," Hazel says as she drags the naked girl into the Tamer's Outpost. The appreciative glances from the clerk are less welcome.

      Hazel picks a Steel Coat off a rack and heads to the heavily-reinforced evolution stone counter. The clerk heads over, trying to get a few better looks at the naked girl Hazel is dragging by the hand.

      "Those evolution stones, the Angel stones," Hazel says as she pulls the Ingenue to the counter, "They seem pretty reasonable."

      "Yeah," the clerk says, "But they're top-rate stones. We've got a supplier up in the Darwin area."

      "Both for the price of reporting a Jokette," Hazel says, grabs his shirt and uses it to wipe the make up from her face, "Be a good boy and go collect your reward."

      The screech from the clerk adds to the surreal evacuation as Hazel fires fire, ice and other attacks to hurry the few other patrons along. Incidently taking out all the surveillance cameras.

      "You should have had him unlock the case first," Stupid Fuzzbutt says as she pulls the Steel Coat over her nakedness.

      The blow shatters both the armored glass and the bones in Hazel's hands. "You first," Hazel tells her, "Then . . . me."

      "I know what this is costing - "

      "Will you just do it already?!" Hazel screeches at her.

      "Sorry," she reaches for the stone, "Now he'll be really cranky."

      "No, he won't," Hazel says as reaches for the other.

------------------------------

Stupid Fuzzbutt - 'Cute' Knight
Flopsie - PsiDyke
Hazel - Angel
Bigwig - Xerablondi
The March Hare - Megami-Sama
Captain Campion - Officer Jenny
Holly - Nurse Joy
Mopsie - MaryAnn Drews
Cottontail - MaryAnn Drews
Bugs - Seraph
Thumper - Demon-Goddess
Gennie / General Woundwort - Chibi Wolf Queen
BOOM - G-Splice (effectively Charred Battle Battle Angel {Fire-type})
Easter - Blessed Nidogg

      The Angel in the soft, white robes, and the Battle Angel in the fancy dress armor walks out of the Tamer's Outpost. "Don't worry," the Angel calls to the assembling collection of police, and combat Pokègirls, "The Jokette is gone, and will never return."

      Concealed by the cheers of the crowd, Stupid Fuzzbutt whispers to Hazel, "So you can bend the truth."

      "Point out what was untrue," Hazel replied as she and the Battle Angel walk back to the Pokècenter. Their friends close in around them to prevent unwanted questions.

------------------------------

      "So you did it," the Seraph says, glances nervously around the private room in the Pokècenter, "Any ill effects?"

      "A Seraph, a Megami-Sama and an Angel walk into a police station looking for their Tamer. Who's going to suspect them?" Hazel replied.

      "If she didn't occasionally yank on those two thigh-length ponytails, I wouldn't know who she is," Bigwig comments on Stupid Fuzzbutt's new appearance.

      "How would he recognize me any other way?" the Battle Angel asks, "But I think . . . I can sense where he is. Sort of."

      "That is better news that I've been able to wring from the Cosmic Awareness," The March Hare says, "He is as shielded as anything I have sought."

      "I hate to be the party pooper," Cottontail says, "But what about Blackberry?"

      "Dead is dead, little one," Hazel says and holds the MaryAnn Drews in her arms, "Even the Legendaries fear it."

      "It's not fair," the girl whimpers, "What did she do that was so horrible?"

      "She was in their way," Hazel replies, "That was all. The Universe doesn't always play nice. Nor do bad people."

      "We can hold a memorial, after we get Master back," Stupid Fuzzbutt says, "Now that's weird."

      "What?" Flopsie asks, "There's lots of weird going on in there."

      "Ha," the former Bunnygirl says, "It used to be that ideas would flit through my head almost too fast to catch. Now they line up in good order and usable. It's a weird feeling. But I can't control how they line up. I'm still just an observer, almost."

      "So how do you find him?" Hazel asks, earning a grin from Stupid Fuzzbutt.

      "I need a map, and some darts."

------------------------------

      "This can't possibly work," Bigwig whispers as Hazel spins the blindfolded Battle Angel around, and gets her pointed at the map taped to a tree.

      "From the Bunnygirl who defeated, or rather Tamed to exhaustion a Demon-Goddess and a Seraph?" Holly comments as the first the three darts flies. It hit the tree and comes back at them. Bigwig grabs and holds Holly. The dart sticks in her hat.

      "Good point," Bigwig comments.

      "Very funny," Holly replies, as she removes the insult to her hat. The next dart lands in the ocean, and the third on the coast of Johto, "Johto it is."

      "I don't think so," Bigwig says as she approaches the map, stepping over the stunned Battle Angel as she does.

      "Spinny," the girl says.

      "Now you know how you used to be," Hazel tells her.

      "If you didn't out number me five to one, I'd hit you!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shakes her fist in the air.

      "Hit the one in the middle," Bigwig comments as she leans over to stare at the map.

      "That comment, and that posture just are asking for a kick," Hazel says.

      "I thought you didn't do that any more," Holly says.

      "I don't do it, but I still think it," Hazel replies.

      "Otherwise, how are you doing?" the Nurse Joy asks.

      "The white doesn't suit me, and I think God is either the most manipulative bastard in creation, or a genius beyond all human comprehension."

      "Try both," Bugs tells her as she moves up to look at the pair of locations, "A conventional force would split up and scout out both of them."

      "We are not conventional," The March Hare intones.

      "Right," Hazel explains, "I think we catch whoever masterminded this attack, and we give him every opportunity to tell us what we want to know. Before we slit his belly and read his entrails to see if he was lying."

      "This is how an Angel acts?" Easter asks, "If I'd known that, I wouldn't have avoided the holy stone."

      "It's not as cut and dried as that," Hazel admits, "I know it will be wrong to slice him into little pieces for the harm he's done us. And doing is slowly, so he can scream and beg forgiveness, and . . . is even more wrong."

      "Then allow me to enlighten all of you how Seraphs think, rather than Megami," Bugs offers.

      "That shall be an education," The March Hare replies, "I have never seen this before."

      Bugs blew a raspberry at her.

------------------------------

      "Major Barton Reed thought himself invulnerable in the Special Crime Division," the voice intoned, "Tonight, what have the ghosts of crimes past, crimes present, and crimes future to say about - "

      "SHADDUP!" he shouted in a drunken rage and threw the phone across the empty apartment. It landed and opened. The light illuminating only the many empty bottles that festooned the floor of his apartment. He looked at the mess and decided to leave the phone where it was. "How the Hell did the Navy figure out I snatched that Tamer? They acted like I actually let that Jokette loose in their pet city. Ox Nads, only the Navy would willingly choose a pit like this. But I'm getting out."

      "You certainly are!" Powerful hands clamped on his throat and dragged him out of bed, and away from his sidearm. The furious, winged blonde told him as she held him off the ground. "Does anyone know, where the love of God goes, when your fate turns the minutes, to hours?"

      "You can't touch me! I'm a cop!" he squealed as he pried helplessly at her fingers.

      "And I'm an Angel," the girl told him and smiled sweetly. A smile that ran chills down his spine. "I'll tell them I tried to keep you from jumping out the window, or at least to put some clothes on first, so not to scare the little ones. And you know what? They'll all believe me. Isn't that nice?"

      The last vestiges of his drunkenness evaporated as he stared into those cold, blue eyes.

      "Now, I would never expect you to divulge why you're helping those people out on the island," she said, "The blue code and all. Personal honor, even among thieves."

      He paled at her accusation.

      "So, I'm going to rip out your entrails to read them to get the answers, then throw your bloated carcass out the window."

      He screamed at the sharp nails digging into his belly.

      He rolled over in bed and looked at the blood stains on the sheet. He pulled the sheet away and saw the bottle he'd rolled over and broken. "I'm never gonna live this down," he said as he stepped down, onto another bottle and fell, lacerating his back on the glass still in his bed. He eventually crawled to the bathroom to clean himself up.

------------------------------

      "That's four for four," Bugs said as they stood on a building top some distance from their targets' rooms, "The first hit with the island, and all the others reacted the same way."

      "The positioning of the bottles was quite artful," Holly said, "They'll never get the smell of blood out of their mattresses."

      "Intentionally," General Woundwort said, "I'm glad I could add my special touch."

      "I'm afraid it may be too late," Bigwig said, and a moment later the sound of a breaking window could be heard.

      "I didn't mean for that to happen," Holly said as she realized the implications.

      "We did," Hazel replied calmly, "And we approved. The Navy probably took out the entire team. The only question now is, did the Admiral or General who ordered it have anything to do with the 'sting' the SLIS was setting up?"

      "You knew this was going to happen?" Holly asked, tears beginning to form.

      "I know either the Navy would do it, or the rest of the Harem," Hazel replied, "Better the Navy did it."

      "And you just let it happen?" Holly asked.

      "Would you rather it be blamed on us?" The March Hare asked, "Would you rather be looking over your shoulder, forever?"

      "Get ready," Hazel said, and they vanished, reappearing at the rendezvous point several miles out of town. Campion seemed as stricken as Holly.

      "It was murder!" Campion complained to Stupid Fuzzbutt.

      "Yes it was," the Battle Angel replied impassively, "Better it was not us, and not one of us. They killed Blackberry, and nearly killed Holly. Because two mere Pokègirls were in their way." She whirled on and confronted the Officer Jenny, "I will shed no tears that they died as they lived. They kill to get something out of the way, and someone had them killed to get them out of the way."

      "It's not right," Campion complained.

      "None of this is right," The March Hare consoled the pair, "Not stealing our Master, not whatever someone is doing that gave them the idea to steal our Master. Not the murders done against us, or the murder of those who so grievously wronged us." Her tone grew hard, "But you see only the Law, that great fundament that is the reason why Justice cannot be swift."

      "There's such a thing as due process!" Campion shouted.

      "There is such a thing as politics over reason," Stupid Fuzzbutt retorted, "If they are too powerful to deal with by having a cop walk up and arrest them, then they should expect the more powerful to descend on them with the same force. That island is not in League territory."

      "So Voltaire's Law applies," Bugs said.

      " 'Voltaire's Law'?" Thumper asked, "Our resident legal expert may know. Nut, what's that?"

      " 'God is on the side with the Heavy Battalions'," Stupid Fuzzbutt said darkly, then looked around at the stunned expressions, "Just because I couldn't think clearly, doesn't mean I couldn't remember."

------------------------------

      Seeing the PsiDyke again is unexpected, he thinks, Seeing her alone and nervous, that's going to take some getting used to.

      "All that stuff you filled your head with. The truth, or just to squick me out?"

      "It was both. My Bunnygirl captured a PsiDyke and forced her to submit. I didn't want her killing me in my sleep, so we compromised."

      "Then I want your help," she says as she releases me from the frame I'd been bound to, "And I need you to be quiet, and . . . can you walk like I just kicked you in the nuts . . . repeatedly?"

      My luck's holding, and running typical to form, good and bad, I think, and catch her grin.

      "For real, or like in the vids?"

      "Real, they'll know."

      "It may surprise you that I'm out of practice, but I still think I know how it works," I tell her as I try to stand. She helps hold me up, not as a friend, but as a fragile tool she desperately needs.

      "Your Jokette is alive, but it is death to leave the house. It's all shielded and the guard knows anyone outside must have an escort, or be an escort," she spits the last word, "The club wants none of their activity traced. And you're to be the star attraction."

      "And they aren't monitoring this conversation?" I ask.

      "Certain rooms are provided privacy systems," she tells me, "This is one of them. They have a Jokette, alive and under lock and key. Like I said, you're the star attraction."

      Hidden behind layers of fog, Tamings, and Stupid Fuzzbutt's profundities, I think, Yeah, I beat one Jokette maybe I can beat another. And if I don't . . . what happens then?

      "I want to spoil the rest of the evening's entertainment," she tells me frankly.

      The hunched-over, pained-expression walk, and her grip on my collar, convinces all the inside guards that we should be allowed to pass. No one challenges us. At the far side of the maze-like house, another heavy door, but this one opens into a cellblock. A nearly full to bursting cellblock.

      Ingenues? Damsels? They can't be Megami, or Bimbos, I think, then come to the horrifying conclusion, They're all humans. Some appear 'barely-legal', but what would that nicety matter to these folks? They're the 'rest of the evening's entertainment.'

      "You shouldn't have come!" One of the girls throws herself at the cell door, straining to reach an arm out to touch the PsiDyke. "They're already starting to suspect."

      Not such virgin sacrifices as they think, I consider, I've heard of trafficking in Purelines, but I thought it was just myths.

