02 Spoke too soon

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Spoke too Soon

                Louis took great care of the refugee, better than common sense should dictate at the least. Matthias offered his help at most any task he was sure he could do, but Louis’s little team could do anything Matthias could in much less than half the time. Okay, Matt wasn’t a total deadweight, but that didn’t stop him from feeling like one. Clean clothes actually adorned his body. That alone made him very grateful towards his new companions.

                The moment the word “pokégirls” came out of Louis’s mouth, Matt buried himself in the study of them and this world. Louis even joked that Matt used his ‘dex more than he did. The entries were far more scientific than the ones from his world, the information on the societies even more so. He even took a good look at the Azure League since Louis made mention of it. It appeared to be what was left over of central Europe and a bit of Scandinavia. Two mobs seemed to be in a stale mate over ‘control’ of the League.  The local Team, Team Schadenfreud, seemed appropriately named.  The name meaning: Team:  “Taking Pleasure in the Misfortune of others” was a good name for any criminal group.

Now that he was vaguely familiar with this world, looking back on the events of the past two weeks, a lot of his misfortune actually made a bit of sense. Then again, some things were so convenient that he was suspicious of some higher power guiding things along. Speculate all he may, he was happy about some of the things he was “compelled” to bring with him. He pulled his laptop out of a protective covering and looked over it. The justification for carting it along was that it had a wireless capability, and if he somehow got a signal in the middle of nowhere, he’d be able to contact someone. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad of an idea.

Matthias scoffed to himself aloud, earning odd looks from Louis and whatever ‘girl he had out. He waved it off as nothing. He glanced back at other things he saved. He still had his guitar-club seeing as he couldn’t bring himself to abandon something that had saved his keister on multiple occasions.  The only other things in his possession were duct tape, more rolls of plastic bags and some extra extension cords. He really was a fool. No food, no stored water other than several bags which were around the perimeter of the camp collecting dew, no money… well he had money, but if this was the fantasy world he wrote and dreamed of, his old currency was useless. Maybe some crazy fanatic collector would dish out a fortune for some old “Pre-Sukebe” money. He could dream, couldn’t he?

Dreams of grandeur aside, he had been thinking about his situation. Assuming he wasn’t dreaming or recently dosed with a powerful hallucinogenic and is in reality rampaging around Bed, Bath, and Beyond, he was completely and totally cut off from home. He remembered stories about other authors of this world getting sucked in here by one means or another. The memory of anyone ever getting home evaded his memory. That AU Ranma from that old Japanese comic got sent home… then again he recalled that plan blowing up in everyone’s face.

Looking around, his five senses told him everything was real… or was that just his brain telling him that that was what his senses were telling him? Quickly abandoning that line of thought in order to avoid a headache, he decided that he would continue as if this world was real. If it wasn’t real, worst case he ended up in a jail cell. If it was real and he proceeded as if it wasn’t, he’d probably either end up in a worse jail cell, eaten, raped, mauled, mind raped, and/or diagnosed with that Obvious Denial blood curse and imprisoned for his own safety. He silently prayed that he wasn’t in one of those Leagues that put pure blooded humans in concentration camps.

XXX

                “Hey! Matt, we’re getting close to a town, okay?”

                Matthias looked up from a journal he started keeping. “Which town?” he called back.

                “Lindis. I’m taking you back to Azure League.”

                Matthias frowned.  He never said that he wanted to go to Azure. “What league was I in?”

                Louis turned and smirked at him. “Ruby.” The survivor grimaced. Ruby was located in an area of the world that was both notoriously cold and notoriously conservative. Louis only laughed at his reaction. “You are a lucky one you know. It’s in the peak of summer right now. If you had gotten lost in the winter-“ he trailed off, knowing that he didn’t need to finish. Matthias was grateful for this fellow’s consideration. Azure League, from what he remembered, was much more liberal than Ruby.

                Although a couple of small fry ferals showed up, the rest of the trip was pretty easy-going. When he first laid eyes on Lindis, the first thing that came to mind was a military base. A checkpoint was even placed at the entrance of the city. Once inside, Louis turned his companion. “Well, can you take care of yourself from here?”

                “Yeah, I think so,” Matt said with a serene smile on his face. The semi-urban environment appeared much more beautiful to him than he remembered.

                “Well?” Louis asked with a grin.

                Matt turned to him with a confused look. “Well what?”

                “Well, what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?”

