I do not own Pokemon, Pokegirls, yadda yadda yadda. I only own myself out of all the things in this story, which is really all you can own in this world. In addition, although this was plastered quite largely several other places on the Pokegirls website, this is not for kids. The correct age is, I believe, 18, but since we all know everyone on this site is a teenager, I'd recommend being at least 14 if you're gonna read this. And whatever you do, don't let an authority figure catch you.
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You know how sometimes, things happen that were never meant to happen?
Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. It happens all the time. We misplace critical objects, we forget to turn in our homework, we spend all our time writing stupid stories about anthromorphic Pokémon with boobs when we could be getting a life… So, yeah.
HAH! I MANAGED TO WEASEL OUT OF WRITING AN INTRODUCTION EXPLAINING HOW POKOL GOT INTO THE POKEGIRL WORLD! HECK YEAH! WOO! WOO! WOO!
So now, back to the story.
CHAPTER 1 ACTUALLY STARTS HERE
As he lay in the grass in the field, Pokol’s eyes slowly fluttered open. Some sort of green creature leaned over the martial artist; it did not appear to be wearing any clothes.
“Boobisaur?”
Pokol immediately jumped off the ground, somersaulting to land a good five feet away fromthe creature.
“Hey! You’re that space alien from Star Trek! I am NOT going to do a Captain Kirk, youhear me? NEVER!”
Then he noticed the huge bulb on its back.
“Boobisaur!”
“Oh, I get it. This is Pokémon, Playboy Edition. Well, I don’t have any Pokéballs on me, so I might as well figure out some way out of here. I’m not needed in this zone. Now, off to some random town.”
With that, Pokol walked off.
The creature stared after him, eyes beginning to fill with tears.
“B…oobisaur?”
SOME RANDOM TOWNSVILLE “A nice place to be a pervert”
Pokol barged through the door of the local Pokémon Center.
“WHAT IN THE-“
Several human males and somewhat less human females were rolling on the floor, in various states of undress.
“PLEASE, PANTS!”
One of the Tamers, a gangly youth with dark brown, spiky hair, leered up at Pokol. “None of your business, punk!”
The secretary at the counter recognized a possible threat to her going home early today when she saw one, and wasted no time in yelling, “BREAK IT UP, BOYS!”
Pokol, realizing what was about to happen a second before it did, quickly dropped to the ground, hunched over, and clapped his hands over his ears, which served, for the most part, to protect his eardrums. Everyone else within a square mile of the Pokécenter wasn’t so lucky; the majority of the Tamers and their Pokégirls lay limply on the ground, stunned by the sheer quantity of the noise.
“Now”, the Nurse Joy-like secretary said, as Pokol got up. “You’re here for business, are you? Where are your Pokégirls?”
“Pokégirls? Is that what they’re called? I don’t own any-“
“Boobisaur!”
“Oh, great. How long were you following me, anyways?”
“Ah!” the secretary observed, smiling. “There’s your Pokégirl! But… isn’t that a Feral Pokégirl? You should really consider Taming it.”
“Tame it? …Wait… you mean… HECK NO!”
“Well, then, I’ll need to see your Tamer ID.”
“Don’t have one, never will.”
“But you aren’t authorized to own Pokégirls without a Tamer ID.”
“You don’t “own” sapient beings. And, besides, this one is just following me around.”
The secretary seemed slightly taken aback by this, but found the strength to say; “Well, then, you should get a Tamer ID, so you can keep that Pokégirl in your Harem. It seems to like you.”
“I have no wish to have a “harem”, whatever that word means here.”
“Look,” the secretary said, snapping a picture of him and quickly printing out a card,
“just take a Tamer ID and go!”
Pokol sighed, accepted the card, and walked out of the Pokécenter.
OUTSIDE THE POKECENTER
“Well, THAT was useless. Guess I’m going to have to ask someone else…”
“Boobisaur!”
“Go away.”
“Boobisaur…”
“Fine, you can stay, but only if you go get some clothes.”
The Boobisaur ran off.
“Now’s my chance! RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!”
The brown-haired Tamer from the Pokecenter stepped in Pokol’s path; he quickly vaulted
over the boy and continued running.