      "It's real," the PsiDyke tells me, "Some Leagues have ranches that turn out Purelines, and those are bred to the elites to make more. Some aren't fertile, so, they are - "

      "Farmed out," I say, "I get the underlying principle. Horrifying, but understandable. And I thought Pokègirls would end human slavery."

      "Then you are naive," the PsiDyke tells me as she briefly accepts the girl's hand clasp, she breaks off and leads me past the other girls.

      Most of them are staring at me, I think, Great, a harem of old, but what the heck am I supposed to do?

      The PsiDyke leads him past several more empty cells, and through another door. This one has a thick rubber gasket to weatherseal it. The creature within the cell stirs as she senses others.

      She reminds me nothing of Hazel, he thinks, Or The March Hare.

      "The main event," the PsiDyke says, as she conspicuously keeps her distance from him, and the creature in the cell.

      "So you can Tame Jokettes?" The figure laughs.

      She has tattooed, and cut herself, I think as I look her over, Only the manic grin seems that same as Hazel. I wonder if she tore herself up that way before or after her evolution. Or if these people did it to her.

      "I know enough to know you tried to kill yourself, and that you weren't doing it right, maybe on purpose," I tell her, and ignore the PsiDyke's gasp as I continue, "So how about you come over here, and I put you out of your misery?" Both the PsiDyke and the Jokette gasp at that. "You're their slave, and you do their bidding. The world's a joke and you just gave up, to be its punchline, pathetic."

      The Jokette snarls and throws herself at the bars. I'm just out of reach. "I'll kill you!"

      "Good. Give them what they want. Do as you're told. Don't think of revenge, just think about what's in front of you. I've got a Bunnygirl who's just that way."

      The Jokette subsides, but her fury remains.

      "Don't you remember part of your creed is to do something funny? Or have you forgotten that?" I ask, "Is being funny, being artful, of no importance?"

      "Keep talking boy. I'm listening," she growls and her knuckles whiten as they grip the bars.

      And planning to rip my guts out, I translate, Once she can get her hands on me.

      "If I can get my girls here, that would be very amusing. But I can't. Maybe you can't. But someone can. Someone who wants to rescue her friends, and just needs a distraction."

      The PsiDyke shook, speaking in low tones, "It'll have to be a Hell of a diversion."

      "I can be very diverting, when I have my powers."

      "Will she be unleashed for the entertainment?" I ask.

      "Yes," the PsiDyke says, "But all the dignitaries will be shielded."

      "That's not a problem," I reply, "Here's what we're gonna do."

------------------------------

      Campion walked out of the Navy headquarters, and into the collection of excited Pokègirls.

      "WELL!?!" Stupid Fuzzbutt almost shook the other girl.

      "It's unclaimed territory, and the Navy hasn't been able to move against it, by orders from higher up. But those higher ups don't seem to be in."

      "So they're on that island," Thumper breathed.

      "No, they're on our island!" Flopsie said, "It's unclaimed which means someone is buying or scaring off all the other claimants. There's no law there, except that which we bring with us."

      "The Proprieties should be observed," The March Hare explained regally, "We shall give no warning. We should offer no quarter to inferiors, save secretly by the kind hearted. And we all shall wear appropriate moustaches," The March Hare edified them. She glanced around. "It's a 20th Century European tradition, the chap with the moustache always attacks without warning and kills everybody. It's practically a law."

      "We'd have to be Socialists," Stupid Fuzzbutt said sagely as she considered. Then she looked around at the others. "WHAT?! I understand what she meant - and it's pretty funny."

      "Good save," Flopsie said.

      "I liked her better when she honestly seemed a scatter brain," Cottontail disagreed, then cowered behind Hazel.

      The Angel was thinking. "How many of those pirates have we got left?" Hazel asked, "From the roadblock and the ship?"

      "50," Bugs answered.

      "Cannon fodder?" Mopsie suggested, "What? We're out of valuable things to throw."

      "Are we?" Hazel asked.

      Mopsie hid behind Stupid Fuzzbutt and whimpered, "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right - "

      "Volleyed and thundered," Hazel added.

      "That's right, isn't it?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asked and grinned. She reached back and patted Mopsie on the head, "That's really evil Hazel. We'll do it, but it's evil."

      "I hear a plan formulating," Bugs said.

      "Good - ie," Gennie began, and General Woundwort finished, "Smell one too."

      "Yes, the bracing odor of sanity going up in smoke," Flopsie said morosely.

      "You can leave," Bigwig offered as she joined the planners.

      Flopsie looked aghast. "WHAT?! And give up show business?" Flopsie, Holly, and Campion chorused.

------------------------------

      The first of them appeared, and prepared their attacks to confront the guards who had the bad luck to be near their landing site. "Don't move or you're dead," Hazel told the motley group of Humans and Pokègirls.

      "Yeah, you and what army?" the Hellcat said.

      "How about us?" Stupid Fuzzbutt said as she and Thumper moved in from behind.

      "We have them covered," came the voice from both sides, as a Coyotits and two blondes stepped into view, but the figures on the other side stayed in the woods hidden from sight.

      "And you are covered by us," The March Hare told the flank side ambushers.

      The man in the heavy body armor began, "Let's not do anything - "

      "Megami-Sama!" the strange girl with two torsos shrieked as she threw herself at The March Hare.

      The punch silenced the shrieking torso. "Jokette, and do not spit upon me," The March Hare intoned fiercely, "Are you equally blind?" she asked the armored torso staring at her unconscious fellow traveler.

      She raised her hands in surrender. "You are here to rescue someone," the armored torso said, "So are we, Phelps, Millicent, your IDs."

      Two of the black-clad figures slipped out of the forest, and produced leather wallets, and displayed the badges within.

      "The Sunshine League has no sway here," The March Hare tossed back, "We have no intention of leaving these pirates alive."

      The bugeyed expressions most of the other people told them that these others had never heard a Megami-Sama talk like that. "If you're here to arrest them, you have a problem," Hazel said, "None of us will risk our Master for a live captive."

      "I understand," the man in the heavy armor said carefully, "There are other captives. And we need to roll up their network. If we can rescue them, and not kill everyone, I think we can work together."

      Bigwig shoved her back. "Back off a half-mile," Bigwig said, "Holly, take her back." She stared at the man. "Don't think we've agreed, and we have all of you covered, including your hidden allies. But I'll listen, talk fast."

      The man glanced over, and turned back. "The house is that way. I can tell you where to hit it, to drop it on just the people you want taken down."

      " 'Taken down'? We want them taken out," Bigwig said, "You might have the League to protect you, but we don't. Or you don't know who is running this little group. They come after us, we won't survive, so they don't know who we are. The only way to ensure that, is they don't live."

      He glanced around, eyes paused on each of the girls. It's as if he can see even our hidden troopers, Hazel realized, So that armor must have a lot of magic built in. Bigwig may have bit off more than we can chew.

      Flopsie joined Bigwig, and the man looked lost.

      "He's telling the truth," Flopsie told them, making all of them relax slightly, then her voice sharpened, "But he's already planning on saving our victims."

      "Yes?" Bigwig asked.

      "We need prisoners to interrogate," he reminded them.

      "A compromise?" a gray-feathered woman in blue and red with yellow trim began. She walked out and stood tall, at eight feet she towered over all the others. "We Level 5 any we don't need."

      "And who are you supposed to be?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asked. She obviously recognized the uniforms, which Hazel didn't.

      "Superwoman," the woman told her and grinned warmly. Everyone started to relax, until she finished, "Would you like a demonstration?"

      Not now! she wanted to shout.

      "Then follow me," the woman said as she walked off, "We can sort out the survivors later. Phelps, get the chibi ready to march. We do have the best hole card, but we're reasonable."

      "Chibi?" Hazel asked Holly as they slipped after the large, but extremely stealthy woman.

      "I don't know. Any breed can be a chibi, but I didn't see any of them that would be particularly useful."

------------------------------

      "The shield is nearly impenetrable," The March Hare intoned her doom, then bragged, "Only my full power would disperse it, and then, there is the structure of the house itself, and the shielded individuals within."

      Spare me, Gennie thought and smiled as her friend and lover nudged her, Yes, the Megami isn't the only firepower we have. These brawlers may be impressive, but for artillery, we have them beat.

      "That will be good enough," the man trying so hard to be scary, told them and pointed to his diagram

      He's just so cute! Gennie thought, I just wish I could hug him and tell him his Harem loves him. He doesn't have to play at being mean, they know him and will love him just the same.

      He continued, "These are the major support pillars. Knock them down, and the house collapses in on itself. This pit and these rooms underneath hold the prisoners. Your Master is probably among those."

      "There's only one full-grown male down there," the crazy girl with one button holding her cape said.

      As if we didn't know he was here, Gennie glanced at Stupid Fuzzbutt who tugged at her ponytails and waited nervously, She hasn't changed, much.

      Another gentle nudge and a whispered, "Boom Boom."

      Gennie grinned mischievously. "I think it's time for a MegaBoom too. We can take down that house."

      Let you see what a real combat Harem is like. Too bad we can't just kill all the bad people inside, but The March Hare and Hazel agreed. But - accidents will happen, she thought happily.

      The tall grey birdgirl in the funny long underwear looked at Gennie and Boom. "I too can assist."

      Gennie froze for an instant. She's the only one who knows what she's doing. I don't want her hurt!

      "The blast is blinding," Gennie warned, before Boom tried to explain and confused everyone, "It isn't just fire, it's more like a look into the heart of the Sun, aimed down a narrow beam. Well, ten inches across." Honesty forced her to add, "But it will put poor Boom out of the fight." She stroked her friend's shell to offer her apologies.

      "In combination with my attack, we won't need her," the grey birdgirl said as she stared at her Master, challenging him to disagree. When he didn't, she turned and smiled at Gennie. "And I don't think anyone would object if you stayed with your friend as a guard."

      The little girl grinned. Suckers! Boom will be just fine, with General Woundwort carrying her, she thought, As if I'd let any of those bastards who hurt my friends live to brag about it, or try again.

      Then honesty crept back in and she frowned. "You might go blind."

      "I'll keep my eyes closed, you can aim for me."

      "Here," Hazel handed the woman a welding mask.

      The grey birdgirl smiled a smile Gennie recognized among her own Harem-sisters. "Do you have a pair of goggles instead?"

      Somebody's got a secret, Gennie realized, And they want it to be a surprise. We've got some real surprises in store for you too.

------------------------------

      "Ready?" Hazel asked nervously. She looked at Boom and Gennie.

      The WolfQueen grinned and Flopsie knew, The fix is in.

      "I don't like being an afterthought," the Hellcat complained.

      Get a life, Flopsie thought as she looked over the others.

      "It's to contain any stragglers," the man with the Symbiote replied automatically.

      The Infernal subsided, then smirked. Flopsie wanted to scream.

      "Maybe the Celestial Alliance is behind this," the Hellcat added slyly, glancing at The March Hare as she did, "As a side-effect of making more Purelines."

      Did you pick the wrong target, Flopsie thought.

      "Celestials are notoriously bad at long-range designs and their unforseen consequences, and should never be trusted with complicated conceptions," The March Hare sneered. Everyone else rolled their eyes or stared at her in confusion. "That may explain their sexual reticence as well." When no one took the bait, "Philistines," she muttered. She smiled. "Now is everyone clear about my plan?"

      "Your plan?" goth Lolita torso asked, trying to outsneer The March Hare, "It is my Lord's plan, with some input from you."

      Flopsie looked at her Harem sisters. 4, 3, 4, 5, and a 2 from the MaryAnn Drews, she thought, She's trying, very trying.

      "Your Lord's strawman, which was entirely unsatisfying, and worst of all," Th March Hare continued, despite the peanut gallery, "It was NOT funny." She regally pivoted to face the two white-leotard girls. "Of course I'm insane," she told them in high dudgeon, "I'm a Jokette."

      The two girls just stared at her in complete confusion.

      "I think we execute the plan, and then worry about credit," the Coyotits said as she seemed to be fighting off the incipient headache, "And there is a terrific humor in it. I just wish I understood it."

      "You'd sleep better not knowing," Flopsie said with sympathy, "Trust me." "I should know," she muttered to herself as The March Hare turned to stare hatefully at the house.

      The March Hare smiled, then toppled over. Holly caught her easily, exactly as planned.

      "Shield's down," Holly reported as she lowered her patient to the ground. Their Nurse Joy and the Succubus in the cassock moved up to help. Darkness enveloped the two Nurse Joys and everyone else turned away.

      There should be more noise than that from a blast that powerful, Flopsie thought as she opened her eyes. Hazel and Stupid Fuzzbutt were gone, and the house was collapsing exactly as the armored man predicted.

      "You do good work," Bigwig said, patting him on the shoulder, "We'd keep you around."