                Matt laughed deeply for a moment. “What I want to do is sit down, relax, and not have to worry about survival for a while.” His eyes lost their shine and he turned a bit more serious. “What I need to do, though, is get my tamer’s license.”

                Matt’s savior widened his eyes. “You weren’t a tamer?!” the survivor shook his head. “Wow,” Louis breathed, “How did you survive?”

                “I did not want to die.”

                “Eager to jump right back into the wilderness, eh?”

                Matt rolled his eyes and gave a humorless laugh. “Not particularly. I was dumped there through some sort of magic or teleport mishap, half my home along with me.” He chuckled at his companion’s flabbergasted appearance. “I don’t know how it happened, but I’m still a long ways from home.” The cast away’s internal double talk caused a sour look to ghost its way across his face.

                “Jeez, I spent all that time carrying your sorry ass here and you’re still not outa the woods yet.”

                Matt gave Louis an appraising gaze. “Sir, the woods is everywhere, even here. The only thing keeping the woods from overtaking everything, including this little settlement, is the fact that civilization cuts it back constantly.”

                Louis contemplated this with a frown. “You know,” he said with a raised brow, “that’s rather profound.”

                “You aren’t the first to say that,” Matt added grimly.

                They stood in a rather awkward silence until Louis cleared his throat. “Well, do you mind if I stick around until you get your license?” he asked

                 “Careful, if I don’t pass the test, then just look at where you’d be.” They both shared a chuckle. “I don’t see why not. I’d like to give you my com number so you can call in the favor I owe you sometime.”

                “Always great to have back up.”

XXX

The two entered the pokécenter that straddled the city’s outskirts. Louis immediately seated himself in one of the few waiting benches. They were the only ones in the room save for a sleeping Nursejoy at the front desk. Their entrance didn’t seem to disturb her at all. Matthias smirked at these and approached the front desk. He set the little touch bell to call service next to her sleeping head and began to ring it repeatedly. She shot up with a start and squealed, backpedaling to the wall.

“Grüße!” he greeted with a grin and proceeding in German. “Sorry to wake you, but I am looking to acquire a tamer’s license, so here I am looking to take the test.”

The civil service ‘girl blinked a few things before registering what he said. “Oh, no worries. Sorry for being asleep on the job.”

“Bah, could be worse. You’re awake now, so no helping it.”

“Okay… it’s a little sudden, but I can prepare a monitor and stylus for you. There are no psychics or celestials on staff, but I know someone who might be willing to lend a hand.”

“Thanks.” Matt turned to his companion and addressed him in English. “Looks like I get to go try my knowledge. I’ll see ya soon.” Louis waved him goodbye as the Nursejoy led him into a back room. After she got him set up she turned to him with a questioning look.

“Is there any particular reason why we were speaking Deutsch?” she asked actually confused.

The would-be tamer snickered. “He referred to it as the language of the screeching chalkboard. This is my way of getting back at him without being directly antagonizing. It’s also fun ‘cause he doesn’t understand a word of it.”

“Can I help out with that,” the Nurses eyes gleamed with malicious glee.

“Careful, the path of Schadenfreude is a slippery one.” He received a smack on the arm for his double entendre.

XXX

                Matt walked out of the room with a frown. Louis and his A-bra were both slumped together in the same corner from earlier, fast asleep. The Nursejoy, who had earlier introduced herself as Alexandrine, smiled at this. She plucked the push-bell from the countertop and walked over to the two. The loud ringing roused the two. Neither looked happy, but Louis had the decency to stand up and greet his companion.

                “How’d it go?” he asked.

                “It seemed fairly simple to me,” he stated, a frown still upon his face,” although the use of multiple choice questions made it a little odd because many of the questions could just as easily all be considered questions that require lengthy answers.”

                “He’s also malnourished,” Alexandrine interjected flatly.

                Matt rolled his eyes. “It can’t be that bad.”

                Louis’s eyebrows shot up. “Can’t be that bad?” he asked in a disbelieving tone, “Mister lost-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-and-desperate-enough-to-eat-roast-Hamtit?”

                Alexa gave Matt an uneasy glance. “You ate a pokégirl?” she asked, looking very uncomfortable.

                “It was dead and I hadn’t eaten anything in three days,” he retorted, shooting a death glare at both of them. “I also had been living off of a single piece of fruit a day for a few days before that.”

                “It?” asked a Warrior-Nun with a military crew cut who just stepped through a door, “What do you mean, it?”