“Hey!” the Tamer yelled. “Stop! I challenge you to a battle!”
“Sorry, no time! Maybe later!”
“I will not be denied! I, Rival, challenge you, mystery tamer! RIGHT NOW!”
“I’m not a Tamer. Sorry.”
“You had a Pokégirl!”
“For the last time, I don’t “have” any Pokégirls. That one was following me.”
The crowd began to circle around the two, in an attempt to block Pokol’s escape; he crouched in preparation to jump onto a nearby rooftop.
“HAH!” Rival shouted, seemingly oblivious to Pokol’s ability to easily clear the small crowd. “NOW YOU WILL DIE LIKE DOGS!”
Pokol, recognizing the Three Amigos reference, decided that he might as well fight this person now and get it over with. “NO! WE WILL NOT DIE LIKE DOGS! WE WILL FIGHT LIKE LIONS!”
“GO! EVA!”
“GO! ME!”
“WHAT?!” Rival shouted, recoiling. “You’re sending YOURSELF?! You seriously have no Pokégirls?”
“Don’t worry. There’s absolutely no way you could have figured that out before now.”
“GUH! Get yourself a freakin’ Pokégirl!”
“I refuse to take part in the slavery of sapient creatures.”
“I NEED TO FIGHT YOU! I’M THE RIVAL!”
“I don’t particularly feel like taking advantage of your perverted system just for amusement.”
Rival sighed. “…Well, you don’t have any Pokégirls… if I loan you my A-Bra, will you fight me?”
“Will you free it if I win?”
“…You won’t win. So, fine, I’ll give it to you if you can defeat me, and after that, do
whatever you want.” Rival said, throwing Pokol a Pokéball from his belt.
Pressing the button, Pokol hurled the ball, and what appeared to be a girl with yellow skin and antennae popped out.
“Oh. Abra. Of course.”
“Hey!” the A-Bra said, turning to look at Pokol. “You’re not my Tamer!”
“What? You can talk?”
“Well, of course I can! All tame Pokégirls can talk! Haven’t you ever seen a tame Pokégirl before?”
“I don’t think so.”
“…Wow. So, what’s going on?”
Pokol quickly explained the situation.
“GAH! RIVAL! HE’S JUST LOANING ME TO YOU BECAUSE I HAVE SMALL BOOBS! I hope you DO win! It’d serve him right!”
“Eva!” Rival called. “Use Quick Attack!”
“Do you have a name?”
“Chira. You won’t hear HIM using it, though.”
“OK, then! Chira! Use the Force!”
“WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE?!”
“Maybe. By the way, do a barrel roll.”
Chira simply stared at Pokol in utter disbelief that she was being sent into battle by such an idiot, easily allowing Rival’s Eva to smash into her with a high-speed tackle.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT WAS COMING?!” Chira shouted, rubbing her shoulder.
“I told you to do a barrel roll. It would have been nice if you’d listened.”
“How was I supposed to know?”
“Duck.”
Chira dived forward and rolled as Rival’s Eva went flying over her head.
“Stop avoiding my question!”
“Left! Right! Down! Run free! Left! Run fancy! Right! Jump!”
Chira turned around to face Pokol, badly bruised from , despite her best efforts, every one of the Eva’s attacks connecting, and shouted “GUH! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DODGE ANYTHING WHEN YOU RANDOMLY THROW IN FANCY PANTS MAN REFERENCES?!”
“But he has fancy pants…”
“Forget this! I’ll fight myself!”
“Wait, I think you should-“
“SHUT UP!”
Turning to the Eva, Chira ran at it and threw a punch; the Eva shifted away at the last moment and jammed its knee into Chira’s stomach, doubling her over, then jumped into the air and brang both fists down on Chira’s back, knocking her into the ground.
“Hah!” Rival cried. “You’ll never defeat an Eva with moves like that! Finish her off!”
“No!” Chira cried, as the Eva winded up for a finishing move. “I… don’t have the strength… but… can’t lose… now…”
“Why don’t you just use Teleport?” Pokol suggested.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT EARLIER?!”
“I was going to, but you told me to shut up.”