      Flopsie shook her head.

      " 'cept you ain't nuts," the Xerablondi finished.

      "I'm beginning to doubt that," the armored man whispered as both teams headed down the hill. Leaving the Gennie and Boom behind to keep an eye on the medical team. Superwoman staggered a few steps, then returned to that group.

      Flopsie and Bigwig stared at the two-for-one girl, until she realized her mistake. "OOPS! I forgot!" She vanished. The pair shook their heads at that.

      "Idiots," Bigwig muttered.

      "She'd forget her own head, if Kris didn't keep it glued on," one of the Farfuck'd agreed, "Farfuck'd are insane."

      "Be nice," the armored man warned.

      Flopsie tried to keep from giggling.

------------------------------

      The room looked to be decorated for a banquet, with a long table with a sideboard complete with a very exhaustive set of carving knives and other cutlery. You could skin Typhonna with all those knives, or give a Fairy Cute a pedicure. Oh, I think that's the idea, a purpose for each, and each to its purpose. This isn't a banquet hall, he realized, It's a sacrificial altar. Three guesses on who is to be sacrificed. I don't know if that Jokette will take my offer seriously. Nothing clicked like it did with Hazel. So she's probably just a Menace looking to escape. Sorry, if my conscience is supposed to let me die rather than release a Menace, it won't. I live, they die, and I figure out a way to stop her later.

      The Jokette entered. She'd cleaned up, or been cleaned up. The long-sleeved dress hid the cut marks and the tattoos. She actually looks presentable, he thought, Now, if I can find where that PsiDyke hid the red button, I can start the festivities.

      "You like?" she asked coquettishly, posing to show her figure.

      "Very nice," I told her, then spotted the red button, hidden as one of the flower arrangements in the centerpiece.

      She doesn't like the fact I'm not instantly drooling with lust. The knowledge we're being watched would put a damper on things even if I was with one of my girls, I kept to myself, With a potential murderess in the room, it really slows things down.

      "I wonder what they're serving," I comment, and note both the lack of chairs, or any padding: cushions, pillows, draperies, table clothes, etc.

      "Anything special you have in mind?" she asked, "To sink your teeth into?"

      She's trying to play along, but she's slipping, I thought, She's not an artist, just more of a sadist. Hazel and The March Hare care about making things clever and funny, if sadistically so. She just wants to hurt someone, and laugh at them.

      I hit the red button.

      It'll explode, and damned if I know what it'll do. I bet The March Hare doesn't know what they'll do when someone sets them off.

      The explosion wasn't much. Merely a spray of confetti that stripped away the illusion of the ceiling, revealing the party guests walking on the ceiling above us. Various high muckety-mucks and each with a sextoy/bodyguard or two. A lightning bolt from the Jokette splatters off the screen, frightening some of the party goers.

      "Lying bastard! You said your trick would let me get them!" she hissed.

      Actual I said -

      "The shield is stronger! They're completely invulnerable now! So guess what I'm going to do?"

      The red button failed? I thought, It always works, if a bit unpredictably, it had to have worked! But what did it do?

      "Are you listening?"

      "Not particularly," I said, "At least not closely. You can either trust me, or be a victim of what happens."

      "You are a fool and I'm gonna give them what they were waiting for," she shouted at me, she looked up, "Enjoy the show, 'cause when I get loose. You're all getting the same."

      The flash of light illuminated them all, a bar of white-hot light lanced through the hall.

      It missed all the people, but none of the pillars, I thought as I dove under the massive table. The floor shook as if some inconceivable giant approached, massive footstep after massive footstep. Three times the world shook, and then, all was quiet.

      I picked myself up from beneath the massive table. Above, trapped by the debris and the reinforced shield were the glittering people and their useless bodyguards.

      "Nice trick, but it won't save you," the Jokette said as she tore off the dress and wound it around her fists like a garrote, "You are going to die."

      The third figure who had appeared had something to say. "Begone foul dwimmerpond, be you living or dark undead, I will smite you if you touch him." The stern countenance, flowing blonde hair and piercing blue eyes marked her as an Angel as effectively as a nameplate. The diction added to it, but the swallowtail tuxedo in emerald and amethyst that hugged and emphasized all her voluptuous curves seemed at odds with the obvious.

      Why is an Angel wearing a bunny tail? I wondered, then realized the Angel had caught me looking, Great job, alienate the rescuer.

      " 'Smite'? 'Smite' who talks like that?" the Jokette asked.

      "Tolkien," I and the Angel said together.

      "Then you can die with him when I - " The pie to the face stopped the Jokette.

      "When you what?" the Angel asked as she lowered her throwing arm.

      "You - you - you - you!" the Jokette stammered as she cleared her face of the creamy filling.

      "Are funny, and you are not!" the Angel told her sternly, "And you are not worthy of I, my Master, or even life."

      "I'LL KILL YOU WITH - !" the Jokette screamed, only to fall over, revealing the Battle Angel behind her. The seriousness of the girl warred with the 'frills and bows' look of her armor. The twin long ponytails, platinum blonde at the center, sandy blonde - nearly brunette - at the edges tugged at my memory.

      The two, sort of two, girls who appeared next took the cake. "Ha! Ha! She falls in fear and trembling before I arrive, my magnificent evil presaged my coming and she could not withstand it!"

      The other girl in white armor from the joined torso up just rolled her eyes and leaned out of the way.

      "YOU! You are a Celestial and must now -!"

      The pie in the face seemed to calm her down.

      "Not standard Celestial armament, I assure you," the girl in the armor told her conjoined partner, she wiped off some of the goo, and tasted it, "Raspberry. She gave you a raspberry."

      "I shall make you PAY for such an insult! I shall make you PAY for -!"

      The ominous creak of the shield, and all the matter above it silenced all conversation.

      "The check's in the mail lets get out of here!" the Angel shouted, grabbed my arm, and vanished.

      Reappearing amid the rescue force did nothing to convince me that any of my rescuers were sane. "Par for the course," I realized, then heard a familiar voice.

      "I've got the bestest Master in the WORLD!"

      "It sounds like, but it also sounds like . . . " He turned and froze as he looked up at one of his rescuers, and up, and up, and up.

      And the huge, lizard queen/Engine of Destruction Pokègirl gave a flirtatious wave, a saucy wink, and vanished. He looked down at the man leading the rescuers. The black body armor, the face concealing cowl, and the symbol on his chest.

      "And you are . . . ?"

      The man leaned close, and whispered huskily, "I'm Batman."

      "Of course you are!" he exclaimed, "It's so obvious!" He looked at the sky and shouted "Are there any gods I haven't managed to offend in this life or the last?"

      "I can check for you," the Angel offered with a grin.

      Most Angels tend to be on the - underripe - side, not in the 'Underwire by Cable and Hawser Co.', I thought, She could stand in a downpour, and her feet would stay dry.

      She caught me looking, but just grinned a bit. He swallowed hard and walked away. I don't need more Pokègirls. I can barely keep ahead of the ones I do have.

------------------------------

      "Doesn't he - like me anymore?" the heartbroken Angel asked her harem-sister.

      "I think he couldn't keep his eyes, and other parts off you," Stupid Fuzzbutt said, "He's remembering his girls, and that he wants to put his hands on them first, so while he'd like to put his hands on you, he'd rather put his hands on you, and he doesn't know you're you."

      "Thank you. I'm not depressed anymore. I'm just going to walk over there, and let my head explode."

      "Glad to help."

------------------------------

      "I've got the bestest Master in the WORLD!" Flopsie announced to as much of the west coast of the Sunshine League as possible. The PsiDyke she had in a one-armed head lock, and the girl she had over the opposite shoulder seemed to have given up trying to escape. "Can I keep them boss! Can I?! Can I!? Can I?!?"

      "I think they have a right to choose who is keeping them," he said as he looked at the pleading looks from the other PsiDyke.

      "OH! I have to audition!" Flopsie said excitedly, "I'm stupid! That's why you're the boss! Where are my toys!?" Flopsie rushed off.

      The girl on her shoulder gave him a worried look. He gave a few reassuring gestures, and added, "Play NICE! That is an order, and you know the consequences I can hand out Flopsie."

      The PsiDyke slowed her pace a bit, but continued on. He sighed and continued walking, trying and failing to collect his thoughts as he searched for a couple of the missing faces. Stupid rabbit probably chased some ditzy blonde down a hole, he thought uncharitably.

------------------------------

      Bugs walks up to the distraught Angel. "Go after him," she tells Hazel. "That crazy rabbit was right. He's lost his lady love, and he's fuzzy about where she is. Tease him or tell him, but be with him."

      The Angel nodded and flew off.

      "No advice to just hold him down and Tame him?" the Demon-Goddess asks.

      "That's more your specialty, Thumper," the Seraph replies.

      "Let's got see if there's anyplace besides the big house to keep out of the rain," the Demon-Goddess suggests.

------------------------------

      Hazel spots Stupid Fuzzbutt staying just out of sight, but shadowing their Master. And she not alone, Bigwig's on the other side, she realizes.

      He suddenly turns sharply and stares at her. She freezes, willing him to see through the change and see her. He looks confused as he walks over to her, while trying to look behind and around her for what he is really seeking.

      "Look, we didn't get off on the right foot. But I'm not really that nice a person. If you want go with those heros, it's all right. I know there's some powerful personalities in my Harem, but if you want to escape, my say goes."

      "If I want to stay?" Hazel asks.

      "Ma'am," he says politely, struggling to just look at he face, or at least nothing below her neck, "I can't decide if they're more crazy for staying with me, or if I'm selfish for wanting them to stay."

      Hazel would have strung this out, but I know it's wrong, she thinks, It's nice seeing some of his rough edges have gotten smoothed off, but I want my Master back.

      "That Battle Angel seems to adore you," Hazel says as she smiles, "And is totally devoted to you. You can't be all bad. Although I can see how she got the name 'Stupid Fuzzbutt'." As his confusion grows, she struggles to just smile pleasantly, and not grin ear to ear.

      "Stupid . . . ? Hazel?" he asks tentatively.

      "We're with you," she says as she wraps her arms and wings around him, "Now and always."

------------------------------

      "Hey rabbit we - oh!" Bugs stammers, and whirls around, blushing furiously, "I did not need to see that?"

      "I'm taking notes," Stupid Fuzzbutt says as she watches Hazel and Master's reunion, "Popcorn?"

      "Thanks," Thumper says as she takes some, then she stares at their Master, "I gotta try that later."

      "Don't you dare!" Bugs warns.

      "Okay, I'm sure our MaryAnn Drews would be more than willing to try it," the Demon-Goddess soothes, "So who's gonna carry him back to camp?"

      "She may be an Angel now, but she was a Jokette who broke a Megami-Sama. I'll wait for her to ask for help," Stupid Fuzzbutt says, "What did you find?"

      "A bunch of servants' quarters, clustered together," Thumper says, "They'll need cleaning, and eventually, covered walkways one to another, but they're structurally sound, and no drafts. So we can move in. Ooo! Lookies, she likes!"

      The Seraph peeks, then covers her eyes as she turns beet red from head to toe. "Did they used to do that when she was a Jokette? And why would a Celestial still do that?" Bugs asks.

      "They love each other, and know they enjoy that. You don't mind me doing that with a feather," Thumper says, "When do we dig through the ruins?"

      "We do that under our allies' direction," Stupid Fuzzbutt said, "There might be someone nasty still alive in there." She turned to stare at her Harem-sisters. She tugged nervously at her twin pigtails. "Am I the only one thinking around here?"

------------------------------

      The digging had found only bodies, so far. Brian helped them haul the mangled corpses to the bodybags to the spot where others carried them to the Navy forensic teams for removal and disposal.

      "Considering what they were doing," Brian said, "I can't feel sorry they're gone. But I also expect their families will want some kind of revenge. And me Harem and I will be the visible target."

      "There are already clean-ups going on," Bruce rasped at him. Then paused to look thoughtful. He shook his head and started working again.

      "Cred for your thoughts?"

      "You ever wonder whether you've gone - mad, yeah you have. I sometimes think I'm somebody I can't possibly be."

      "Batmen?"

      "Batman, no, Wellington. It upsets the Napoleons so much, I keep it under my hat," Bruce said.

      "You know how she caught Bugs and Thumper?" Brian asked as they assembled a collection of hopefully similar pieces into the bag, "I was trying to get rid of her. She was too damn stupid, and too damn stubborn to accept that, and took it as a challenge. She just knew I was testing her, because I couldn't be doing anything cruel out of sheer villainy. Then she took down a Mantis, and two Jokettes, using the same stupid, insane creativity and determination. She also had no worries about laying out another Jokette, all by herself." He sat back and looked at the ruins of the house. "So yes, Alice in Wanderland -"

      "Wonderland."