                Matt folded his arms. “I was in a desperate situation and needed to eat. Dehumanizing my food helps me sleep at night,” the celestial was about to open her mouth, but he interrupted, “If you truly thought of every single piece of fruit or vegetable as an unborn child, you’d probably have nightmares for the rest of your days. If you felt the same way about meat as well, you’d die of malnutrition.” He heaved a sigh. “I do not mean to suggest that pokégirls are subhuman. I do however say that I didn’t do anything illegal and-“ the celestial opened her mouth to speak again, “I am not finished. I doubt that you as a pokégirl, a rather powerful and respectable one at that, can understand the sheer desperation of surviving in the wilderness with no natural capability to defend himself from hordes of ferals located under every pebble. I do not have any qualms with what I did, because I did not do anything other than take the flesh of a corpse to keep myself alive. I do not mentally consider ferals people because if I did picture every single one as a poor girl waiting to be rescued, my conscience would get the better of me and cause the hesitation that would probably lead to my death. I would act similarly to people who would attack me or someone I cared for.” Matt looked at each of the three people in front of him. Louis had a dark look of understanding, Alex simply looked uncomfortable, and the Warrior-Nun was contemptuous.

                The celestial spat at his feet. “Thou shalt not kill,” she spoke gravely.

                Matt’s eyes widened before he actually guffawed, substantially increasing the tension in the room. “I didn’t know the King James dialect was still around.” He calmed himself before continuing. “First of all, I never actual told any of you that I killed the Hamtit. Second, a better translation of that commandment from the original text is arguably ‘Thou shalt not Murder.’ There is a substantial difference between the two. Every second we stand here, our immune system kills thousands of invaders. Even trees kill their brothers and sisters by growing faster and choking them off from their life giving nourishment. I’m no theologian, but I prefer to think that such rules are not so ludicrously extreme.” Matt cracked his neck and bounced on the balls of his feet. “It isn’t really my goal to appease whatever your sense of right and wrong is. I’m more or less attempting to let my friends know that I am not some heartless monster, which is probably where this argument is headed.” He turned to Alexandrine and scratched his cheek. “About how long would it take for another celestial to come in? I fear this one’s opinion is compromised.”

                “How dare you?!” the Nun spat.

                “The only incorruptible pokégirls are the OfficerJenny and Lawfoxx. Even they are bound to the law, which is admittedly flawed in itself, and therefore even those breeds are flawed. Also, if celestials were infallible, Fallen Angels would probably not ever have come into existence.”

                The Celesial’s eyes flashed for a moment with a long, drawn out growl. “Surprisingly enough, you’re Light-Neutral, even if you are a hair’s breadth away from Neutral-Neutral.”

                Matthias turned towards her. “Thank you,” he said, “If you don’t mind me asking, why am I so close to being Neutral-Neutral rather than being just Light-Neutral?”

                “I can’t answer that.”

                “Oh, well thank you anyways.”

                “You are in no way welcome.”

                Matthias chuckled before grimacing and turning to his acquaintances. “I am very, very sorry about that,” he said as sincerely as he could, “I tend to get rather upset when my morals are challenged outside of legal complications. If it’s questioning them, I can usually deliver my answer and leave it at that, but outright telling me how much of a sinner I am according to their little personal rules drives me absolutely insane.” He sighed again. “So, how about those test results?”

                “You actually did quite well,” Alexandrine announced, relieved in the change of topic, “You only missed two questions.”

                “Which ones?”

                “The ones that you ranted on about the question being too broad for there to only be one answer.”

                “I can live with that.”

                Louis clapped his comrade on the back. “Congratulations, Tamer Brandt,” he said with a grin.

                “I’m not a full tamer yet,” Matt said.

                “Huh?”

                Alexa raised an eybrow. “He’s not from Azure is he?”

                Matthias shook his head. “Louis, in the Azure League, all new tamers are sent to a month and a half long boot camp to teach them better ways to survive. The only way around this is to take a much harder test that is only offered in the bigger cities.”

                “Oh,”

                “It’s not that long, and any knowledge which can benefit my survival is more than welcome,” Matt said with a reassuring smile.”

                “Well, good luck.”

Louis gave Matt his com number and the new tamer trainee idly wondered about his future. He couldn’t return home through any practical means. He was enrolling in a dangerous job with no ensured survival, in order to survive because he was essentially homeless. He had to bullshit everyone around him into thinking that he was a native and knew a damn thing about what was going on. At least it’ll be interesting, he thought to himself.