The air around Chira snapped, blasting her across the battlefield; the Eva’s kick, suddenly divested of a target, re-exerted its momentum to send the Eva sprawling. Seeing her chance, the A-Bra warped space back to the Eva’s location and , raising one arm, chopped into its kneecap.
“NO! GET UP!” Rival shouted, in obvious distress.
The Eva got up, and dashed towards Chira; its leg instantly gave way, causing it to collapse once again. Getting back up, it attempted to hop towards Chira, and was quickly dispatched with a spinning kick.
Frowning, Rival beamed his Eva back into its Pokéball, and wasted no time in hurling another one; the Pokégirl that came out of this one was yet another furry creature, this one resembling an Umbreon.
“HAH! MY UMBREA WILL PWN YOU!”
“Hey!” Chira objected. “That’s not fair! I beat your Eva!”
“I'm not going to let some conception of honor get in my way! You will be defeated!"
Pokol pulled out his Pokémon Mystery Dungeon 2 strategy guide, flipping to the type chart.
“Hm. This is bad. Dark type is immune to Psychic type… Ah, well. I guess we’ll make the best of things.”
“MAKE THE BEST OF THINGS?! IT’S IMMUNE TO ALL MY ATTACKS!”
“Would you stop talking in all caps? It’s getting annoying.”
Rival laughed, crying “All caps won’t save you now! Umbrea! Use Dark Bomb!”
The Umbrea raised her hand. "POKOL!" Chira cried in desperation. "DO SOMETHING!"
Pokol sighed. "Well, if he doesn't fight fair, I suppose I won't."
"HAH!" Rival mocked. "What are you going to try and do about it? You don't have any Pokégirls to send out! MY UMBREA IS UNDEFEATABLE!"
Suddenly, a blue-and-silver blur flew through the Umbrea's chest; the dark-type Pokégirl gave a small gasp and fell to the ground as the blur coalesced into a human shape on the other side of the field.
"That was easy."
Rival and Chira both pivoted to stare at Pokol.
"Chira" Rival muttered, "I'll stall him. Call the police."
"You cannot defeat me. My power is far greater than and opposite to any of this world's inhabitants. Resistance is futile."
"This world's inhabitants? You're from another world? ...No, you have to be some sort of Pokégirl. No human could do THAT."
"What? EVERYBODY has been dropped into this world through some dimensional portal at some point. Did you seriously never expect that someone who didn't need to rely on Pokégirls would end up here?"
Rival growled menacingly, shouted "I'll be back!" and turned to run.
"Wait!"
"Why do you call me back? Do you wish to confess that you are not human after all?"
"No, your fly is unzipped!"
Rival zipped up his pants, recalled Chira, and made a run for it.
The Umbrea, forgotten in the chaos, groaned and began to get up.
"You... what... happened?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that."
"You..." The Umbrea collected its thoughts. "I suppose I'm supposed to join your Harem now?"
"No, starting out with an Umbrea would be far too cliche for me. Go to the local Pokécenter and get healing or something."
The crowd, gathering its wits, began to press in.
"Whoa. Cool it."
"You kidding?" the crowd shouted. "You got rid of Rival! Whatever you are, you're our hero!"
"Sign my paper!"
"Sign my shirt!"
"Sign my boobs!"
Pokol jumped over the crowd, landed on the other side, and ran off into the distance.
The crowd stared after him.
"Does this mean we're not getting any autographs?"
THE EVIL SECRET EVIL-FLAVORED BASE OF THE EVILLY EVIL EVIL OF EVIL
Two Termniatrix kneeled down in front of a mysterious evil hooded person.
"My lord, we have located the one you are looking for."
"You found him?"
"We have located the legendary Kazegurama, also known as the Legend Slayer, Death from Above, Venegance of Cloud, Heaven's Judgement, The Starry Mind, The Sky Warrior, Hand of Air, and Bob."
"You have done well" the mysterious evil hooded person said. "Soon, Pokol Da'Erran will be destroyed, and the power of truth will be MINE! ALL MINE! INSERT EVIL LAUGHTER OF YOUR CHOICE HERE!"
It's totally insane and has no plot. It's me. Hopefully it's up to your standards.