      Brian stopped and stared at him. "I didn't pay much attention in school. They rarely told me anything I needed to know, and they kept what I needed to know from me by that same trick, Boy Scout, so knock off the corrections, or you can dig the corpses out by yourself," Brian told him, "Or I'll just fire the whole mess and be done with it."

      "Sorry."

      "Living in Alice in Wonderland is my day-to-day existence. You let the universe beat on you, but you never give up. Occasionally you kick some bastard to the curb, and if he really deserves it, you get yours back while he's trying to get back up."

      "What happens if he stays down?" Bruce asked.

      "Then you leave him to the Harem. Your job is making sure they don't get back up. If they are smart enough to live through it, Taming wonderful for them. But if they try to get up, they'll try to hurt you, so you don't let them. That means they stay down until they develop brains, or they die. Civilized rules are just changing the direction, but the fight's the same."

      The various freed human girls were walking towards them, marching actually. They all carried scrub brushes, buckets, and other cleaning supplies. Bruce heard it first, then on the farside of the pile, Phelps. Brian turned to look at them.

      The Angel, Megami-Sama and Battle Angel were bringing up the rear of the group were singing a beautiful harmony, exactly like a choir of angels, with the conjoined Farfuck'd at the front, singing and keeping time with her whip-cracks.

      " 'Where there's a whip there's a way, where there's a whip there's a way, where there's a whip there's a way!'" they sang in a jaunty tone.

      "Even the girls they just rescued from captivity are singing," Bruce noted with shock.

      "Welcome to my world," Brian said despondently, then listened for a moment, "It is a catchy tune."

      " 'We don't want to go to war today, but the Lord of Lash says nay, nay, nay. We're gonna march all day, all day, all day! Where There's a Whip There's a Way!'" they sang as they marched along. Some of the girls gave shy glances to Brian, Phelps or Bruce.

      "It's not the song," Phelps explained as he walked over, "It's who is singing it. Celestials engender a level of trust that is not always warranted."

      " 'The crack on the back says we're going to fight. We're going to march all day and night and more, 'cause we are the slaves of the Dark Lord's horde. Left, right, Left, right, Left, right, Left, right . . .'"

      "Sounds like you've had some bad experiences with the high and mighty," Brian said as he pulled move pieces out of the rubble and piled them in the sack, "Are you that Manifesto guy?"

      "No, but I did have one try to slip herself into my Harem. She was ejected, with extreme prejudice," Phelps said, then stared at Brian, "What about you?"

      "The March Hare is . . . mostly . . . harmless. Except when there's a real threat, then I think Typhonna herself should run away. Hazel, I knew her when she was a Jokette, and we Recognized. Didn't Batman used to have a Jokette partner/nemesis, whatever?"

      "They were guys, and we can test your theory," the other Farfuck'd said as she approached, took Phelps' hand and smiled at him, "They are happy, and safe, that is all that matters to them now. The - eccentricities - of their rescuers enhance that safety, rather than detract. The mundane is their enemy."

      "So they're less afraid of this craziness, than they would be of normalcy?" Brian asked as she shock his head.

      The elegantly dressed girl nodded.

      Brian frowned. "One day, I'm gonna find who ever comes up with this shit, and punch them right in the nose!" Brian declared.

------------------------------

      While the main house had been destroyed, the multiple servants' quarters were still in as good shape as Thumper and Bugs had said. Some were even comfortable. The entire Harem had moved into the largest of these. They'd had an early supper and now sat around talking. Brian had every chair suddenly had a Pokègirl sitting in it, even if it had been empty when he started towards it. As an apology, he sat in Stupid Fuzzbutt's lap, and the now armored octopus wrapped herself around him.

      "So what do we do now?" asked Tabitha, the self-appointed leader of the human girls they had rescued. She looked at the Pokègirls with a jealous nervousness.

      "I suggest we get some sleep," Brian said, "If you decide to stay with us, we have fifty pirates we captured, and once they've been sorted and processed, or reprocessed, you can have a few partners and guards, each."

      "We aren't citizens of the Sunshine League," Tabitha pointed out, "And we aren't likely to be saleable as Pure-Strains."

      Most of the girls shuddered at that.

      "Our recent allies might be willing to get you your papers in return for your assistance," Hazel commented, "If you stay on this island, no one will care."

      Explosions from the ruins of the manor house drew everyone's attention.

      "She couldn't be back," Flopsie's new friend gasped.

      "WHO?" the crowd asked.

      "The dispossessed owner," the PsiDyke said, squirming under the gaze of all those eyes.

      Brian shook his head. "She can't tell us, so we find out ourselves," he ordered, "Let's go."

------------------------------

      The explosion throws up clouds of debris and dust, that had been steel-reinforced concrete, into the air. Brian looks at the wall he'd been dragged away from by Bigwig moments earlier, and that it wasn't any more. "Hilds are supposed to have that kind of power!?"

      "Well, this one does!" Hazel yells at him, and yanks him out of the way of a falling chunk of debris.

      "Maybe she's supercharged or a genesplice!" Bigwig yells as another blast shatters the defenses. They flee to another shell hole.

      "At least the others are getting away," Easter says as she fires lightning and Holy Fire at the Hild, "Hooray us."

      "Yeah, we can die happy," Hazel remarks as she heals the damage to Easter. Another blast hits near them.

      "It is done," The March Hare tells them as she stumbles over the ridge and practically falls into their shell hole. Only Hazel and Bigwig catching her prevents her face-plant.

      "Great, the one person I wouldn't want to be caught dead with," Hazel says as they crouch at the bottom of the hole. She looks around and listens, "I said 'the one person I wouldn't want to be caught dead with.'" She looks around. "Okay, who sticks their head up and gets it humorously shot off?"

      Bigwig hoists the unconscious The March Hare, and lowers her sans decapitation.

      Brian looks over the edge of the shell hole. The Hild, her head cocked to one side, her mouth hanging open, stares in absolute shock at something out of sight, but now audible. "What's that?" Brian asks.

      Hazel stands next to him, as the rumbling roar gets louder, and Pokègirl shouts and screams can be picked out of the cacophony.

      "That's Stupid Fuzzbutt, and . . . " She glances at her Master. "A bunch of other people."

      He stares at the Hild's hair blooming like a flower, slowly standing on end. The Hild, her slack-jawed, stunned expression haloed by a corona of black and white hair, looks at Brian, at the approaching storm, and back. He turns to look at where the Hild is staring.

      Coming around the curve of the hill, came the once-Bunnygirl, and the rest of the Harem riding their Grizzlar steeds, accompanying a galloping herd of Ursines. The Battle Angel waves a huge carrot over her head and screams her fool head off as she rides. The Hild blinks and shakes her head to comprehend the impossible sight, and takes a punch in the guts from Bigwig. She bends slightly, and Bigwig and hazel follow up with two maximum strength punches to her head. The Hild staggers back, her anger overcoming her astonishment, and tries to shake off the effects, but can't also shake off the capturing Pokèball.

      "Yeah! You muph mlfrlrmba!" Hazel shouts as Bigwig covers her mouth.

      "When you're winning, and there's another enemy out there, you - do - not - draw - attention," Bigwig warns, then looks at the surrounding crowd of Grizzlars and Ursines surrounding their shell hole, "Hi."

      "We won!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shouts as she bounces up and down on her mount.

      "HEY!" the Grizzlar shouts, "You're no lightweight!"

      "Tabatha?" Brian asks.

      "Yeah!" the Grizzlar answers as she tumbles the Battle Angel off her shoulders, "You like my new look?" The Grizzlar takes on a flirtatious pose.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt looks at the Seraph, Mary Ann Drews and Demon-Goddess who dismount and the bear-girls all drop to the ground. They all let go the raucous laughter they'd been holding in.

      Hazel drops her head. "Let me guess, Flopsie and The March Hare came up with this?"

      "Yep," Stupid Fuzzbutt says as she lays on her back, laughing.

      "Do I want to know what gave you all this idea?" Brian asks as the glamor on the girls fades, leaving the humans exposed for what they are, "And why risk yourselves this way?"

      "Who'd care if we live or die?" one of the other girls asks. Her bitterness stifles her laughter and the others', "Our families sold us, our new owners were going to use as a fucktoys like Pokègirls. We can't have kids, what use are we to anyone?"

      "Human wombs," Bugs says seriously, "That's worth it to some. Eggs are cheap, wombs to carry them are valuable."

      The girls stare at the Seraph.

      "And don't think that no one cares about your fate. We only asked for your help, because she would have killed us all separately, better to risk together than die apart," Bugs tells them.

      The girls blush at the praise. Flopsie and her two new friends come over the hill, the human girl supporting the two PsiDykes.

      "She believe it?" the girl relays the question from Flopsie.

      "We got her," Brian says as he holds up the Pokèball, "It seems The March Hare sort of overpowers most opposition."

      "Excuse me?" Bigwig and Hazel ask as they tower over their Master and glare down at him.

      "You know what I mean," he says defensively, as Hazel and Stupid Fuzzbutt stick out their tongues at each other. "Don't forget she bites!" he yells.

      "Which?' Tabatha asks.

      "Both," he replies.

      "So." Tabatha claps her hands. "When do we take on the Legendaries?" she asks.

      "I hope I don't ever run into one of those. They'd probably blow us to kingdom come, and laugh as we died."

      "You'd be surprised," The March Hare whispers.

      "Mather! Mather! I 'ace is 'tuck! I 'ace is 'tuck!" Stupid Fuzzbutt shouts as she bounces up and down in front of him, and hops too. Her tongue still at maximum extension.

      Brian shakes his head as she pulls worriedly on her ear-like ponytails.

      Then she falls over backward and laughs.

      He chuckles at her antics. "Just remember, your bunny place is near the ground and all the creepy, crawly -"

      "SNAKES! SNAKES! SNAKES CRAWL INTO MY BUNNY PLACE!" she shouts as she hangs on desperately to her Master, accidently keeping his face firmly pressed against her breasts.

      The depressed girls began to chuckle at the Battle Angel's Bunnygirl-like antics.

      "How does she deal with a snake-girl in her Harem?" Tabitha asks as she laughs.

      "I ignore Hazel as much as I can," the Battle Angel says.

      "HEY!" the Angel replies.

------------------------------

      The Hild came awake and found she was tied to a post out in the clearing near the destroyed house, her powers neutralized and the binding exceeded her strength to break them. The Battle Angel and the Angel seemed a trivial threat, the Megami-Sama in the green and purple peasant dress seemed vastly more threatening.

      She fixed her attention on the only male. "I get free, then I carve your balls off and feed them to you!"

      The slap from the Megami-Sama shocked her. " 'I get free, then I carve your balls off and feed them to you!' SIR!" she bit off each work, her fury radiating from every pore.

      The Hild sneered. "Is she for real?" the Hild asked.

      The slap was hard enough to split her lip. " 'Is she for real?' SIR!" The March Hare hissed.

      The Hild glared at the Megami-Sama, then looked at the man. "You gonna have her bitch slap me all night?" the Hild asked, when The March Hare raised her hand, she quickly added, "Sir."

      "Nope, although you'd probably prefer it," Brian said. He smiled and stood up out of the chair. "I'll give you one chance. Swear allegiance to me, promise to serve faithfully, and nothing bad will happen to you. Refuse, and I'll have my two angels talk about the League tax code, until you beg to be my eternal slave." He grinned at her.

      The smirk from the Hild showed her contempt for the group. She looked at each of them, deciding the order of their deaths and the painfulness of each.

      "He's not kidding," Flopsie added, drawing her attention, "That Battle Angel used to be a Bunnygirl, and she did things, you really can't imagine."

      "Capturing a Seraph single-handed," Stupid Fuzzbutt said, "Technically I used both hands, both feet, my tongue, my teeth, several assorted plants, a couple - "

      "Yes, I think she gets it," Thumper said, "It's the dead Mantis, the trio of Jokettes who aren't with us any longer, and Dark Lady who might interest her more."

      "She took out the Dark Lady, with one shot," Stupid Fuzzbutt said and nodded to The March Hare.

      "You are all nuts - sir." The Hild tested her bonds.

      "Is that a yes or a no, you don't have to say sir if it's a no."

      "Go Tame a Widow," the Hild told him politely.

      "No, 'sir', so that's a no." Brian shrugged, stretched, and told her, "Just remember, you asked for this." He turned to walk away, telling the two angels, "Start on the tax on businesses, then work up to the corporate stuff. Especially sub chapter J for recovery of lost tech." He looked around, at the confusion on their faces. "My mom was an accountant, okay? I know how dull those people can be."

      "Then I'll kill her first! And when your father -"

      "She's already gone," Brian told the Hild. He walked away as Hazel opened a thick tome and began to read.

      "My way would have been more merciful," The March Hare intoned, before following her Master.

      "I gave her all the mercy she was gonna get," Brian said, took a moment to listen, then broke into a dead run. A moment later, the rest of the Harem were doing likewise.

------------------------------

      He walked into the 'Taming house' with the Pokèball and considerable trepidation. "This is what I got into tamer's Journeying for: the fights and the girls, and Hazel says while BOOM and Gennie are together, she's not lesbian with anyone else." He closed the door and thumbed the release. "I wonder if they're bonded."

      The green and purple shell appeared. Once the girl was solid, the jets turned her to face him. Nothing could be seen inside the dark interior of the shell.

      "Hello BOOM, I'm Brian, your Master. I know you normally Tame with Gennie, but I was wondering -"

      Two tendrils of dark matter exuded out of the arm holes and carefully stuffed him through the head opening into the shell.

      He found himself in a nest festooned with fur 'throw rugs', in the middle of a large living room. A few art deco chairs in the shadows rested against one wall opposite a stand-alone fireplace/stove that broke up the floor space. The openings seemed like huge picture windows, set in the stygian black walls. Everything was black, or dark shades of gray.

      "This place is bigger on the inside than the outside," he murmured, "Or I've shrunk."

      "No," came a voice from among the furs piled in a sunken area of the room, "Outside is a shared illusion. Here, is my reality. You have yours -"

      She squealed alarmingly. "Don't try to see me. It's painful. Accept that we are here, and it will go easier for both of us."

      "I don't understand. Should I close my eyes?"

      "No. You bring your assumptions with you. Set them aside, and discover the truth with me."

      "How does a philosopher get named 'Boom'?"

      "It is -was appropriate," the shadowy female form glided out of the furs, and over to him. She seemed indistinct, even liquid in her form. "I have seen you a little," she told him, "I will not harm you. Not in my home, and never to a guest."

      "I'm not afraid."

      The sting of the beautiful laughter was softened by the caresses that bypassed his clothes, and the warmth pressed tight against his crotch. "I am a warrior," she explained, "I can see a thousand things by how a man stands, what he looks like, and what he looks at when someone new enters a room. You check the exits, not the newcomer, not your girls. You see if you can escape. Then you display your aggression."

      "So I'm a bully because I'm afraid?"

      "You resort to force because it's the one weapon you have confidence in. Now with Hazel, you develop your mind. From the hand and where blows are landed, to the soft art where force is redirected. You will learn. You have already mastered bending where other tough guys would break." She seemed to be ignoring his answering caresses, her delightfully warm body excited with her touches. "But you don't need philosophy." With one move, she unbuttoned his shirt and fly. "I'll show you the other reason I'm called 'BOOM'."

      While he couldn't see it, he knew she was grinning.

------------------------------

      The morning saw the Hild, wild-eyed, disheveled, and apparently boneless as the pair dragged her in and placed her at their Master's feet. Bigwig and The March Hare tensed as Hazel and Stupid Fuzzbutt withdrew. The Hild looked up, from one face to another. Etched on her face was an expression of someone who had experienced things no mortal should be subject to.

      "Sir," she began furtively, "Beat me, rape me, skin me alive inch by inch." She shook herself and wailed plaintively, "But don't let them lecture me on my wrong doing. Please, sir." She bowed low and shook as she began crying.

      "Very well. Flopsie, you and your friends get her cleaned up. You might want to brief her on a few things as well," Brian said.

      "Yes Master," the PsiDyke said happily, "Can I -? Gently, yes I understand completely." She grinned to her two new friends and nodded to the bath house.

      As the Hild was lifted by the two PsiDykes, Hazel and Stupid Fuzzbutt approached.

      "I think it was the discussion on the morality of taxing a family farm versus the trust fund kids of government officials, that really broke her down," Hazel said, "And before anyone asks how I could do it. I didn't consider it 'torture'. I considered it the first steps on the road to redemption."

      "What would you use on a Bardess?" Bigwig asked, "Make up an opera from War and Peace?"

      "Asking you to sing 'Happy Birthday' would suffice," The March Hare explained.

      "Hey! I sing very well!"

      "Just not in any key known in the annals of music or science," Hazel agreed.

      The Xerablondi glared at her Harem-sisters.

------------------------------

      "So what are you going to do now?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asked as they packed a few days clothing and supplies for a trip 'to the mainland' that Brian had been otherwise closed-mouthed about.

      "Once we're done packing, I'll tell you," he reminded her of the same thing he'd told her over the last few days.

      Hazel entered his spartanly furnished room and glanced around. "We finished collecting all the jewelry we took off the bodies. And I think we have all that can be, identified. As well as who insured them. That should help."

      "Why wasn't I told?" the Battle Angel asked pointedly as she looked from one to the other, "I'm not a Bunnygirl anymore."

      "I don't want to tell you," Brian said, "But I can hardly keep my plans from Hazel."

      The former Bunnygirl's eyes narrowed as she stared at the once-Jokette. She spoke very carefully, "I'm not jealous of the bond you share with my Master," she said to Hazel, "But I wish you'd trust me."

      Hazel considered, then nodded. "He's figured out a way to change you into a Bunnygirl," Hazel said, "Let's tell everyone."

      "What?" Stupid Fuzzbutt breathed, "W - Why would you want that?" She fought down panic as she followed them to the house that acted as their 'Great Hall', where the whole group could hang out and interact. "Master?" she tried and failed to keep the deep hurt from her voice, "Why would you want that?"

      "Quiet," he said, and grinned, "I'm going to do it now." He raised his voice, "Everyone, please give me your attention. In three days, is Sadie Pokèns."

      "He's going to get rid of me!" Stupid Fuzzbutt wailed and collapsed to the floor.

      Brian ignored her. "Since I come from the boringest, most loathsomely insipid place in existence, and they have a huge asparagus festival about it there - "

      Stupid Fuzzbutt leapt to her feet. "WE'RE GOING HOME AND MASTER'S GONNA SHOW EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT HE WOULD NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING HOW POWERFUL AND CLEVER HE IS AND HIS HAREM IS AND HIS FRIENDS ARE AND EVERY POK GIRL IN TOWN IS GONNA WANNA BE WITH US AND BE OUR FRIEND AND BE YOUR FRIENDS AND WE'RE GONNA COME BACK WITH ELEVENTY-HUNDRED POK GIRLS AS FARMERS AND SETTLERS AND MY MASTER'S GONNA BE GOVENATOR-PRESIDENTIAL OF A WHOLE NEW COUNTRY AND - " After steadily turning more and more blue, she finally ran out of air and fainted.

      "Didn't she walk in here suicidally depressed?" Tabitha asked as she stared at the fallen Battle Angel.

      "You can't take the Bunnygirl completely out of the Pokègirl," Hazel said and shrugged.

      "What if we'd rather stay here?" one of the other girls asked.

      "You aren't my property, Hell, when she was a Bunnygirl, I didn't treat her that way . . . all the time," he admitted, "But I wasn't kidding. There's plenty of Pokès who've love to get out of that bumfuck town, and go elsewhere. That's why we're going a few days ahead, and we aren't gonna hide what we've done."

      "I too wish to view the demesne of my Master, and sample the peasant-grown foodstuffs," The March Hare commented, "But limit not your enquires to Pokègirls only. This place has well-watered lands that the more adventurous mayhaps want land of their own. Your isle is a place they can claim it. Were you to permit their inclusion."

      "She makes a good point," Bigwig added, "You might want to hit the Pokècenter to go through the Long-Term Abandoned Storage to get some older Pokès who just want to settle down and farm, rather than live as adventurers."

      "BOOM," the G-Splice added.

      "We'll be leaving tomorrow morning, in any case. Anyone who wants to come with is welcome. Anyone who wants to stay here, there's plenty of timber to build those walkways, and I'm leaving the pirates who won't need a Level 5. It might be a good time to pick a few you specifically want."

      "What happens to the ones we don't pick?" Megan asked, she acted as the 'leader of the opposition' to Tabitha, but she too had a good head on her shoulders.

      "They may get picked up by the others." Brian braced himself, and looked at Flopsie. "If you want to leave, and officially get registered with your friends . . . I'll understand."

      The PsiDyke grinned and hugged her companions. "It's you saying things like that, that will make me stay. I'll be, formalizing, our new girl as one of yours. Ruth will be traveling with us. A human, even without proper papers, can do things a Pokègirl can't."

      The girl merely nodded shyly. The Other PsiDyke stared at Flopsie in confusion.

      "She's going to need a new name," Brain said, "And you know the drill."

      Flopsie smiled. "Everyone say hello to Lola."

      The newly christened PsiDyke accepted the hug from Ruth, and stared in bewilderment at everyone else.

------------------------------

      Brian walked into his room. His ribs hurt from the hug he'd gotten from Stupid Fuzzbutt and his arms still ached from the effort of days of carpentry, as well as establishing some fortification for the girls who would remain behind. As he sat on his bed, after tossing his shirt aside, a pair of arms wrapped around him.

      "Tame a poor Feral?" came the muffled, giggling question from under the lump of covers that quickly became a pair of breasts pressed tightly against his back.

      "Tabitha?" he asked, not turning around.

      "I'm not going to ask how you figured that out," she asked, "I'm not as big as Hazel, but I'm not tiny either."

      "Voice, I can see your hands, and Hazel is looking at you from the doorway," he replied, "And we're Recognized, so I can sometimes see what she does."

      Hazel waved from the doorway, then withdrew.

      "You don't have to do this," Brian told her.

      "Do what?" Tabitha asked, as a child who' been found out would.

      "Give yourself to the guy in charge," he said, "You can stay, not because you are in my bed, but because you're a person and you want to."

      "Is that all you think I'm doing?" she asked coldly, but hadn't released her grip.

      "I'm afraid that's what you're doing," he replied tiredly, "I want you around. But only if you want to be. Campion knows how to get you refugee status, and you'll be protected in the Sunshine League."

      "And if I want to stay here?" Tabitha asked, letting her breath tickle the back of his neck, "What have I got to go back home for, or go anywhere else for? I'm a spare, a warm body and that's it. I was supposed to be a baby-factory. And when that didn't work out, I was supposed to be a bedwarmer for the rich and powerful. What am I supposed to do? Learn a trade? Go study magic or science, and become a great hero of the world?" she asked bitterly as she laid her head against his back, "Someone would have to teach me to read first. Someone would have to teach me a useful skill. I was trained to look pretty, make appreciative noises when someone with no skill squirted inside whichever hole they stuck themselves in, and nothing else." She seemed to sag against him as she held him. "It's worse for me than for Pokègirls. For all of us. They can be soldiers, they can have someone stick a magic rock against them and they suddenly become valuable. We're just throwaways. I'm not asking you to marry me. Just don't throw me away because I 'can do better'. I can't, I don't know how. This is all I know."

      "I don't believe that, but I think it'll be better discussed with the rest of you. I watched that idiotic rabbit take down a Demon-Goddess, then a Seraph, with nothing but my snide comments for help. So I don't believe anyone or anything is helpless. You will have to let me sleep on my stomach, or I'll snore like a battalion of chainsaws."

      "Okay," she said as she let him lie down and the lay down atop his back.

------------------------------

      There's trouble with the pirates, woke Brian out of a sound sleep.

      He glanced at his watch as he pulled himself loose of Tabitha and Stupid Fuzzbutt. It's 0330, of course there's trouble with the pirates. What else would someone be doing at night, but letting loose the pirates we captured? he thought as he tried to figure out who had contacted him.

      "Problems?" Tabitha asked sleepily. Stupid Fuzzbutt was already awake and armored up.

      "I don't know, but I intend to find out," he said as he pulled on his pants and walked out of the room. Behind him the Battle Angel followed, and Tabitha was making rummaging noises as she looked for her clothes in the darkness.

      The 'Great Hall' was a riot of activity. He ignored the crowd of girls and Pokègirls peering through the windows, and marched into the hall itself. The four big tables, various chairs and the two sofas were pulled into redoubts in the far corners of the main room. Spaghetti, sauce and meatballs plastered one redoubt, and the walls around it, and the other, much larger redoubt had been pelted with yellow apples. Stupid Fuzzbutt took up a position in front of him.

      "Order Lover!"

      "Antipasto apostate!"

      "Enemy of the Goddess!"

      "Stupidity Lover!"

      "Keel haul the scallywag!"

      With each insult, a handful of apples, or a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, sans plate, was discharged at their foe from one redoubt to the other.

      "This is either a genuine food fight, or a religious dispute," Hazel said as she closed in behind him.

      "How can you tell?" he asked as he picked up one of the fallen apples, " 'For the fairest', must be for one of you."

      "I've never been impartial in my life," Hazel said, "Must be for her." Hazel pointed to Campion who was using a spaghetti and apple-splattered end table as a shield as she advanced towards them.

      "Sir, they refuse to stop being pirates," the OfficerJenny reported, she had several bruises and she'd picked off most of the noodles from her sauce-stained uniform, "They claim it will cause an ecological disaster if they do."

      "Pirates prevent global warming!" an Ice Maiden stood and shouted, then fell as she took an apple right to the head.

      "Why exactly did you let them out?" he asked as Stupid Fuzzbutt caught a mess of spaghetti, sampled it, and smiled.

      "We let out five," Campion reported, "We mistakenly let out some who had a . . . previous dispute."

      "She wouldn't let us eat hot dogs on her Holy Day!" one of the apple-throwers screamed.

      "There is only one proper meal on a Friday!" came the response from the spaghetti crowd.

      "They got all 35 balls, released them, and, fortified the area," Campion reported.

      He looked at the pitiful fortification that he could have torn apart, then at the people coming out of the darkness. Bugs, Thumper and General Woundwort had arrived. Brian stepped aside to let them in. "Collect their leaders, ball the rest, and let Hazel and The March Hare sort this out," he told them, "Officer, did it occur to you that the middle of the night, after a long week of work, might not be the best time to tempt the fates?"

      "I had not considered that," the Officer Jenny explained.

      "Where did they get all that food?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asked.

      "Inquiries will be made," the Officer said woodenly.

      "Go help them," he told the Battle Angel, "Officer, go see Holly and get fixed up." He sighed, glanced at Hazel. "Do you know what all this is about?"

      "Other than they're gonna fit in perfectly," the Angel told him, "Not a clue."

      "What did I ever do to the gods to deserve this?" he asked.

      "You defamed the goddess!" one of the pirates shouted.

      "I don't even know who your goddess is!" he shouted back.

      "See?"

      He closed his eyes and decided not to count at all. "If they don't just give up, you can hurt them!" he shouted back.

      The March Hare approached, in what would have been full papal regalia, except it was an accessorized tankini, in purple and green.

      "Nice . . . hat," Hazel commented.

      "I was playing Godzilla," the Megami-Sama sneered, "I had to look the part."

      "Who was Tokyo?" Cottontail asked, and hid from the answering glare.

      "It was Sapporo!" the furious Megami-Sama thundered, "There had to be beer!"

      "Any left?" Brian asked hopefully.

      The Megami-Sama reverently produced a 40-ounce bottle from somewhere in the part of the costume that reasonably shouldn't be able to hide a thimble, opened it, and handed it to him. "Take, drink, do this in remembrance of me."

      "I think you've got the right ambience for the situation," Brian said, he raised the bottle in salute, " 'For this relief, much thanks.'"

      "I think I'd better help," Flopsie said as she and her crew arrived, "You two go back to bed. Let the professionals sort this out."

      "You're a therapist?" the arriving Tabitha asked.

      "No, I'm, crazy," Hazel replied.

------------------------------

      The March Hare swept into the room. She frowned at the spoiled food adoring the walls and glared at the two Pokègirls that Bigwig had strapped to the two overstuffed chairs.

      "Tying us in a comfy chair will not break our loyalty to the Goddess!" the apparently human girl shouted. She paled and drew back as Gennie handed The March Hare a pack of cards.

      She thumbed through them, and spotted several that were not standard to most decks. She looked as Br'er entered. She gave the Hild a hard look.

      "I just came in to watch you do it to someone else," Br'er said, "If I can't make someone suffer, I can enjoy someone inflicting it on others."

      "They have a religious dispute," she intoned, "It will of course as always be handled with Peace, Love and utmost respect."

      Br'er looked at Hazel. "She doesn't study history much, does she?"

      The March Hare snorted, then handed the Star Mystic's cards back to Gennie. She fixed her gaze on the ridiculously ornate pirate's hat that had been the Shrine Priestess'. The girl watched it with an intent, even worried, gaze.

      "Do not think you're abrasive nature will scour away those bonds," The March Hare told her, "Bigwig can and shall renew them as required." She handed the hat to Br'er, who grinned at the Shrine Priestess.

      "Have a care," The March Hare whispered to Br'er, "She may become your Harem-sister and Taming sandpaper is - not an experience you would enjoy."

      "Personal experience?" the Hild smirked, then grew serious as The March Hare stared at her.

      The Megami-Sama nodded to Hazel. "A rat-tail file." She walked to the far wall, looking at the spaghetti and mashed apple that adorned the walls, floor and even the ceiling. She let the silence drag a bit, as both Pokègirls considered the fate of their prized possessions.

      "It would seem that compromise is in order," she said finally as she turned back to face them, "If I am to understand the initial basis of the dispute, it is because neither of you could realize that several meals can be partaken on a Friday."

      "Friday was the cooks' day off," the Shrine Priestess said, then burst into tears, "She locked up the cook shack and we had to eat it cold and crunchy!"

      "Hot dogs aren't too bad cold!" the Star Mystic shouted at her.

      "I would rather die that submit myself -!"

      "SILENCE!" The March Hare's command shook the building. She glared at the two prisoners. "Your former mistress is dead by her own hand," she informed them, "I arranged it." She smiled, as a Jokette could. "I can easily arrange the same for you." She grew more serious and austere. "Or, I can put you to work, as cooks, in two separate kitchens. You may prepare what you wish on Fridays."

      "You can do that?" the pair seemed genuinely surprised.

      The March Hare stared at them, then looked at her Harem-sisters. "Are they brain damaged, or are they actually that stupid?"

      Hazel flipped a coin, it landed on its edge and exploded. "Both," she reported.

      "Very well," The March Hare graciously accepted the Angel's wisdom, "Of course I can. You and your followers will be on perpetual KP, so that you may meet your dietary restrictions."

      "Meat? I'm a vegetarian."

      The powerbolt blew Br'er through the wall and out into the darkness. "Have Stupid Fuzzbutt explain the value of pi to her, for two hours, then put her through a Healing Cycle," The March Hare told her Harem-sisters, "As for you, what other dire religious strife should we circumvent?"

      "I won't renounce piracy!" the Shrine Priestess announced.

      "You approve of raping and killing those weaker than yourselves?" Bigwig asked angrily.

      "Those have nothing to do with piracy! It's all religious propaganda!" the Shrine Priestess countered with equal venom.

      "So what does constitute being a pirate?" Thumper asked and noted the moan that rose from her Harem-sisters, "What?! It's a fair question."

------------------------------

      He looked at the grim expressions on the MaryAnn Drews' faces, and on certain other members of his Harem. "What did I do wrong this time?"

      "The pirates knew about the sales of children," Mopsie said, "They knew that the village was a fraud and that the ring had supporters in the governments of most of the Pacific Rim Leagues. After all, pure-strain human children are important."

      "As long as they are birthed to the right people," Cottontail added, "If they're born to peasants, they are only little better than Pokègirls."

      He'd heard all the same ideas from Tabitha, and didn't need it to season his breakfast. "You act like I should be surprised by any of this," he said, "I watched all that kind of crap growing up, and just because it happens on a bigger scale, that doesn't make it a bigger deal. You want to stop it, good luck. We could kill all those bastards farming the kids, and the big money bastards who are buying them will just front money for another batch of kidnappers and abusers. We deal with what's in front of us."

      "Is that your final word on this?" Bugs asked.

      "For today, and the next week, yes. We have a bunch we just rescued," he replied, "We deal with them, get them settled and safe. Then we run off to save the rest of the world. What's for breakfast?"

      "Spaghetti."

      "Whose idea was that?" he asked, and immediately regretted it.

------------------------------

      "What does spaghetti have to do with pirates?" Tabitha asked, only to have Brian clamp his hands over her mouth.

      "If you want to come with us to the mainland, you'll withdraw the question and just accept that the kitchen crew are happy to serve. Understood?"

      Tabitha looked worriedly at him, but nodded.

      He pulled his hands away. "It's, complicated, but don't worry, there'll be plenty of people who understand when we get back."

      "They'll be the ones with the drooling vacant expression," Stupid Fuzzbutt asked as she stared at a big, fluffy meatball, "Do I want to know where this came from?"

      "NO!" came the unanimous answer from all within the dining hall.

      "I'll tell you," Br'er said as she bussed the tables.

      "You're evil," Bugs told her, "We get it."

      "Can you make meatballs out of carrots?" Stupid Fuzzbutt asked. Someone hit her on the head with an apple.

      "Okay! Which is the smaller number, those who go, or those who stay?" he asked.

      "Of your Harem, stay is smaller," Easter said, "Just me, Br'er, BOOM and Gennie. Only Tabitha and Ruth are going with you."

      "Okay, all who're going, get your stuff. We'll assemble in the square in ten minutes. Then we teleport to an empty area outside of town. The first stop -" He paused, feeling queasy over what would happen. "Is my parents' home. Then, a few other stops. We've got rooms in one of the motels in town. With two days until Sadie Pokèns, I intend to contact a few people who might want out. Then on Pokèns, they'll get to choose." He watched `his` girls, human and Pokègirl, nod. He nodded back and headed to the assembly area.

------------------------------

      He and The March Hare appeared in the clearing along with the baggage. The pair immediately began releasing the Harem. A moment later, Flopsie, Lola, Ruth and Tabitha appeared.

      As they sorted the packs and cargo, Hazel approached him. "Why so - nervous?" she asked quietly.

      "You don't know my parents," he replied.

      Ruth, Flopsie and Lola went with the Stupid Fuzzbutt, where she'd do the same: go home and collect her belongings and visit with her family.

      The small precession walked down the road, Brian's group on one side, Stupid Fuzzbutt's on the other.

      "Surrender you, Pokègirls and, err . . . " The wild-haired, old man held up the Pokèball, and looked at the two columns, and the Pokègirls materializing behind him.

      "Hey Caraway, you let your sign blow down again," he called to the old man, "I'll make you a deal, I'll buy a mess of your jelly, and you let me go with a warning. I can smell some of Mandy's fresh bread. I'll buy some of that too."

      The old man looked down the road, and ran, cursing, to set the sign up again.

      "You want to explain this?" Tabitha asked.

      "He sells jellies and jams. And some honey," Brian explained, "But he's a little careless about keeping the signs up. So he's not really a member of Team Rocket, but there have been a few times . . . "

      The old man rushed past and set up the sign across the road, then the weather-beaten tripod sign next to where he'd been sitting. The signs all read 'Surrender your taste-buds to Caraway's Jellies!' "So, how much you want?" the old man asked eagerly.

      "Two cases," Brian said, "Both a mix of berries and a couple of honeys."

      "We've got flavored honeys too. Caught a Ladybra, and she had some good ideas, once she wasn't Feral."

      "Congratulations, I'll take a case," Brian said. He paid the full price for the fourteen quart mason jars in each case. While they discussed the selection, an older Whorenet arrived with a tray of bread.

      "Hi Mandy!" He waved to the insect Pokèwoman, and the collection of bug Pokègirls trailing behind her.

      "Brian," the Pokèwoman looked at the collection, "Are these yours?"

      "Yes, sort of," Brian admitted, "Sometimes I think it's more like I'm theirs."

      "If you feel like that, they like you," she told him.

      He let the Pokègirls talk about their experiences, while he stood off to one side with Caraway and Mandy. "How have my folks been doing?"

      "Without your momma, God Rest Her Soul," Mandy said, "Your aunt has not been looking after the business, just bossing your dad around."

      Brian nodded, remembering one reason he stayed on the streets, and was eager to leave. He let the girls from the farm stare at the 'ne'er-do-well' leave with a collection of loyal, eager, happy Pokègirls. They paused to let The March Hare teleport most of the jelly and honey back to the base, while they passed out the fresh bread and spread a few samples of the jelly on the hot bread.

      "I can't imagine why you left," Bugs said as she enjoyed the snack.

      "You'll find out," he assured them.

------------------------------

      The two groups separated and Stupid Fuzzbutt moved closer to Ruth, as Tabitha and her Master headed off towards his home.

      "Shouldn't we go with them?" the nervous Battle Angel asked.

      Flopsie shook her head. "You're stalling, afraid of what you'll find. Best we stay with his plan."

      "I think - "

      "I challenge you for your Battle Angel!"

      "I think I'll go beat up Melvin and then we'll talk." She turned to the Tamer and attacked with a scream of rage.

      "Shouldn't we help her?" Ruth asked, then winced as the screams of fear and pain began.

      "Naw," Flopsie said, "Believe me, she can be scary. She could be scary as a - oh, that's gonna smart! She was scary as a Bunnygirl, so you can imagine -"

      "Prepare for trouble!"

      "Prepared!" Flopsie shouted happily as she left Lola to guard Ruth.

      "Ow, ow. OUCH! No! Oh!"

      "Don't watch!" Lola told her lover as she covered the girl's eyes. "Oh! Don't watch the Battle Angel either."

      "Are they winning?" the girl winced as the scream and squeals in stereo.

      "Sort of," Lola said, "They can't actually tie people in knots like in the cartoons. Oh, I was wrong. They're more valuable alive!" she shouted at the two combatants. "Owwww! She just evolved that Rubbermaid to a Stretchymaid, lucky for Melvin."

      "Who's a 'life-support system for a cunt', MarshMelvin! Who? Huh? Huh!?" Stupid Fuzzbutt jumped up and down and shouted at the fleeing Tamer.

      "FUZZBUTT!" Lola shouted.

      "What?"

      "Go help Flopsie!" Lola told her.

      "What are you taking about? She's win . . . you're right, you need to tie knots better for shibari," the Battle Angel said as she headed towards the PsiDyke tying up the two Team Rocket members.

      "Hey! Bunny, you remember these two?" Flopsie asked as pulled the woman's head around to let Stupid Fuzzbutt see.

      "You!"

      The woman whimpered and tried to inchworm-squirm away. Flopsie pulled her back and swatted her on the ass. "Remember how you ran away from a Bunnygirl?"

      The man offered a garbled defense, but the gag made from his socks kept him quiet.

      "I say we . . . " Flopsie enjoyed their terror. "Turn them over to the local cops." She smiled at their relief. "After some fun." All four of them laughed malevolently.

------------------------------

      The gate was wide open, the lawn hadn't been cut recently, and the small garden was all weeds. The girls closed in behind him as he walked towards the house itself. The building needed painting, and some repairs.

      Yes, I could have stayed, and done this, he thought, But for what? Nothing I did was ever enough, or right.

      The old, broken-down man who came out of the house reeked of spoiled beer and unwashed human.

      "This place is occupied, go away!" the man said.

      I should just go, he thought, He just told me to leave.

      The woman who rushed out of the home proved the adage 'Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.' "What are you doing back here, with a pack of - them!?"

      Softly, softly, Hazel sent to him.

      "I came back to see my father," he replied as politely as he could, "And to pick up my belongings."

      The statement cut through the buzz his father had, and the man tried to square his memories of his son, with the man who stood before him.

      "You must be a fool. You said you never wanted to come back, so we sold or burned all the junk you left," the woman told him. His father only looked slightly uncomfortable at the sight of his son's anger.

      "I'm glad you could make use of it," he said carefully.

      "If you stay here, there's work to be done. They can stay in the barn," his aunt told him.

      Only the touch of Hazel, and the presence of the others let him avoid the screaming match that had been the usual path these conversations took. "No, I have a room at the motel. I didn't want to disturb your privacy."

      "You wanted to avoid work, just like your father," she replied.

      You haven't been doing any work, beyond browbeating him, like you did us, you lazy sow, he clamped his jaw shut so he didn't say any of it, I'm free of you.

      "Good day," he said as he turned away. He sensed Tabitha or one of the others reaching for him. "Not yet," he warned, "Not where they can see." They pulled back, and maintained the perimeter. He shut out the insults to himself, and his father.

      If dad wants to put up with that, it's his business, he reminded himself of the first, last and only time he'd returned the insults shot for shot, and the beating he'd received in return, It's his house, his sister, and his problem.

      They walked back out the gate, and down the road a ways before he stopped and leaned against a tree. Hazel stepped behind him and wrapped her arms around her beloved Master. Tabitha pressed herself against him on the front. The others crowded in, trying to touch him as if they could draw off the hurt he felt.

------------------------------

      The Officer Jenny looked up wide-eyed as the team walked in and placed the two Team Rocket members on the counter.

      "Hi Maimy," Stupid Fuzzbutt said happily, "I'd like to turn these in."

      "Uh, who are you?" the Officer Jenny asked.

      "I'm Brian's Alpha," she said, "Considering Melvin has been shooting his mouth off, you should remember who I am. And these two Team Rocket members need to be taken into police custody. I'm sure their Pokègirls will be interesting, and any that aren't stolen should be available for salvage."

      "Brian's Alpha is a Bunnygirl." The Officer Jenny went on dully and methodically.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt rolled her eyes. "A Bunnygirl can evolve into an Ingenue, an Ingenue can become a BattleAngel."

      "Where's Brian?" the police Pokègirl asked, as if checking off questions on a list.

      I wonder if transforming her into a Bunnygirl or Bimbo would raise her IQ, or at least give her a personality, Stupid Fuzzbutt considered, I'm beginning to remember why I wanted out of this town. Well, the idea of having sons, with the Chief around, was another.

      "Maybe we should come back later," Ruth quietly suggested, "Flopsie?" She stared at the PsiDyke. "Flopsie?"

      "He should be here in a little bit. Don't ask what happened," the PsiDyke said.

      "Why?"

      "Trust me," the PsiDyke said quietly.

      Brian entered with Hazel and The March Hare. The two Pokègirls looked particularly protective. Their Master looked stoic. "Officer, these Team Rocket members attacked my friends and Pokègirls. They were arrested, now we're remanding them to your custody," he said.

      The police Pokègirl stared at him in confusion.

      Probably trying to match her expectations with you two as kids, with who you are now, Flopsie informed the group.

      "Call Sergeant McLean, and let him deal with it," Brian said firmly, "Or call the chief," he added with distaste.

      The man who could have been mistaken for an AmaChamp with a radical mastectomy walked to the counter. He looked at the pleading expression of the two in the 'R' emblazoned T-shirts and the collection of people in the station. "You don't have to deliver them."

      "What's their redemption value?" Tabitha asked.

      The Sergeant sighed, picked up one of the criminals in each hand, and carried them back to the cells.

      "Oh crap," Stupid Fuzzbutt said as she spotted SLIS agent Angie coming out of the chief's office. A man in a naval officer's uniform followed, "I think we're in real trouble."

      "Brian, Rear Admiral Lower Half Collingsworth," Angie introduced the man. The next man out of the office needed no introduction to Brian or Stupid Fuzzbutt.

      Both Hazel and Flopsie closed in on Brian protectively. The girls were used to people looking at them the way the chief looked at Brian, but such a physically loathsome specimen to be so interested in their Master left them cold.

      "Odd, my son seemed to think you wouldn't have lived through your experiences. We all knew you said you'd never come back," the police chief said, as he stared licentiously at their Master.

      "His son is Melvin," Brian explained, and gave the girls a warning glance. "What does the Rear Admiral Lower Half want with me?" he asked Angie.

      "No comment on the 'Lower Half'?" the officer asked. The entire group just stared at him. "Tough crowd. Perhaps we should go somewhere."

      "Wonderful idea!" The March Hare announced, and gestured.

      The group appeared back where they'd teleported in.

      "A bit of warning next time would be appreciated," the officer said.

      "Sorry, but you wanted something," Brian said.

      "We want to establish a naval base in the harbor of your island. The lady suggested you might be here for Sadie Pokèns."

      He stared in disbelief at the officer.

      "He'll think about it," Stupid Fuzzbutt intervened, "Last time he saw 'the lady', she'd led us into an ambush to assist a pack of slavers by massacring the pirates who were interfering with the slavers selling human children to fat-cats in the local Leagues."

      Angie stared in horror at the Battle Angel.

      "You thought we'd forget about that, didn't you?" the Battle Angel accused and shook her finger at Angie. "Since I just figured it out, you must have known all along. Me being completely stupid and all," she added angrily.

      "I think you're scaring the Lower Half," Hazel said as she stepped between Stupid Fuzzbutt and Angie, "We do need some time to think about it, and some details as to what is involved. But not today. I think we've almost had enough today as it is. And it isn't even lunchtime yet."

      "I still have to visit my folks," Stupid Fuzzbutt said brightly.

      "Go with her," Brian said woodenly, "If it's as joyous as mine, she'll need the support. I'll take Bigwig, Bugs and Thumper, and check into the motel. Admiral, it's the Cocohilo, I don't have the room number."

      The man passed over his card. "Can I get a ride back to town?" he asked.

      The March Hare snapped her fingers. "I think we'd all better stay near," the Megami-Sama said, then looked at Angie, "Except you, shoo, shoo!" She waved at the SLIS agent.

      Angie and the Admiral moved off a safe distance as Ruth, Stupid Fuzzbutt and Hazel approached the house halfway up the lane, with no little trepidation.

      "She'll be fine," Flopsie told her Master, "You know her."

      "I know how this day has been going," he replied.

Stupid Fuzzbutt - 'Cute' Knight (Battle Angel)
Flopsie - PsiDyke
Hazel - Angel
Bigwig - Xerablondi
The March Hare - Megami-Sama
Captain Campion - Officer Jenny
Holly - Nurse Joy
Mopsie - MaryAnn Drews
Cottontail - MaryAnn Drews
Bugs - Seraph
Thumper - Demon-Goddess
Gennie / General Woundwort - Chibi Wolf Queen
BOOM - G-Splice (effectively Charred Battle Battle Angel {Fire-type})
Easter - Blessed Nidogg
Br'er - Hild

------------------------------

      The house was little different than any other one on the street. Why am I so worried? Stupid Fuzzbutt wonders, It's not like they can do anything to me, that they haven't already done.

      She knocks on the door, and waits patently. Hazel closes in, along with Ruth.

      The door opens, and the woman standing there stares at her. Her older sister's confusion gives way to realization, then resentment and revulsion. " 'Lex, what are you doing back here? We gave you to that ass you were always mooning over. Did he get tired of you too?"

      "Hey! That's not fair!" Ruth tells the young woman, "All she wants is her stuff back. It's not like she's moving back in! You get to keep her room."

      The woman looks sour at the accusation. "Well, she should have been here three months ago when we had our garage sale, and got rid of her and Cathy's junk. At least Cathy got picked up by someone useful. Oh, you probably don't remember what was happening to the rest of us, while the dear baby was going through Threshold."

      Stupid Fuzzbutt fumes, but keeps her temper. "I remember Erica, and I was hardly in a position to help," she ground out, "Since there's nothing here, and I certainly don't want to talk to you, I'm leaving."

      "Don't come back!" Erica shouts at her, "Our parents have had enough troubles!"

      " 'Lex, I -" Ruth begins.

      "No, not Alexis, not ever," the Battle Angel says, "I'd rather be named as an insult, by people that love me, then a better name from people who hate me," the Battle Angel says as she rejoins the others.

------------------------------

      "It's times like this," Hazel says as most of the girls sit on the patio outside the motel room, "That I wish I could go back to being a Jokette. Then I wouldn't think about why I shouldn't do something totally evil, but hilariously funny, to those, individuals."

      "We should have known this would happen," Bigwig says, as she watches the people stare back at them, "There's a reason they never talked about home."

      "Their plan still has some ways to go," Thumper reminds her, "And that plan is still, holding."

      The two older people approaching brought the entire force to full alert. The two elders pause as the kampfgruppe suddenly comes to full preparedness, and directs their attention at them. "We don't want any trouble."

      "There shall not be any," Bugs says, "Who are you?"

      "We, we're Alexis's parents," the woman says.

      "It was made clear that - our Alpha was not welcome to trouble you again. It was made abundantly clear," Bigwig says as she glares at the pair of humans, "As well as having only your word. You did dispose of all her belongings, so why would you come here. She has agreed to leave you in peace, can you not reciprocate?"

      "We didn't say those things," the woman pleads, "We just want to see our daughter."

      "After you disposed of her and all traces?" Bugs asks, not enjoying their chagrin at her harsh words, while Thumper slips inside the motel room, "What could you tell her that she doesn't already know? Or rather, why do you want to talk to the Battle Angel, when the Bunnygirl was disposable?"

      "She's our daughter," the man tries to bully.

      "You gave her up," Hazel replies, "By League law, and by erasing her, you cut the bridges legal and moral. She's just another person now. Adults cannot be adopted."

      "We'd like to tell her that," the man says.

      "Then speak you peace," Stupid Fuzzbutt says as she comes out of the room, but stays within the perimeter formed by the others, "Your only daughter made the family's position that she was the only surviving daughter, quite clear." Her face's puffiness, and her disheveled hair tells the rest of the Harem she'd been crying on and comforting their Master. Now she looks calm and collected. She stares at the two humans across the barrier of Pokègirls.

      "Why are you making this so difficult!?" the woman shouts.

      "Because I am through with making things easy for people who only want to hurt me," the Battle Angel says, and smiles at the touch of her Tamer, "And I don't trust you. You may have allowed your daughter to be your hatchet man, but you are either still in charge and did nothing, or the one in charge has already made her decision. I do not intent to have a joyous reunion to salve your consciences, and have your daughter sticking knives in my back at the same time. If you want to say something to me, you start as strangers. If it really is worth the effort, you'll make it." She gestured at the others. "As they have made the effort to put up with things that bothered, frightened, even disgusted them among those they loved. If you're here for a fairy-tale ending that makes you feel better, you can go away. I also noticed that Cathy wasn't at the house, and her room had been converted over to the pottery studio your daughter always wanted. So I am well aware of who rules the roost, and who her subjects are."

      "Are you through, young lady? You should have taught her more respect," the man directs at their Master.

      "I taught her to respect competence, and herself. You want respect, you earn it. Nobody in this town ever even tried. And you pissed on everyone who didn't go along to get along," he says sharply, "Now you want no consequences. Too bad."

      "That's a laugh coming from you," the older woman says.

      "I was young and stupid," he replies calmly, "What's your excuse? All it takes is an apology, and that would get you what you want, and I don't hear one forecoming."

      The two humans stare at their Master. They grind their teeth and fidget, but the simple phrase never comes. Eventually, they turn away.

      "It's more important that they be part of the system, than to be parents. And all to stay part of a fleaspeck that even the major maps don't care about," he says, and fixes Hazel in his gaze, "Even a Jokette couldn't come up with as sick a joke as this place is. The police chief's a not so closeted pedophile -

      "Ephebophile," Stupid Fuzzbutt says, then shrugs, "He's the other thing too."

      "The mayor is a useless piece of crap, and the most successful man in town picked this place so no one would bother coming all this way to rob him." He shakes his head and goes back inside.

      Stupid Fuzzbutt watches to the two adults disappear in the distance. "Goodbye," she says firmly, then follows Brian back into the motel room.

------------------------------

      The only reason there's not dust on the doorknob, Brian thought as he approached the jewelry shop, Is he'd never permit it.

      The Very Near Human guard came alert as someone actually came into the store. Someone carrying a large bag. The guard, Hazel and Bugs stared politely at each other, and the guard relaxed. The place was neat and clean, the examples of the man's work lovingly displayed in glass cases.

      But everyone in town knows their just 'merlin's gold' and paste, brass and glass, Brian thought, The man was clever enough to make sure everyone knew that, but incredibly well crafted.

      The man who came from behind the curtain into the showroom looked a bit like an amateur magician of the pre-war type. Elegant, waist coat and suit cover his vague pear shape. He smiled vaguely at the unexpected visitor, but was too much of a gentleman to resent the intrusion. "May I help you?"

      "Mr. Andrews, you probably don't know me. Which is all to the good because I've changed a good deal. But I came into a - lets call it an inheritance. A number of people basically kidnaped me to a foreign nation, and then committed suicide when they released a Jokette as 'entertainment'. Rather than sue their estates for kidnaping and attempted murder, I took advantage of salvage laws. I think their insurance companies would be interested in the finders' fees for these items." As he'd talked, he taken out one wrapped parcel from the bag, unwrapping it as he spoke. The man produced a jewelers loupe and stared at the blue diamond pendant.

      "Do you know what this is? And if not claimed, what it will fetch?"

      "Which is why I brought it to you, Mr. Andrews. You're the only honest man in this whole town, and I've dozens more, just like those," he said as he removed a list from the bag, "And a number of the pieces, and the insurance companies that should be interested, listed here."

      "Finder's fee is typically ten-percent," the jeweler explained while still studying the pendant and the stone, "And my fee as agent is twenty percent of that, because it includes my stamp that these are the authentic items, not paste, and not conjured up duplicates. You'd be amazed what a magician can make, and some of them are as real as the original, but not the original." He straightened up and looked at the young man.

      "I'm half-tempted to ask what making copies of these originals would cost," Brian said, "Or several, and sell them to people who'd never let another soul know they have them."

      "You're thinking paintings," the jeweler smiled and explained, "Jewelry is different, people want others to know they have these. If you want museum quality copies, that wouldn't run you more than another two percent of your finder's fee. But why not try to fence them, if what you want is maximum profit?"

      "I'll take eight-percent legal, over twenty-percent and spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder," Brian said.

      "There may be inquiries of how you got all this."

      "It's already been handled by the Navy and the SLIS. They were not happy, but they agreed, it was legal."

      "Well, you came to sell, is there anything you'd like to buy?"

      "Yes, I heard stories about rings that 'shown like silver, as strong as steel,' and would fit any finger. The kid thought she was a poet, but it still intrigued me."

      "It'd be less expensive to let me properly size each ring, rather than get a spell for them to automatically resize, but the metal is white gold with platinum and a few other elements. And it's as tough as mild steel, you can't make armor plate out of it."

      "Alright, I'll sign over the full rights to that pendant to you, assuming it's a finder's fee, and not a resale to someone else. And you can start with these two."

      "That kind of marriage isn't legal in Sunshine."

      "The government got out of the marriage sanctioning business for that reason. Only the church and the public care any more. And considering where we'll be living, we are the public."

      The jeweler nodded. "Let me inventory these, properly package them, and get you a receipt," Mr. Andrews said, "Then we'll talk price."

------------------------------

      Brian accepted another happy hug from Hazel, and endured the smug smile from Bugs.

      "You could have gotten your ring today too," he told her as Hazel released him to gaze at her new jewelry, then hug her Master again. Her overwhelming joy poured through their link, making words between them unnecessary, even dishonest.

      "No, your Alpha should be next," Bugs said serenely, "Let them lord it over us a day or two, before we match them. They deserve it." She smirked again in a very unCelestial way. "I thought you were going to faint when he quoted you the price based on your agreement."

      "I never thought that the insured value would exceed the theoretical value," he admitted, and gasped as Hazel hugged him again, "But I doubt that money will last forever if we're going to make that island habitable again."

      "That's for tomorrow," Bugs reminded him, "Or rather, next week. Today is for other tasks. I wonder how the other quest is going."

      "Let the rabbit deal with that one," Brian said, "Karen never liked me, and Cammy thought I was scum."

      "That's the old you, I wonder what they'd think of the new you?" Bugs asked, as Hazel hugged her Master again.

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      Tabitha walked through the streets of a town she'd seen nothing of before. The March Hare, Bigwig, Holly and Campion accompanied her, or rather, she accompanied them as the designated human to let them do their work unmolested.

      Holly had chatted up the local Nurse Joy, told her stories about Brian and Stupid Fuzzbutt, and their mad Harem, while Campion and Bigwig searched the database for the Pokègirls they sought, breeds, personality indexes, and other data, to hone their searches.

      Leaving me to consider what I can do, and what I cannot., she thought morosely, I'm useless to them, and I don't have the skills of the others. So what good am I? A patina of respectability over what Pokègirls can clearly do without me? Or am I really in their way? A tag a long?

      "Miss Tabitha," the older man who'd just entered asked, "Are you all right?"

      "You're the local Pokègirl expert, passes out the starters to the new Tamers?" Tabitha asked as she stifled a panic reaction the man elicited.

      "Yes, I am the local member of the 'pocket protector and lab coat' brigade, "I knew they'd grow up, but I never expected this."

      I bet you didn't, Tabitha thought as long training/punishments made her avert her eyes. She was glad when Bigwig sensed something amiss and moved up to support her.

      "Professor," the Xerablondi said politely as she stood next to Tabitha, "I apologize, but I need our Mistress to check something out."

      "The man looked confused, but nodded. "Of course."

      Tabitha let herself be led away. "Thanks for the rescue."

      "Isn't that what loyal Pokègirls are for. And just because I called you 'Mistress' that doesn't get you bed privileges. I've got a male, and I'm not going back unless I'm never Feral."

      "Understood. I'm glad I don't go Feral. I'm not sure if I want Taming because I've been trained to want it, or because humans actually want it."

      "Understood," Bigwig said, "Although I do thing we'll need to stock up on some protein drinks, you girls need some new clothes and macrame isn't really suitable for elegant beachwear."

      Tabitha followed Bigwig over to examine the list of possible candidates. Looking for something that might cause a problem for the other girls.

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      'Random walk', Stupid Fuzzbutt considers, That's what Easter called it, I called it wandering until lucky. I guess the Cosmic or Celestial Awareness tells them things the rest of us don't get. The random walk had been somewhat fruitful. This is where they say she hangs out, after work, she thinks of her quarry, I think Master is wrong about Karen. Maybe not about Cammy, but she did like me better than she liked him. For some obvious reasons.

      The girl they spot is pretty much what the Battle Angel had expected. "Except for her pregnancy," the Battle Angel says to her friends, then waves them back to close the distance alone. "Hello Karen. Do you know me?"

      The tear tracks on her face mark the weeping better than any noise. Stupid Fuzzbutt stops a few feet away from the girl, one of her peers from school. "Alexis?"

      "I'm called Fuzzbutt, a leftover from my Bunnygirl days," she says, "Considering my sister's reaction, I prefer it to 'Lex."

      "You were lucky, you got away," the girl says, "I'm just on borrowed time. Until they take the kits from me too."

      'Too'? That explains where Cammy is, those two were always in each others . . . hair, in school, and she's not around. What happened? the Battle Angel wonders.

      "You used a Brooding chamber," she realizes, "Both of you."

      Then where is she? And I suspect a direct question will reduce you to tears, she thinks, then looks at Ruth in conversations with her lovers. The girl looks at the Battle Angel and nods.

      "Karen. Brian, has grown up, a lot. We bought an island. There aren't too many people on it, and -"

      "The Chief owns me," she says, and bursts into bawling.

      Always so tough and avante garde, but as afraid and traditional as anyone else in this town, she thinks pityingly.

      "Day after tomorrow is Sadie Pokèns," Stupid Fuzzbutt says, "The chief can't legally hold you."

      "Who's gonna force him to follow the law?" Karen sobs.

      An SLIS agent who got one of my friends killed and my Master kidnaped, the Battle Angel thinks, Who's smart enough to know that she should be looking over her shoulder and jumping at every noise, at every odd taste, and at every shadow, while she's in the same town as Hazel and me.

      Cammy is in the chief's custody, Flopsie sends to her, Seems she didn't take too well to losing her pregnancy to Melvin, who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

      Please don't tell me she evolved after losing her kits, Stupid Fuzzbutt thinks in reply.

      Okay, I won't, but you already figured out she did, the PsiDyke replies in her head.

      Great, and Cammy was a Dracass, three guesses what happened, and the first two don't count, the Battle Angel thinks.

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      "Heelllo Annngeee!" came a voice and tone she'd heard in nightmares often enough, but never from a Battle Angel. Despite her three powerful Pokègirls, she winced at the sound. All her girls were tense, but also looked worried.

      Angie turned carefully to look at the group who were just standing there, smiling, giggling like teenagers, and looking at her. The calculus of war told her she was outgunned up close, and the rest of the Harem was dispersed in sufficient depth that only a teleport could provide a safe way out. "Hello, Fuzzbutt," she greeted the girl who stole an empty chair from a nearby table and sat down between her Demon-Goddess and Neo-Iczel.

      "Aww, so nervous. And here I am ready to give you such a nice present."

      "I'm intrigued. Why?"

      "We got our Master back, all those bad child sellers are dead, we got a new home just full of new friends," she began in her happy sing-song, then got stone serious, "And all it cost us was one of our dear, dear friends and weeks of terror over our lost Master. Why would I want to hurt you gave us misleading intel that led us into that? It all worked out in the end, for the greater good." She grinned again, and the resumption of the happy sing-song tone did not make her any less threatening, despite sitting between two girls who individually outmatched her, "Have you looked into who sent you out to protect those slavers from those, awful pirates?"

      "Yes I have. Most of them are dead, and the people who were covering their tracks are facing a bad time at II, Internal Investigations."

      "That's nice!" the happy tone grated worse now than it had. She sat back and stared at the sky. "What's the penalty for intentionally evolving a girl into a Dronza, and then keeping her locked up, instead of killing her?" The Bunnygirl-esque fascination with the clouds fooled no one. "For a law enforcement official, of course."

      "Pretty severe."

      "I'm so very happy to hear that!" Stupid Fuzzbutt squealed and squirmed in her chair, "What's say we let bygones be bygones, and we help you make the arrest. Brian can come too, to make sure everybody behaves."

      Angie gulped and wondered if she was facing Alice, the White Rabbit, or the Red Queen.

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